Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
I think you need to ask yourself whether you want to patch things and make up just to see yourself in a good light again or because an inner sense of fairness urges you to admit your mistakes and rectify what went awry . .
you can stand on your own feet and walk your walk (22.1). This will help you look at things at your own pace and recognize what you bring on the table clear and simple.
That is exactly my conflict It's just, whether he cares or not... I could not say at all...
alienation between 2 people is generally not one sided.
You are choosing to see, not only here but elsewhere, in other readigns over the years, that you are the one who does something wrong to drive the other away. This is a story you torture yourself with seems to me. I don't really see this here.
the 41>22 seems to me to ask you again to lighten up (22) decrease passions (41) if you want to send the email you could i don't think it will have a huge impact on you either way.
After that i think you should go and buy something pretty or sensuous or fun..and stop giving yourself a hard time...oops hope that dosn't sound too trivialising...but maybe a bit of trivialising is what you need eh...
Em, people need room to feel free to come to you on their terms, not when you want them to. You have to stand on your own, and then others will come to you.
ok, take a long hard look at this . . is this what this is all about? what does he make of you? -or what do you make of yourself?
Yes - maybe it is the fact that I know I've made a mistake, but a kind word from him, would make me feel better about myself. And him treating me with worth, would make me believe I have it.
:bows:
Ok, I asked:
If I do nothing, What will happen?
46.1,3,6 > 41
So then I asked, What will happen if I explain/apologise?
41.6 > 19
46.1,3,6>41 . . this looks like you will be pushing upwards, at times with confidence, at times with apprehension . . being mindful of your own strength and gentle with your efforts . . leaving on your way some things behind . . extra baggage will have to be dropped (could be the specific person or the need that weighs you down, or you know better what lies heavy on you . .). 46 always gave me the impression of some slow and strenuous work that makes you stronger . . not rosy, but rewarding
41.6>19 . . emphasis on rights because you seem to focus mostly on offering apologies rather than setting the record straight
Dora
Can't get my head around 41.6 either -
Lise's interpretation: Above 9: Not diminishing, increasing it. Without fault. Determination auspicious. Harvest: proceeding probing. Acquiring servants, without family.
A soul in which diminishing and augmenting do not exist, has no ego. He can find his road simply by walking it. He will find servants without offering them a place to live because being close to a soul like this has more value than anything else. He needs no home, he is a home.
That's pretty funny he's used the word probing... It's the 'Aquiring servants without family' bit that I don't get...
Has anyone had any experience with this line?
Nigel Richmond says: 'Accepting the inner meaning of failure of expectation' but also to be 'part of the life force' to 'find a following'...
My life force seems to want to get this out, admit my mistake - but that could be my lack of sense in the emotional realm especially if he would rather not hear any more about it... I don't even particulary want his attention now - I'm pretty much resigned to it being over, but I just want to acknowledge why it happened and that I am sorry.. but also not to be subservient because he is no angel.
If anyone has any clearer knowledge of this line it'd be great to hear
Thanks
Okay re 41.6 I think the idea one has no home because one becomes ones own home as Lise said is very resonant..not always easy to apply to your reading....but to me its like for example being a traveller with no home, nothing to your name yet wherever you go you find a friend, a helper, what you need at that particular time. This gives you more freedom and security than you can ever imagine and yet paradoxically one has no visible tangible or permanent base of security.
I think its very much around times where you look at your life and think 'hell i have nothing, i decreased so much i have nothing, i have no real base, no close connections, no money" in the eyes of the world you might look like you are in a sorry state but actually you aren't at all. Your needs are met as they arise, i think this is what the "aquiring servants, without family" 'finding many friends' is about ..where you travel you find the support you need. I say travel because there is a sense of travel with this line., though not necessarily physical travel, just transitional states. Hilary says 41.6 isn't about a final arrival somewhere..its about movement, finding what you need as you go. I like this line theres much freedom in it
Hmm imagine how free you would be on an inner level if you truly understood you did not need any one particular person or set of set of circumstances to be happy..that your happiness is not bound to this man or your apologising or not apologising..hmm but your question was 'what if i apologise'..well are you asking how he will react ? I think the answer goes beyond your question. if you truly feel you did a bad thing to him then of course apologise, infact if you really owed him an apology i don't think you'd have any hesitation about doing it..what you are really asking is how you might impact on him...this doesn't really have anything to do with a true need to aplogise for doing something harmful. I think I'm just repeating what someone else said earlier actually.
Hmm anyway you ask 'if i do nothing what will happen 46>41. To me this 46.6 particulary speaks of maintaining trust even when you can't see where you are going. I think if you do nothing you will need to develop a bit of trust and faith in the way things work out...you can't control how people feel about you, you can't always hold on to them when you want to, you have to have some faith that if an affinity exists between you it will remain.
So actually i still think what i thought about 20 posts ago..this isn't about you apologising or not apologising. You will know surely if you did such a bad thing you must apologise...but how can you really apologise just for being who you are, a little needy, you didn't try to hurt him or cause him pain did you. If you want to let him know how much you valued the relationship there can be no harm in that..how that will impact on the relationship who knows. i think your job is getting to really understand your well being doesn't rest with him, making yourself the one in the wrong all the time doesn't help..you have to see this is a pattern by now Em..? if you look back at all the threads where you berate yourself for not living up to others expectations you'll see a clear pattern going on there. LOL well I guess we all have those !
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).