Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
My boyfriend has broken up with me after nearly four years. I am in a difficult situation at work and he has got tired of my pessimism. He loved me very much, we got on very well and he tried to help me, but I recognize I can be very difficult and too pesimistic when things don’t go well.
He broke up one month and a half ago and although I have tried to settle things he doesn’t want a reconciliation. After several conversations, I told him to stop communication and block our phone numbers to make things easier for me, but he said he is not going to do it because he wants to be my friend.
Hi, I'm coming late to this conversation but the question intrigued me...
I haven't read the other responses so what I'm posting here may be a duplication.
Sending him a card:
59. You'd like to dissolve the blockage.
18.3 He has made it clear he does not want to continue as romantic partners.
18.5 So you should only send him a card if you can accept that stricture. If you still wish to continue a connection with this fellow you could use this birthday to make it clear you understand and accept the new rules by sending a card that specifically addresses him as a friend. Maybe the "praise" could be that the card says something like "To my very good friend."
Not to send a card.
55.4 - 36.
36. is about hiding one's light in order to protect yourself. I think it says by not sending a card you are making it clear you are not open to being "friends". I also think it could be saying that not sending a message would not make his heart grow fonder, it would only allow you to protect your heart if you're not ready to accept his restrictions.
Have you asked the I Ching what being "friends" would look like?
Best wishes,
rosada
Thank you very much, Rosada. I have decided not to wish him a happy birthday. The only reason to do so was because the breakup is very recent. Unless we had children, I don’t believe in friendship after a breakup, at least until I have recovered myself completely, and even then I am not sure if it is a good idea.
Best wishes,
Nekan1973
Thank you, becalm, I completely understand you and I hope to reach that state of calm you achieved. Your point of view has been very clarifying for me. As you said, taking care of myself is the most important thing now. I was just thinking about him receiving my wishes, but it would have hurt me in the end.So happy to hear this - taking care of your own heart first and foremost is the most important thing right now.
My husband and I had children together but fortunately when we split the children were old enough to have direct communication with him and I could just stay out of it.
I've only seen him once in those 11 years (which was about 5 years after the split) and that's because I opened the door to him when I was at my sons house and they were heading out together.
We said hello and goodbye and that was it.
According to my son his father could barely speak for the next half an hour because seeing me unexpectedly had such an emotional affect on him and apparently to this day he still cares for me deeply.
So whilst you're probably beside yourself with grief at this time I hope you know in yourself that at some point you will have clarity and you will find peace.
Beautiful!!! I live next to the ocean and in my opinion it's the best thing for the soul!!! Walking on the beach, being in the water or finding that piece of sea glass or lovely shell....you are so strong to be able to have such self control and let go and be doing what's best for you. Have a great time with your family - they will always be your soft place to fall.Thank you, becalm, I completely understand you and I hope to reach that state of calm you achieved. Your point of view has been very clarifying for me. As you said, taking care of myself is the most important thing now. I was just thinking about him receiving my wishes, but it would have hurt me in the end.
Today it is his birthday and I will spend the day with my parents and brother in the seaside. I will take my mind off. Happy Sunday!
Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).