Hello

In the past two days I have had this reading twice, regarding two different people. I aksed what was between us, as I feel an unspoken connection to these people and find them interesting, and kind of have feelings for them too.. but there is also something missing, something that makes for uncomfortable communication sometimes, and some sort of barrier against intimacy... perhaps it's just because of difference?

What is 14.3 saying or advising about these people?

Is it saying there is something good that just isn't being shared for some reason?
And 38.3 saying there are misunderstandings but ultimately they don't really matter?

Any input of experience with this line or clearer more useful interpretations than the one I can manage would be much appreciated!

:bows:

Hi Em,

I agree with your interpretation. I think that these people are misunderstanding you, whether that's because they can't understand because they just don't "get" you or there is an underlying misrepresentation of either you or them? Or else as you said, perhaps there is a connection but a basic opposition of natures, which creates the misunderstanding? Do you feel insecure or afraid for some reason around these people? Are you afraid to let them see the "real" you? Would there be any reason they might have fears of their own in regards to the connection they feel with you? Does the connection you feel with them create some type of fear in you? It seems to me that people respond so differently to fear(s) and there are major differences in how these variations are interpreted from a person's personality. I believe this (underlying fears) creates a common source of misunderstanding between many people.

I've just begun trying to look into others' readings to see what I hear from them. I'm not confident in this, as for now, I just look at the hex's and lines and if I get a gut feeling that comes from them, then I respond. So, if this is just "out there" and doesn't make any sense to you in regards to the situation, please accept my apology.
~Namaste~:bows:

they can't understand because they just don't "get" you or there is an underlying misrepresentation of either you or them? Or else as you said, perhaps there is a connection but a basic opposition of natures, which creates the misunderstanding? Do you feel insecure or afraid for some reason around these people? Are you afraid to let them see the "real" you? [/I]

Yes both of them make me feel insecure. They wake me up and are stimulating, but as a result I feel that I want everything I say to be clever and fantastic Which means I have moments where I feel stifled with them, probably buckling under perceived pressure to perform... I guess I don't want to lose their interest or respect.. but then again, I think because there is some sort of connection, ideas pop into my mind from their presence etc which leads to good communication.. but yes, afraid for them to see the 'real' me.. or me not being good enough (tsk which I could change that broken record in my head!)

Would there be any reason they might have fears of their own in regards to the connection they feel with you? Does the connection you feel with them create some type of fear in you?

Yes I suppose it makes me nervous, for the same reasons - I guess I want to impress them when I see them, and enjoy having them near... I don't know what fear they'd have with me - perhaps just that our different natures make them feel threatened or insecure, or something... or else awkward

if I get a gut feeling that comes from them, then I respond. So, if this is just "out there" and doesn't make any sense to you in regards to the situation, please accept my apology.
~Namaste~

No apology needed that was really helpful and has made me think practically about it... Thank you!!

Re one of them, a while ago I asked Why, when we meet in person do I feel inadequate and slightly inhibited? (when we first met I felt at ease and the words flowed but then as I grew attracted, this problem cropped up...I guess from nervousness...)

Answer 27.5 > 42

Amazingly relevant!! Wilhelm 27.5:
"A man may be conscious of a deficiency in himself. He should be undertaking the nourishment of the people (i.e. talking like I wish I could do more freely sometimes!!), but he has not the strength to do it."

Lise: "Do things YOUR way, not like they 'ought' to be done. Accept no borders to your imagination. "

I suppose it's saying here, don't feel the pressure and the words will come...
Easier said than done though

Anything else here you think I should be aware of especially with 14.3.

Thanks :bows:

Forgot to look at Lise for this one!

Give in a way that accords with your ability to give. Too much and too little are both wrong. But make your gift warm and sincere, don’t use it for showing how great you are yourself. It is not the gift, which matters, it is the mind of the giver. A great mind gives a worthy sacrifice, a small mind cannot give, no matter how much he presents.

Is this saying I shouldn't force relationships with people who are too different from me at the end of the day??
Or that in my relation with these people I shouldn't expect too much because of the differences? But to continue trying to relate however I can...

A great mind gives a worthy sacrifice, a small mind cannot give, no matter how much he presents.[/I]

Could this be talking about their inability to give in the relationship, or mine? It's frustrating because on some levels, the connection I feel runs quite deep.. just not on the everyday stuff so much..

"What is 14.3 saying or advising about these people?"

For a lot of us, it is often better that the I Ching is appealing to our own negativity, rather than someone elses. The answers are counsel to us. They are not necessarily, or only, a description of someone else's attitude in a given situation, although that can be described too. We need to look at the I Ching as a spiritual growth message rather than an encyclopedia. I am not trying to be critical here. It is natural and very understandable to do this, and sometimes we do need it, but as a gerneral rule, we should look for commentary on our own psychological makeup, more than someone else's.

