Hi

I'm new to this forum, and new to the I-Ching. I took interest in it a while back after watching a documentary about the Mayan Calendar and the I-Ching. I was amazed at its accuracy and how people today still use it with incredible accuracy.

I was so glad to find this forum. I've been reading older posts to try to understand some of the readings I've been getting, and its helped somewhat, but I'm hoping to get some input on interpretations from the members here that will be more specific to my situation.

I was involved with this man, undoubtedly immature and a few majors issues, but I guess sometimes we can't help who we fall in love with. After a few months of seeng eachother, I discovered he was being deceiptful, and I broke it off. Over the next few months, he kept contacting me every 2 of weeks telling me how much he missed me, how he kicked himself for ruining things, and how he thought of me every day. But every time I responded, I would get no reponse back, which hurt and made me feel that he was being gamey. But I never made first contact. This went on for about 3 months, when he finally responded in a big way...telling me all the things had said before, only this time he told me that he was in trouble and would be going to jail for a while but when he got out he wanted to make a new start with me, that I had been something good in his life.

I've consulted the I-Ching several times, but there are a few readings that I don't understand how to interpret. If I could get your opinions on what you think it could mean, it would mean a lot to me. I hope I type these correctly from what I've picked up from here so far.

1. What does X feel about me? 17.1.3 > 31

2. What will happen between he and I? 20.4 >12

3. What are X's plans regarding he and I? 21.3 >30

4. What can I expect regarding X persuing a relationship with me? 33.2 > 44

The very first casting I did I asked if X was planning on contacting me again, and I got 51, but I didn't keep that paper and can't remember if there were any changing lines, all in all, I've gotten alot of 51's and 17's with other questions.

Thank you all so much for any help you can give me.

1. What does X feel about me? 17.1.3 > 31

It would appear that the guy certainly does have feelings for you, it would seem that he needs you, as you have that air of responsibility that he is currently lacking, there is a depth of feeling here.

2. What will happen between he and I? 20.4 >12

I don't think very much will happen between the two of you, the answer does not suggests that there will be any intimacy between you, in fact hex 12 seems to suggest that you will be separated from him. Will he still be in jail, or will he be out and back again?

3. What are X's plans regarding he and I? 21.3 >30

It would seem that he will continue to have problems with the law as his past appears to be very chequered making it difficult for him to carry on a proper relationship but I don't think that he is going to forget about you, as you appear to be quite important to him.

4. What can I expect regarding X persuing a relationship with me? 33.2 > 44

The line here sums it up nicely, you will be unable to tear him lose, hex 30 also suggests that he will cling to you as this line does.

Thank you, willowfox. I really appreciate your insight.

He's currently in jail now, so I'm wondering...do the I-Ching readings pertain to the immediate future, or is this pretty much it for me and him for good? Also, If nothing will happen between us, and I'll be separated from him, how will I not be able to tear him loose, and how could he cling to me?

I realize these might sound like silly questions, I hope they're not, though, because I really am trying to gain a complete understanding.

Even a prisoner will cling to something or someone, even if they are physically separated. Distance is not a barrier especially for people in jail, this guy will long for his freedom and to be with you but how he acts when he comes out will be a different matter, perhaps he will be just to immature or wild to make a happy and solid relationship with you. Is he in there for petty type crimes and does he have a history of criminality?

He has a bit of a history. He's in there now for things he did that violated his parole. He wants a different lifestyle than that, I believe he wants to have a normal life, but I think he couldn't resist the temptations of the smaller things, which inevidibly led to bigger things.

Could he genuinely feel about me the way the I-Ching suggests, or that he feels that way only because he is confined and when he gets out he will no longer feel that way?

update: I asked this question to the I-Ching and received this answer:

1. How will X feel about me when he gets out and has his freedom? 11.1.2.4.5.6 > 33

Warning: unconventional interpretation!

By the time he gets out the questions that you have now will probably be irrelevant. Everything will be different and that includes you, you will be different.

