this comes from an issue i broached as a reply to 49.3,4,5 to 24 (http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showthread.php?t=5325)

but since I feel it is of a more general interest I thought I'd start a new thread about it . .

rodaki

Hi Rodaki,

The way i see it, 49 does not specifically speak about the actual practical
difference in years. And i really don't believe that age difference is a
problem in itself. It becomes a problem, if it bothers one or two of the
two people involved - but then again, this is the case with a million other
things. Everyone has their own 'deal-breakers'. For me actual age is not one
of them, but for other people it might be. And it's not true that it's different
for guys. I've seen loads and loads of cases where the guy is much younger,
and couldn't care less that the woman is 7, 8, or even 12 or more years
older! If one of the two partners sees this as a big problem, then yes, then
it is a problem. And the 'issue' of 'age difference' is also one of the most
common excuses used when someone doesn't really want to be with someone
else. (may i also note here that a few girls i know as well, used to be adamant
that they would never fancy a younger guy, and would never even 'go there',
but at some point they meet a great younger guy, and funnily their previous
adamant beliefs mysteriously go out of the window in an instant!)

We can't really generalise here, and say 'oh yes, age difference is a massive
problem for everyone, and no-one should even go there, and 49 confirms this'.
That would be just too far-fetched.

In 49 we've got lake and fire. These are two opposing forces. In the case of
38, we've got the same two trigrams, but there they decide to go each their
own way, to part and head towards different directions. Here, they stay
together, and just battle each other, 'each trying to destroy the other'. There
is clearly the idea here of two opposing and different tendencies. There is
friction between two things/situations/people.
49's idea is to create a revolution in order to stop this friction.

Another aspect of 49 is the calendar, the idea that at different times of
our lives we have different needs. Again, although there are some general
tendencies as to what these things are (eg a lot of people party in their
20s, and settle down in their 30s) - but these are hardly the overwhelming
norm. If we realistically look around us, this is a commonplace belief, but
in reality a lot of young people in their 20s just struggle with survival, to
complete studies, to find a job, etc (and party in their 30s). Or people who
feel compelled to marry young, they do, have children, divorce at 40, and
decide to party then (the 2 main paths for a human being - settle or party lol).
There are countless scenarios - have a look at the lives of people you know
personally, and you'll see that the common belief of 20s-explore and 30s-settle
is actually a minority. I've met people who behave like teenagers still at 40,
and 20-something people possessing amazing maturity. Maturity is not age
specific, but individual specific. And what we need at a given point in our
lives, is again not age specific, but individual specific.

To your specific question and answer:
"Tell me something I need to know about him being younger than me"
49.4.5 to 36

49 - there are two battling opposing forces. You need a revolution to stop
this battle. Consider your own needs, at this specific moment in your life.
49:4 - change the government/mandate/ordinance. Perhaps change this belief
or question. Change what governs the whole situation. Who is in control.
Overthrow the government, ie, completely turn this around. You said he's with
someone else. Well, you should be looking at that, not at the age difference,
which seems to be totally irrelevant in this case.
49:5 - the brand new belief that is to take over is so obvious and clear, that
you do not even need to ask the oracle (again i get the impression that it's
his unavailability).
36 - Beliefs and control are one thing, and feelings are another. Sadly, logical
thinking has no effect on our hearts. You feel hurt by all this - even if the
'battle' and unrest end, and you've got new clear guidelines, you still feel hurt.
Protect your light. Look after yourself. Hide your light and do your best to
protect yourself.

Hope you find these thoughts helpful!

hi Diamanda,

and thnx for your reply!
Yes, things are more or less the way you 've phrased them, and age is partly the last drop here, I 'm not denying that . .
This is why I also find the answer I got quite straightforward, no big mystery hovering over i-ching's reply here
I did post however because I was surprised by seeing the same answer given to a very similar question, which made me wonder if hex. 49 is making a more general remark about time passing (age) and the way it affects us (which of course depends on our treatment of it, but I thought that there might be sth more there . .)
I am not very well versed in various commentaries/translations so maybe someone else could see if there is indeed such a tendency in 49. It's most probable that my idea was way off mark, even though you did mention the idea of the calendar as an aspect here . .
Thank you for your reply and kind words

rodaki

"I did post however because I was surprised by seeing the same answer given to
a very similar question"

If you think about it, the age difference in both cases, is the surface similarity.
The essential similarity in both cases, is that the person who asks the oracle has
got the whole issue wrong. In both these cases, the essential problem is not the
age difference, and thus the person who asks needs a revolution to completely
change the way they see things.

In your case, you wondered about the age difference, while knowing that the essential
problem is actually not that, but that the guy is not available.

In the case of the other poster, she wondered about the age difference, while closing
her eyes to the fact that despite two years of attraction between them, there was
still no relationship appearing anywhere (this despite the fact he didn't even know
about the age difference yet). In her case, 49:3 showed her the problem. Talks had
gone around 3 times, and the guy still wouldn't commit. Then all of a sudden, and
after two years of that, he found out that she was 7 years older, and that suddenly
really bothered him..!?! errmm... what can one say.

Mmmm, yes, now I see more clearly what you mean . .
Thnx for pointing this out . .
I'm taking a step back now to prepare the overthrowing of perspective

:bows:

rodaki

What an interesting thread.

I think it is saying more about being unavailable or the timing of things too rather than the actual age differences.

I dated someone who was 18 years younger. We were just on different pages. Someone my age could have been on a different page too so it really isn't the age.