Hi Everyone,

It's been awhile since I have been online here. Alot has happened since I was last here. Got back together with an ex (NOT the married guy), was pregnant but had a miscarriage.

After that I just withdrew from all the drama and started focusing on work and my son even more. As well as focusing on spiritual and personal growth.

So recently I started to date again. I met a man who on first glance has alot in common with me. We read the same books, view the world pretty much in the same light and have similar goals in mind.

But for some reason I am feeling very alarmed by his intensity towards me. It's like alarm bells are going off. We have only had four dates but he seems so into me so fast that I am getting scared off.

I also notice things that concern me. He has a good job but I fear that he may be too impulsive with money and decisions in life. For example, he accidently bought two cars (signed a contract for both) so he has to put one up for sell before it's even arrived.

He wants to buy a farm in Scottland (his home) but his plan sounds really unwise to me. He doesn't have the cash on hand for the down payment so he and a friend want to work something out so that the friend provides cash up front for a piece of the land and he will use that as the downpayment.

He won't generate and profit from the farm so it's just going to be a huge mortgage and he won't even be living on it (we live in Germany).

His plan seems impulsive to me.

He hasn't spoke to his own mother more than twice in 18 years. That alarms me as well. Even if she is as selfish as he says, it concerns me.

On our fourth date (last night) he brought me a small gift bag instead of a rose. In it was over 100€ worth of gifts. That is very kind but it seemed too much for the fourth date.

On the other hand, we have alot in common. But I am just alarmed and can't say what is scaring me.

I myself have fallen in love at first site before and I have felt intense towards a man or two in my time

So why am I alarmed?

I have considered that maybe I am just scared of anyone that could be good for me so I am looking for something wrong with him. I just don't know!!!

So I asked the IC today:

"Tell me what I need to know about X"

it answered 42 Increase, unchanging

Then I asked, "please clarify that answer"

And it answered, 54.4 The Marrying Maiden

The Maiden draws out the alotted time and a late marriage comes in due course (am quoting loosely)

I then asked:

should I develop a romantic relationship with X or back off now?

And I got 51 Shock

The line was 3 and 5

ix in the third place means:

Shock comes and makes one distraught.

If shock spurs to action

One remains free of misfortune.

Six in the fifth place means:

Shock goes hither and thither.

Danger.

However, nothing at all is lost.

Yet there are things to be done.

When I asked, "Is X going to be responsible with money and job?"

I got Youthful Folly, unchanging..of course.

I could really use some clarity here. Either my subconscious is warning me, OR I just have an issue with being with good men and run away from them (it might be a combination of both)

I can not help you with the I ching query but I am intrigued how this interprets.
I have a guy who seems very keen but I feel the same as yourself, very wary if someone comes on strong.
All the best x

Hi there,

Readings apart, i can see what is scaring you about this guy. The way someone
behaves with their money and their resources is a clear indication of what sort
of survival skills one has. And this is a very very basic component of human
nature, actually it's the most important component of human nature, survival
itself. So, since he seems to have no logic or common sense or seriousness
about this very basic thing, no wonder you are having serious questions about
this man... he sounds as if he doesn't know what he's doing with that basic
domain, and so, this is a serious question mark as to what is he going to do
with secondary domains of his life then? I think your worries are totally justified.

In a similar manner, you see him being as impulsive with you, as he is with his
resources... The analogy comes to mind, if he's so volatile with his resources,
and so enthusiastic, without thinking, and switching from one thing to another
without second thought, of course there's great possibility he'll do the same
with you once he finds another exciting new toy, project, whatever. Im not
saying this will happen, only that i understand where your worries come from.
Similar with that bizarre gift he gave you - if he can spend a small fortune on
a farm in Scotland where he does not intend to live, the analogy again comes
to mind that spending a small fortune on you might not mean that he's truly
interested, only that he is crazy with spending money.

From your readings, there sounds to be potential in this relationship, but
also lots of shock, which, however, will not harm you greatly. As about his
attitude to money, i don't think it will change, which makes sense, if he's
over 17 and he's still so immature, well, the outlook on the money front
doesn't look good, im sorry to say.

often the i ching confirms my intuition

My intuition never lies. The challenge for me is going with it when it tells me what another part of my psyche doesn't want to hear.

When intuition has spoken, reason often comes in to rationalize it away.

I find that the I Ching is a marvelous tool for simply getting me in touch with what my intuitive faculty already knows.

If I am scared, or apprehensive, there's a reason for it. Sometimes it has been better for me to be alone, without a partner. I need time, esp. after a breakup, to regain emotional stability and sobriety.

Best of luck to you

Eric Bryant
Philosophical Practitioner
Greater NY area