This is what hexagram 11 often indicates in my experience, not 'peace' but a complete change. It's like the universe flushes everything through its huge toilet and starts again from scrap. Reboot!
It is related to 'peace' though, because if you know that a reboot is coming and that nearly everything that you think or worry about now will be flushed through that big toilet, and if you realize that there is no way to know how life will be after the reboot, because everything will be different, including you - then you can stop thinking about the future and you will finally have peace of mind.

Possible scenario (just as an illustration, I'm not saying that this will happen): When he gets out you are no longer interested in him or his feelings for you, because you are deeply involved with somebody else.

Thank you, Martin.

I'll be honest, I have a great ambivalence about this situation. I feel very much in love with him, but part of me wants nothing more than to have him go away from my life completely, and part of me wants nothing more than to be with him.

He's been away now for 3 1/3 months, and I still feel the love for him that I did before, so I can't imagine that I would stop feeling this way a...week, a month, 6 months...from now. So by this, I would have to assume the change and no longer feeling or caring would be on his part. So when I ask the I-Ching how will he feel about me when he gets out, I suppose it will be him that will no longer care about me or how I feel and will be the one to be deeply involved with someone else, which tears me apart.

ddely said:

He's been away now for 3 1/3 months, and I still feel the love for him that I did before, so I can't imagine that I would stop feeling this way a...week, a month, 6 months...from now.

Click to expand...

Well, a lot can happen in 6 months. And I mentioned only one scenario, it's also possible that you will both feel for each other when he is released.
Of course you would like to have more certainty about this, which is understandable (I have been there) but what I hear in hexagram 11 is that it's better not to think and worry too much about possible futures now. For the reasons that I mentioned in my other post.

But I believe that an attitude of 'we will see' is appropriate anyway in a situation like this, regardless of hexagram 11 and my (somewhat unconventional) interpretation of your reading.
On the other hand, to stop thinking about it is easier said than done, I have been there too!

1. How will X feel about me when he gets out and has his freedom? 11.1.2.4.5.6 > 33

The lines show that when he gets out he will be quite okay and friendly etc in the beginning but give him more time and you will see the deterioration in the relationship quite clearly which will finally lead to him going off someplace. It will not last as his feelings will only be temporary, once the novelty has worn off and he finds his feet, so will he be off.

See, the Yi is too difficult for humans. Now we have 3 very different interpretations of one reading.

Thank you all very much.

I've interpreted many scenarios from my readings, too. I just don't know how to determine which is the correct one for my situation, which leaves me feeling just as confused, if not a bit more so, as I was before I began.

I know there are some situations where the reading just "fits", and you know its correct....and all of you have given interpretations that make sense when I consider the person I am, the person he is, and our history together.....but what if many interpretations fit, how do you then know which is correct one?

I did ask the I-Ching at one point, after asking about his plans regarding he and I, to please help me understand better by clarifying it for me and I got 51.1 > 16.

What are your thoughts on this hexagram and how to determine the correct interpretation?

I don't know what to say, diamanda...other than thank you. I read your response earlier and broke down as I was reading it because it really hit home. I took a few hours to contemplate it (and have a good cry), came back and read it again and can only say that I'm not only amazed how the I-Ching really gave me insight and answers so specific to this, but I'm also grateful that I found this board and the help I've received in understanding these interpretations. I think for the first time in a very long time my confusion has gone.

He and I are from completely different worlds, and not only do I not understand his, but I can't live like that. I feel that I have a better understanding, even though I don't feel any better emotionally right now...I feel like I'm grieving all over again, but I know what I need to do now, I need to be strong and resist any temptation to respond to him when he contacts me...retreat as the I-Ching says, because its true, I have no peace. Whether or not I can be strong enough to follow through with this is another matter, but I'm certainly going to try.

Again, thank you so much to all of you who have lended me your insight and time.

I did ask the I-Ching at one point, after asking about his plans regarding he and I, to please help me understand better by clarifying it for me and I got 51.1 > 16.

It may mean that once you hear what he has to say about his continuation of the relationship, you will be quite surprised/shocked and you my well feel quite hurt but give it a few days/week then you will get over it and see it as a fortunate thing to happen under the circumstances that you will find yourself in at that future time. Then life goes on with you in it.