I've been seeing this guy for a couple months. Though there are some really wonderful aspects & an great connection - there are also "challenges". Some of the challenges have been "good" because it has given me the opportunity to show up differently in this relationship and communicate (share my feelings & what I am wanting). But some of the red flags (issues) tend to be reoccuring. I arrived at the point yesterday morning where I was going to share that perhaps we both just need to go our separate ways and then we talked and spent a wonderful afternoon together. so anyhow .. I started w/one question this morning - which lead to a few. What I would love assistance in .. is your "overall" feel. I don't need each question evaluated. But as you can see there is definitely a common theme. I get the sense that this relationship would continue to be a lot of work and probably not the "soulmate" relationship that my heart is truly wanting. Maybe I am living in more of a fantasy - which will continue to leave me "wanting" ... what do you think??

Can you show me a picture of likely situation of Tom comes to AZ w/me for a couple days?
4.1.4 > 38

Can you show me a picture of what I cn likely expect of this relationship w/Tom - where it is headed?
20.1.2.6 > 60

What if I continue to explore this relationship w/Tom?
6.2.4 > 20

Should I continue to stay in this relationship for now?
17.4 > 3

What if I choose to stay and work on this relationship?
47.4.5.6 > 4

It seems that I will always come back to the same "conclusion" regarding the potential of where we can grow w/this and left feeling "it isn't enough"?

Thank you all ..

blessings & namaste ..
Beth :bows:

One interpretation for many oracles...

Hi Beth,
The set of oracles concludes with hex 47>> 4 which is generally an indicator that you are annoying the oracle by not listening to the earlier answers. The oracles about what is likely to happen in your new relationship could only be one set of options, as the general response is that what is likely to happen hopefully depends upon what folks including you and him might do. What if you continue to explore the relationship... Conflict>>Review or contemplation.

Thus, in the end, you have one legitimate oracle question and answer:

"Should I continue to stay in this relationship for now?
17.4 > 3 with the focus upon the fourth line place which is expressing and exhausting the feelings in your heart and by that changing the timing of following behind to starting a new initiative.

The issue overall appears to be a question of what it is that you are seeking or following upon and why you are more concerned with where this new relationship will ultimately end up than in what is going on now or what makes sense as a next step or development.

Frank

You ask first about your friend and you having a visit. 4.1.4 Youthful Folly sounds like a fun fling but also there is a sense of not knowing the other person very well, and that you will learn things you hadn't known. You may find that during this "vacation" where the 4.1 "fetters" have been removed you will have an opportunity to see how he is when there are no hard and fast rules. So you may discover things about him that simply had never come up before - and thus you find out he loves something you find boring or vice versa. 4.4 sounds like it is a good thing to have this visit as there are things you will learn about each other that you simply could not learn any other way.
38. Opposition suggests that you will discover there are some areas where you have totally opposite points of view. How you decide to cope with these differences will be important for the future of the friendship.

It reads to me that the I Ching is suggesting you and your friend may be going into this visit with very different agendas. Maybe just simple stuff like he wanting seafood and you wanting salad, but somehow it sounds like you'll be learning to recognize and deal with your differences - you are being encouraged to not be agreeable just to get along, but to learn how to be agreeable without giving up your point of view..

What you can expect and where is it headed?
20.1.2.6
Encourages having the attitude that for right now you are simply interested in getting to know him better. The more varied experiences you can have the better.
60. Ultimately you will find that the friendship finds it's comfort zone. Traveling the world together (hex. 20) will either lead you to feel you are a very effective team, or you may come to feel things have gone as far as they can go and you simply don't care to go any further. Either way it's positive encouragement for continuing.

What if I continue to explore this relationship?
6.2.4 > 20.
hex. 6 sounds like there is some basic inequality here. Like maybe one of you is not as sincere as the other. 20 sounds like the truth comes out. Perhaps one of you wants more of a commitment than just "exploring" to continue putting time into this. Still, it reads to me as though staying neutral and exploring is a good thing - you ultimately see the big picture - 20.

Should I continue to stay with this relationship?
17.3 > 3
Hex. 3 seems to be mirroring your uncertainty. You are attracted to this man but not sure if that is such a good thing. Your other answers suggest that as you get to know this person you will be able to make clear conscious decisions, and not feel like you are just guessing. Therefor I see 17.3 > 3 as encouraging you to stay with the relationship a bit longer. See if those things which make you feel uneasy are all that important. I think it is telling you you are not in a committed relationship yet anyway.

What if I continue to stay and work on this?
47.4.5 > 4

Oppression > Folly

As I go over these hexagrams the pattern I see is one of the I Ching telling you you and this man have some pretty difficult differences (38) although they can be handled if you are both dedicated to having a partnership. However, it seems you don't really know each other well enough to really know what all those differences are. So you are being advised to get to know him better, go places, do things, see how you feel at the end of the day. You shouldn't have to "work" on a relationship so early in the game! Take it lightly. You may find you out grow him or you may find you have discovered the love of your life. The key idea is to get to know him better (and thus how to handle differences).

Thank you Rosada & Frank. That helps so much. In my heart I feel still drawn to "staying open" to possibilities. In a way - I know the universe has given me exactly what I've asked for (either directly or indirectly) - because of when faced with challenges, I have stepped up to the plate and communicated (instead of the old M.O. of "oh well, F*ck it, this wouldn't work anyhow and just leave" (lol)

Thank you again ... now taking it lightly!!

Beth

Hi Beth,

I noticed that all of your questions were about the relationship... none of them were about you.

- What should I know about having a relationship in my life now
- What do I have to contribute to a relationship
- What should I look for in a healthy relationship partner
- How do I make wise choices about apparent "red flags" in relationships

These kinds of questions help you make better choices, without having to interpret answers about Tom.

Would you like to ask the oracle some things like this?

Ben .. wow, thanks! Yes, directing back to me is the key. Thank you for that reminder! I know it is all just a reflection of my inner world anyway (but how we forget!) .. After posting yesterday - did some ho'oponopono around the feelings that came up regarding the "uncertainty" and knowing he (& the relationship) is just reflecting uncertainty that lies within. I felt the shift within yesterday morning and realized this is someone that I do want to get to know and I don't have to decide today. AND I thank everyone for their imput .. confirmed the feeling that "for now" stay open to possibilities and flow with it.

Now going to ask "I" questions about "me" in a relationship
Namaste -
Beth :bows:

Beth,

From the outside it's pretty easy to spot a bunch of "relationship" or "other person" questions that take away from a person's own connection with their best self. But I've been in that spiral myself where it's easy to forget that "what about me?" question!

"ho'oponopono"

What's that?

Ben .. sorry I haven't been on for a couple days to answer your question. Ho'oponopono is an aspect of ancient Huna healing. It is believed that everything we experience is coming from within ourselves and we actually contribute and have created whatever we are experiencing. In this situation I am experiencing w/Tom .. he was showing me what I need to love and forgive within myself. (conflict around love, connection, relationships, etc). There is a simple mantra of - I love you, I am sorry, Please forgive me, Thank you. I've seen some powerful shifts in relationships w/others and in situations, by taking the responsibility of healing myself. Joe Vitale talks about the basics of Ho'oponopono is his new book, Zero Limits. Great read.

sorry I haven't been on for a couple days to answer your question

Click to expand...

Actually I think it's good to celebrate that you have a life outside of this web site!

I found the article on Joe's site. Those ideas look challenging, but also inspiring. Thanks for helping to expand my vocabulary.

Yours in that beautiful Hawaiian stuff I can't spell...