Dear friends,

I thought I would ask for your help, because my wife has become someone I don't even recognize. And I am so stunned that I really need outsiders' points of view and would appreciate it if you could do any divination you feel is appropriate for me. At this point I am not sure I even trust my own insights and instincts right now.

The situation...
I have had career frustrations for the past two and a half years. I am a school teacher and am pursuing a music career at the same time. Successes are happening, just slowly. ( by the way my wife is pursuing a career in opera). I still make enough money to cover almost all the bills, and because my wife works a little, (about 3 to 5 hours a week), that gives us what we need to more than just 'make it.' However, she resents having to help with anything and would rather accumulate all 'her' money into savings. She remembers every dollar she has 'given' me and considers the condo where we live to be hers, while I pay all the bills and have no money left for savings. Lately she is threatening to leave me. I am very disciplined in my work search, and in taking care of her and our baby with love and support. I keep telling her that we are making it, and that things will get better because I am never going to give up. She in turn tells me my life is pathetic and that she doesn't know why she married me. She is changing and turning into pure hatred. I've never seen anyone behave this way in my life.

God bless all of you for any help and insight...

sincerely,
Schastlivchik

Perhaps you should ask the oracle what the best thing for 'you' to do in this situation

Steve

schastlivchik said:

Dear friends,

I thought I would ask for your help, because my wife has become someone I don't even recognize. And I am so stunned that I really need outsiders' points of view and would appreciate it if you could do any divination you feel is appropriate for me. At this point I am not sure I even trust my own insights and instincts right now.

The situation...
I have had career frustrations for the past two and a half years. I am a school teacher and am pursuing a music career at the same time. Successes are happening, just slowly. ( by the way my wife is pursuing a career in opera). I still make enough money to cover almost all the bills, and because my wife works a little, (about 3 to 5 hours a week), that gives us what we need to more than just 'make it.' However, she resents having to help with anything and would rather accumulate all 'her' money into savings. She remembers every dollar she has 'given' me and considers the condo where we live to be hers, while I pay all the bills and have no money left for savings. Lately she is threatening to leave me. I am very disciplined in my work search, and in taking care of her and our baby with love and support. I keep telling her that we are making it, and that things will get better because I am never going to give up. She in turn tells me my life is pathetic and that she doesn't know why she married me. She is changing and turning into pure hatred. I've never seen anyone behave this way in my life.

God bless all of you for any help and insight...

sincerely,
Schastlivchik

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====================
This certainly sounds like a difficult situation. I asked the oracle to "help me to understand Schastlivchik’s wife" with the hope that understanding her point of view might help you with the situation. The oracle responded with:

40.2.4.6 > 23

40: DELIVERANCE.
The southwest furthers.
If there is no longer anything where one has to go,
Return brings good fortune.
If there is still something where one has to go,
Hastening brings good fortune.

40 has to do liberation, freedom, deliverance, disentanglement. The ideogram pictures a knife used to untie knots. Your wife may feel trapped and want to get out of what she perceives as a limiting situation.

40.2
Nine in the second place means:
One kills three foxes in the field
And receives a yellow arrow.
Perseverance brings good fortune.

Karchers reads this as "malicious and devious forces threatening your relationship."

40.4
Nine in the fourth place means:
Deliver yourself from your great toe.
Then the companion comes,
And him you can trust.

This suggests that she views her current ties as limiting and only by loosening old bonds can a new companion come into her life.

40.6
Six at the top means:
The prince shoots at a hawk on a high wall.
He kills it. Everything serves to further.

This line suggests that she feels a need to deliver a final blow to her old commitments to further herself.

23: SPLITTING APART.
It does not further one
To go anywhere.

23 has to do with eliminating what is outworn and no longer useful from your life. The ideograms depicts cutting something away decisively. My guess is that your wife feels she needs to either completely revamp her current relationship with you or else decisively move on to another one.

I apologize if this reading sounds distressing, but it does seem to match your description of how things are going recently.

