Hi,

I was in bumpy-but-intense start with someone who all of the sudden disappeared from the map. That was last November and I haven't heard from him since. Ten days ago he dropped me a socialnetwork friend request with a one liner (very poetic vague dubious one) suggesting there might be an explanation for his disappearance.
I asked "What is his intention with this friend request? and got 61 inner truth unchanging. I felt reassured so I decided to wait for his next step. Meanwhile he has done nothing, except approve more friends, log in and out, upload some pictures.
Almost 2 weeks have gone by so I asked "What will be his next steps?" got
15.1 > 36

Despite the line saying he is ready to cross the great water, 36 warns me about still things left hidden and wounded and underground... more hiding and silence for us to come, then?

Thanks for reading,
Yoana

yoana said:

I asked "What is his intention with this friend request? and got 61
Almost 2 weeks have gone by so I asked "What will be his next steps?" got
15.1 > 36

Click to expand...

Hex 61 Your friend is trying to gain your trust and confidence in him, step by step.

15.1 > 36 I think he will contact again soon about nothing really important.

Thanks WF, that sounds like him indeed...

I will come back to update the post for future reference when this finally unfolds. I'm just glad the day finally came in which I learned to wait calmly and in peace...

More to come...

Hi, there is yet no outcome for this thread, he hasn't done anything.
I'm back to ask for further help.

I was calm then but it seems my emotional solidity is degrading, it's been too much in the last year, with my partner's unexplainable disappearance (the guy concerned above) and the other guy keeping an hidden girlfriend, added to the stress of seeing my dance career reach its end. I feel a bit crumbling down…

I can't see clearly into the answers, can you help?

2 weeks ago I asked
"Give me an image of what is happening with us at this moment?"
and was uplifted by 58 .1.2 > 45
But two weeks and absolutely no contact from him, and I see him logging in and out facebook.
As I said, my tranquillity started to waver and yesterday we were both online in the chat and it just blew me away, that we are both there and we don't exchange anything, I was so sad. Later I asked :

Is it worth waiting for a reencounter? 40. 1. 4 > 19
(release from him or from the obstacles between us?)

and most importantly of them all,
What should be my next steps towards him in order to finally heal this wound?

51 unchanging.

This one is the one I'm more interested in - what can I do?
51 tells me to rock the boat, but always unchanging hexagrams give me the feeling of… nothing will change. Or, don't take action?

I'm really torn, I don't think I can just wait around and watch his life through facebook, it's becoming very destructive. But of course I want to act aligned with the best of my possibilities…

Thank you in advance for your help.
Yoana :bows:

Hmm... looks like the Yi and I are aligned... am I starting to get wiser?

Hi everyone,

That 58 (1,2) > 45 is something I will one day perhaps come to understand, not now. Along with the 28 (2) > 31 on the likelihood of a romantic reencounter, along with all those lines which seemed to me were saying "perseverance brings good fortune", all those times I got 17 or 32 when I asked what to do... now it all makes no sense at all.

All appearances show this story has reach an end, and a very ugly one in what endings are concerned. For me, it was sheer terror, which makes me think of the 51 (see posts above).
But that was supposed to be the action I should take, and not how I would end up, right?...

I took Cris' and WF's advise, and my own inner drive, and wrote him a short email. For two days he didn't reply, but then I bumped into him in the chat list, and I said "Hola".

It's too sad to reproduce... he really didn't answer any of my questions, the chat lasted 4 minutes, the only thing he did say was he is working a lot (but didn't reply in what) and that "each person puts the amount of energy they wish to into writing" and "I am not a criminal so I don't need these policial emails" (sorry, can't really translate his strange mixture of italian and spanish into english...). The chat ended with me
"I didn't meant for you to feel you are being chased by policemen, I don't want to be heavy, I just want a bit of clarity about what happened, please just tell me why you left like that"
He didn't reply and he simply left the chat without a further word.

It was devastating. I feel very weakened by all these months of silence and all things around in my life that matter to me and are slowly collapsing, now I know I spent all these months waiting for him, or an explanation, or something that helped me cope with the absurdity - all to arrive at this point, to this frustrating chat, standing there waiting for a response that will never arrive.

Ok, I gathered the pieces, I erased him from facebook so I don't have to bump into him in the chat list anymore, I started thinking how I can really move on. Because I told myself I am over this before, and all the time I admit I was just waiting.

I know I "used" the Y as an excuse to go on waiting. But in my ignorance of its vocabulary, I actually did read that. There was never a clear sign to walk away, to let it go, except in that 40 > 19 last week I mentioned above, and even then its arguable, because it does mutate to 19.

I am really fascinated about this book and I wish to go on studying it, but having this as a precedent doesn't help. I asked
"From our dialogue I could never see this brutal ending coming, did I really failed so drastically in reading what you were trying to tell me?"

and got 55 unchanging.

What do you make of that?
Is the Y saying I read "too much" into his advices? How would you interpret such an answer?


About the guy, of course all good sense knows it's time to let go and move on, I must have really made a bad judgement on him, but the truth is I'm trying to let him go for half an year now, and even his sad and cruel behavior don't seem enough to get me back on a good track... I feel utterly confused.

As I had never tried it before but read about it in several posts here, I tried Jesed's "General Diagnostic" sequence.

1 - general diagnosis of the relationship: 57 (2,3,6) > 8
2 - my position: 6 (4) > 59
3 - his position: 21 (6) > 51
4 - an image of the near future: 47 (1,3,4,5) > 11
5 - action I should take: 30 (2,3,5) > 10


I actually did it because I needed a sense of closure, something or someone who would tell me something that could help me find a reasonable ending to the story, but now I'm left with this shrewd diagnosis and can't find my way out of it...

...that fourth line of 6 is scary, describing me walking away and finding peace in persevering...

Would really appreciate more views into what seems very chaotic to me at the moment.

Thank you in advance,
Yoana :bows:

yoana said:

I took WF's advise, and my own inner drive, and wrote him a short email. For two days he didn't reply, but then I bumped into him in the chat list, and I said "Hola".



I asked
"From our dialogue I could never see this brutal ending coming, did I really failed so drastically in reading what you were trying to tell me?"

and got 55 unchanging.

Click to expand...

First thing that I need to say is that you needed to hear something positive or negative from him, something that would end your months of suspended animation one way or another. I told you that you should wait and you did because sooner or later you were bound to "bump" into each other. Then I told you to use whatever means were available to talk to him to find out the "truth" basically.

You followed all my suggestions and at last you have an "answer", that's exactly what you have been looking for all these months, unfortunately your hope has been dashed, but at least you now know, at last you can be free of the rope that bound you.

If you had not followed my advice then you would still probably be completely in the dark as regards him but still holding out hope, maybe for years to come even. At last it has ended.

So, Hex 55 No! But you failed to realize that when the Sun reaches Noon, it then starts to wane, eventually ending in darkness.

Willowfox,
you have been always available and supportive throughout this whole process, often being the only person replying to my threads.
In no way I felt you mislead me, or the Y for that matter, i was the one who had a overwhelming desire to hold on... and I guess that 28.2 > 31 was the sort of line that can fool the most experience reader. I mean, I still have Gene's sentence in my head "It will be rejuvenating!" ...

Yes, you did suggest I waited and that there were good chances of a comeback, but you never gave me a guarantee. I also see the way you read on other threads, you have your directions and you follow them with confidence, I admire that. But you never imposed me anything...

I feel stupid and ashamed to have waited for so long, but you're right, at least I have a chance to leave now and not later. If this hadn't happen I will probably be waiting for a long while still.

But can I leave now...?

The thing is now I don't feel strong nor certain I can move on, despite having no alternative, can you still give me your opinion on

5 - action I should take: 30 (2,3,5) > 10

How do I get out of this mess ???

Thank you for this and all the previous one,
you gave me some true moments of enthusiasm...! :bows:

I will answer that later, the action question as I have to go out now but what still lingers in my mind is the question of where did he disappear to for 4 months or so.

Also, did he really use the word criminal? It just so coincidental.

No problem, I would really appreciate your advise (as well as other views from other people reading..) but there is no urgency.

Yes: "no soy criminoso y eso es todo muy policial" was one of the 3 sentences he cared to write before he left again.
...my translation wasn't literal...
I reckon he feels persecuted, which I find puzzling, since I also kept myself silent all these months until this one (short!) mail... perhaps somewhere there really hidden under his heart he does have some humanity and empathy and that gives him a guilty conscious, who knows...

Hear from you later
and thanks anyone in advance for other perspectives on the process!

Yo

yoana said:

5 - action I should take: 30 (2,3,5) > 10

How do I get out of this mess ???

Click to expand...

Line 30.2 is talking about balance, to be willing to listen as well as willing to understand the situation with eyes "wide opened", to take a balanced view of the whole situation, and therefore, not to do anything extreme. So, see him for what he is because things have indeed changed.

Line 30.3 this is saying that the end of this relationship has come and trying to hang on to a dream will only bring further sadness, its over, so stop clinging to an illusion, now its time to get on with your own life, as he's dead.

Line 30.5 when you finally acknowledge the truth, you must realize that you need to leave him behind in the past where he belongs, you maybe very sad now but oneday you will be happy that you took a new path in life, therefore now is the time to start doing the things that you really want to do without that "chain" holding you back.

Hex 30 is all about clarity, enlightenment, to see clearly what the reality of the situation actually is in the cold light of day. Face the facts and move on now.

Hex 10 Keep cool and level headed.

Thanks Willowfox, these words are precious and having them as guidelines does help a lot. I feel like a baby that needs someone to say, "Now left foot", "Then right foot", "That's it"...!
...but we all had to learn it one day, might as well be now, for me.

The curious thing is it's so much harder and more painful now than actually it was on the time he did leave what we did have, 4 months ago. I'm amazed to see how I managed to keep myself enclosed inside a "bubble" of denial and expectations. And never really faced what I am facing now.

But it's here, it's now, I see it, I'm gonna give it my best shot -
and I am very thankful for the guidance.

It makes a lot of difference.

Gracias, Obrigada, Merci:
Yoana

30.5 : Wilhelm says : "

Six in the fifth place means: Tears in floods, sighing and lamenting. Good fortune.
Here the zenith of life has been reached. Were there no warning, one would at this point consume oneself like a flame. Instead, understanding the vanity of all things, one may put aside both hope and fear, and sigh and lament: if one is intent on retaining his clarity of mind, good fortune will come from this grief. For here we are dealing not with a passing mood, as in the nine in the third place, but with a real change of heart

Click to expand...

."