The commentary says, "A magnanimous, liberal minded man should not regard his possessions as his own..." Here we must learn to be magnanimous, and accepting of all individuals regardless of their foibles or "pettiness." The key is how we react, not how someone else acts or reacts. That does not mean we allow ourselves to be used or made light of, but it is an indication we need to learn to maintain our inner dignity without judging the other person too harshly.

Gene

While totally agreeing with Gene's comment that "we need to learn to maintain
our inner dignity without judging the other person too harshly" (very true, we do
need to accept that people are who they are), this very line makes an extremely
clear distinction between people who can and do give, from the heart, and people
who cannot do that. "Petty" people - not necessarily 'bad' people, but people who
are lower and needier, and thus grasp every tiny morsel for themselves, and
keep hold of it, and just want to greedily take. The bigger person (the 'prince')
offers whatever he/she has, every tiny bit of blessing is to be shared, and that
makes the joy even larger. A 'petty' person cannot do that.

Em the message here for you i think is, yes, you have a great heart, and you do
love to give and share your gifts - but be aware that not all people are like this.
There are also those who just want to grasp and hoard and give nothing back.
In my opinion, see also 35:4, the dreaded hamster! 38 is also another very clear
indication that you and those people are fundamentally different - not saying here
that they are bad and you are good - perhaps you are just luckier. I know it doesn't
feel that way.... but i truly think you are.

I'll agree with Gene's words once more, indeed, we need to understand 'petty' people,
not be too harsh - i would just add that we need to be careful what to do with our
treasures. It's fine to "give them to heaven", because we know heaven is a gorgeous
notion, full of light - but give them to petty people...? that would be a tad too unfair
perhaps? Except if we do it in full knowledge that we can't expect anything, anything
in return. All good then!

Thanks Gene - yes it is something I'm never sure of, whether the Yi is capable of addressing another person's standpoint - or if it is always asking you to look at yourself. But when asking about others - the answers always do seem relevant to that person and their situations... Hmm, perhaps it's what we subconsciously know about them already?

Thanks Diamanda - again very true. With that guy recently (you know full well who) I, have given a lot of my time and attention, and if I'm honest, without much of an acknowledgement (making me wonder whether there's even friendship there... but then maybe that's just the way he is and I should accept that (as described by the reading) or should I stop (otherwise how would he ever realise he is essentially being ungrateful - but then parhaps I expect too much - more than I would a normal friend...)
I have given, because I feel a connection to him, as he stimulates things I'm also interested in and I feel like I want to help him. But then, maybe there is a danger if he is not grateful... perhaps he does not take as much from me as I thought? Or it makes him uncomfortable somehow??

I do feel, finally, detached from my hopes about him, I gave one last bit, under the mindset : 'I am going to give selflessly and not expect a return' But I'd be lying if this hasn't brought me down and made me wonder my words just fall on deaf ears with him now for some reason.. I did feel a bit shocked with this realisation that perhaps he isn't even close, to who I thought he was.

I asked the Yi :
How do I view this whole saga?

51.1,3 > 62
51.1 > When the ordeal is over he experiences relief and thus the very terror he had to endure at the outself brings good fortune in the long run
(I feel the turmoil in my heart has settled at least)

51.3 > If he allows the shocks of fate to induce movement within his mind he will overcome external blows
(It has been a let down, but obviously a learning experience and inspiring in some ways)

62 > Now I need to take steps towards getting over the idea I guess...

However, because I feel inside that there is something there to be nurtured (though of course all the balls that could exist are now in his court lol, and it would be up to him to realise my worth.. if I have any to him.. I asked;
Will he have any value in my life? (As in will there be a friendship of give and take ultimately)

38.5 > 10

Seems to highlight the difference between us (which perhaps he feels more keenly hence the silence now? But also 'bites his way through the wrappings that are causing the seperation' Which seems to speak of continuing.. But how can it happen if he can't be bothered??

Lise: "Often it is scary to take the first step towards people. Most people don't even conceive the idea, they see differences as obstacles instead of appreciating. Once the contact is made the reward is usually great. But the greatest profit is having the guts to do it."

Could this be relating to what you said Diamanda, about him being unable to give? Because I know, for all the effort I have made, it would definitely be on him, to maintain something. Which makes me sad and doubtful

Do you think 38.5 is just illustrating the effort it would require to maintain? Does it suggest the onus is on me to continue biting at the 'wrappings'? Or that it's his turn.. and if he does, then it will have value? I suppose I just feel I relate to him in an important way which I don't want to lose, but there's only so much I can do

It's frustrating that I seem to go for the emotionally unavailable people to give my 'treasures' to, but there is no one else at the mo that I could give these particular treasures to... though maybe he just doesn't see them as 'treasures'

Phew ?

:bows: