A few months ago, I befriended a man who is very similar to myself. So similar to me, that elements in our history or the ways we are make me feel as though I'm looking into a mirror at times. I realize that this relationship with him has a much higher purpose than your run of the mill infatuation. I have grown and learned so much about myself by seeing my behavior reflected back at me through this man, Terry. I have been awakened and as a result, have begun the healing process in many different aspects of my life. For this, I'll be eternally grateful for our paths to have crossed. In my elementary understanding of the IC, it appears as though from my castings that it is telling/showing me this undeniable fact that the relationship is to help me heal and find joy and love within myself.

As both of us have had long-term serious relationships that resulted in our "other half" cheating, behaviors and relating to each other at times is a bit dysfunctional. We are both afraid of getting too close to someone and experiencing that level of pain once again. About a month ago, Terry decided to distance himself from me (the conversation was odd, but understandable in light of this fear of intimacy). However, since then, we've talked and texted each other and it's still apparent the spark is still there on both sides of the conversation. I'm more reserved and find myself keeping my feelings a little more to myself (thanks to the IC recommending I do so and after the decision was made to take some space from one another).

I believe we're both working through our individual paths to healing, and in my case, I feel stronger now than I have in years. In addition to working through the past relationship issues, I am working through things that have plagued me my entire adult life (thanks Mom and Dad for teaching me how to be just as messed up as you). I am healthier, but know I still have a way to go on this journey. However, at this point, I think that I could be ready to stand beside someone on their path and walk together to find that healthy place to enjoy one another in a relationship.

I don't know if that person to join me is Terry, but I thought I'd see if it is a possibility. Here are a few castings - I'd love to know your interpretations.

What is our long term potential? 8 unchanging

Will we restart our relationship in April? 50.1 > 14

What romantic actions can I expect next from him? 41.5 > 61

Are both of us making positive changes in our lives that will bring us together? 22.1.6 > 15

As both of us met via an internet dating site and we both have profiles on various dating sites. I recently noticed after the times we've communicated in the past two weeks that Terry started "taking down" or hiding his profiles, one at a time. So, I asked "Why is he hiding his profiles?" and received Hex. 20, unchanging.

Seeing what I perceived as a positive sign, I went for broke and asked a silly question. "Will Terry and I restart things by this weekend?" There is an event that could potentially bring us together, so I thought, "why not?" I received 31.2.3.5 > 64.

In a nutshell, I see advice to stay cool as he is evaluating things (hex 20) and that we are making progress in our individual lives (22.1.6 > 15) that could bring us closer to one another. I also see that he's attracted (hex 61) and there is a potential for long term (hex's 8 and 31.2.3.5). Am I reading this correctly, or am I way off and he's a horrible, mean man who's gonna use me...or it's completely over and he hates me? I fear putting up my interpretations, as I could be totally delusional about what's going on here....

Thanks for your thoughts in advance!

Hi samoyedmom,

It all sounds very positive to me! The potential sounds really good.

The only one answer which i'd like to comment on is this:
Are both of us making positive changes in our lives that will bring
us together? 22.1.6 > 15

Grace and beauty are very soon turned to modesty. None of these
hexagrams speaks of great depth. 22 is all about surface, beauty,
pleasing manners, and 15 is all about modest authenticity. There's
no earth-shattering grand life changes. "When a man loves a
woman", and a woman loves a man, they like each other, they
feel genuine with each other - my take is that no other "grand"
change is required "to bring you together". Notice also hidden line
here is 52:6, que sera sera. People click or they don't - no matter
what "work" is put into it, no amount of "work" will make them
click or not. I think you're onto a winner here, fingers crossed.

Interesting, so in that light, the IC was saying "No changes needed to bring you together. If you are meant to be, then you will". I like what you said about feeling genuine towards one another. I do feel a nearly organic "I get you" kind of thing with him that I haven't felt before about anyone I've known. Even if this doesn't turn into the great romance, this friendship is one that I believe will have the ability to change each of our lives for the better. However, I'll still keep my fingers crossed for a bright romantic future!

Just saw a typo - 31.2.3.5 should be 31.2.3.5.6 > 64. Sorry about that!

What is our long term potential? 8 unchanging *****It seems that you will be involved with each other in some way or other for the foreseeable future.

Will we restart our relationship in April? 50.1 > 14 ****The potential is certainly there, just clean out the cobwebs of the past.

What romantic actions can I expect next from him? 41.5 > 61 ****This man is being very careful in his actions, but once the barriers break done then you can expect some romance from him when he finally sees the truth.

Are both of us making positive changes in our lives that will bring us together? 22.1.6 > 15 ****Yes you are, and you need to quietly continue the process.

As both of us met via an internet dating site and we both have profiles on various dating sites. I recently noticed after the times we've communicated in the past two weeks that Terry started "taking down" or hiding his profiles, one at a time. So, I asked "Why is he hiding his profiles?" and received Hex. 20, unchanging.

****Perhaps because he doesn't want people to see them anymore, tired of strangers prying.

Seeing what I perceived as a positive sign, I went for broke and asked a silly question. "Will Terry and I restart things by this weekend?" There is an event that could potentially bring us together, so I thought, "why not?" I received 31.2.3.5.6 > 64.

****Doubtful.

Wow, thanks, Diamanda and Willowfox for your take on things. It's a relief to know I'm somewhat on track with reading the IC. The many interpretations can be overwhelming at first, and I am still trying to learn them. I didn't even know about the hidden lines - heck, I've just discovered hex's that are paired up and transform into one another.

It's a good feeling to know that Terry and I have potential. Now it's up to us to take the next step and make things happen. I know he's a very deliberate man (in all aspects of his life), so this thing will go excruciatingly slow for me. I am the personality type where if I see what I want, I act on it and figure things out as I go. Terry is not that kind of man. He reflects, attempts to calculate actions and what would happen as a result from each option and *then* takes action. In this respect, we are yin and yang here. I think we can compliment each other with our natural tendencies down the road, that is, if we don't try to strangle the other when they act the way they do!

However, if it will be a healthy relationship and good for both of us, I don't mind the wait. In the grand scheme of things, time waiting here is not time wasted. It isn't that long in the overall picture if we wind up being together for years. As a matter of fact, it gives both of us the time to work on our individual stuff and have a better version of each of us to bring to the relationship. If I didn't use this time wisely, well, not only would I be cheating me on a great relationship (as I wouldn't be able to play full out), but I'd be cheating him out on being with a better woman as well.

I think what I casted shows the sloooow progress (and that I need to take this time to chill, reflect and work on me). So, as a follow up, I asked "What strategy will Terry be using when relating to me?" and got 31.2.4 > 48. Then, I turned the tables and asked "What kind of strategy should *I* be using when relating to Terry?" and received 38.2 > 21. I think the IC was telling me that it's gonna be a while, but I'll recognize the good stuff when it starts happening, so chill out and wait.

I did do two others and got the same exact result. Interesting. I asked "What kind of relationship does Terry want with me?" and "What will our life together be like?" I received 55.2.4.5 > 5. I take it to mean it will be good...so time to refocus on me and wait, as it will happen. It just may not be on the schedule I wish it to be.

samoyedmom said:

I asked "What strategy will Terry be using when relating to me?" and got 31.2.4 > 48. Then, I turned the tables and asked "What kind of strategy should *I* be using when relating to Terry?" and received 38.2 > 21.

I asked "What kind of relationship does Terry want with me?" and "What will our life together be like?" I received 55.2.4.5 > 5.

Click to expand...

I don't think he really has a prepared strategy, its kind of, when it happens, it happens, and your strategy is to keep communicating via emails, phone calls.

It makes me think he wants an open, friendly relationship.

Interesting take on strategies. I am playing things cool; however, I am the one that nudges him from time to time with a text or phone call. So, I'll keep doing that so the lines of communication stay open.

"...It makes me think he wants an open, friendly relationship."

Yeah, I think your interpretation is spot on with that as well. We have been very candid as we have gotten to know each other. Nothing seems to have been held back on either side so far. He made the comment once that people from his part of the world are very direct in saying what they feel. Later in that conversation, I said that I must be an honorary resident, since I'm the same way. I know that my ability to cut through things (hex 21?) and tell it like it is has surprised him.

I recall a couple of times that he did something totally boneheaded and later I said, "Hey, let's both face it. You did not do what you said and we both know it." It wasn't a shouting match, nor was it said in anger. It was just calling him on the carpet and saying "That was stupid, I didn't buy it, it took your credibility with me down and let's move past this", basically. Makes me wonder if he's ever experienced this in a relationship with a woman before. He seemed totally shocked when this happened.

We've had times where the fears of past hurts have subsided and I could see a lighthearted joy to the way we relate to each other. There's an ease to it which I think is great. Hopefully we'll both get to that place and stay there with one another soon.