Best wishes,

Tony

The advise I got is that you must be patient, don't get angry and try to be tolerant, also try your best to remain calm and hopeful as you realize that you are trapped by the situation and obviously haven't a clue what to do. You need to remain optimistic and as cheerful as possible because soon enough you will find a solution to your dilemma, could be someone who will help you, like a counselor or a lawyer, so that the truth will come out. So don't worry, there is the promise of a new beginning coming for you.

schastlivchik said:

I thought I would ask for your help, because my wife has become someone I don't even recognize. And I am so stunned that I really need outsiders' points of view and would appreciate it if you could do any divination you feel is appropriate for me. At this point I am not sure I even trust my own insights and instincts right now.

Click to expand...

You've described your wife's shadow and how it's very actively threatening to destroy your relationship right now. But you haven't described what it is in *you* that is contributing to this. Your description of yourself is one of the hard-working unfortunate victim. I don't want to sound harsh, but in my experience, it's never that simple. You're contributing something to this situation, for sure. Maybe it's nothing more than your allowing her to continue to be so unpleasant without your drawing some lines that she *must* honor, or YOU will leave the relationship. The situation you describe is too painful to continue without some serious harm being done to the people involved. It's all Hex 28 in my view. Do something.

about schatlivchek and his wife

Hi there.I agree about asking the Oracle a question--why not?
But I also have to say I agree with Dobro.It may be as simple as that you need to set some boundaries and stop permitting your wife to put you down.But, as I was an unhappy wife myself once, even though my husband worked hard and said he loved me--in truth he was not listening to my heart's desire.
I so wanted us to seek counseling and he refused.At the same time, I *was* mean to him, and he was critical of me, alhtough he believed he was not.We were both wrong, and we were both right--but we only saw this after a long time, and finally both agreeing to marriage counseling..
So, I would ask her what she wants.And tell her if she really wants a divorce she can have one, but what is her problem?And listen to the answer.I wish you all the best!

Thank you, all, for your thoughtful input. I have been visiting this site for over three years and know what thoughtful people there are here. Your comments have helped.

Underlying it all, my wife and I have a fantastic relationship... except that she has serious emotional issues regarding money and little regard for how she treats people when she is upset. While we are both struggling, we are both learning. She has never had to worry about money. Her life has been easy that way. I have never had to live through extremely emotionally unbalanced displays before. My life has been easy in that way.

My current career struggles are forcing her to deal with a side of life she doesn't feel she needs to experience. So of course I am contributing by not providing great stability. Yet I know that once this piece of my life falls more into place, she will feel more equilibrium. I can't wait to give that to her.

All your comments bring me back to issues I am aware of and will help me keep them in mind as circumstances develop. I have great faith that everything will only get better. My wife is truly a great person, equipped with some new behavioral surprises I must learn to deal with, and I just need to get us through this safely to the other shore.

A hug to all of you,
Schastlivchik

schastlivchik said:

Her life has been easy that way. I have never had to live through extremely emotionally unbalanced displays before. My life has been easy in that way.

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I think you've identified the heart of it. You're both coming up against a learning curve - she has to learn to do without, and you have to learn how to deal with her when she's in prima donna mode.

schastlivchik said:

My current career struggles are forcing her to deal with a side of life she doesn't feel she needs to experience. So of course I am contributing by not providing great stability.

Click to expand...

This bit doesn't ring quite true. If she can be free to pursue her interests without working very hard, then it's fair for you to do the same. Why should she expect you to support her in this? Why shouldn't *she* go out and get a real job to support the marriage? See, you said yourself that what you need to learn how to do is deal with her emotional outbursts, and what she needs to learn to do is deal with the money issue. Okay, how are you going to do that? How are you going to deal with her emotional outbursts? She's in pain and distress, obviously. That deserves compassion and patience. But if she's messing you about, that deserves boundaries being drawn. She deserves it, she's your wife. Support her. Don't abuse her. But equally, don't put up with crap. If you're a firm, known quantity, it'll help her learn what she needs to know more easily. The reason I'm throwing out the 'abuse' possibility is cuz of the way she's handling the money situation - it's completely unfair, from what you've described.