11.1.5 to 48 a daughter

[mariella]

HI, I am in a really hard situation with my daughter: when I ask her an help the answer is yes but then everything become wrong: a lot of questioning and a bad mood. Doing a favour this way for me it means there is not that much love in the relationship, which for me is a broken utopia. I have the desire to split apart to protect myself, never ask again nothing, nor give help anymore, which is in contradiction on being a mother. So I asked what shall I do with her? and the answer was 11.1.5 to 48.
Which flow I have to follow? And is the Well (48) linked to my deep way of being still a loving mother as I would liked to be, not caring of every bad occurrence?
Thank you

 

[Trojina]

HI, I am in a really hard situation with my daughter: when I ask her an help the answer is yes but then everything become wrong: a lot of questioning and a bad mood. Doing a favour this way for me it means there is not that much love in the relationship, which for me is a broken utopia. I have the desire to split apart to protect myself, never ask again nothing, nor give help anymore, which is in contradiction on being a mother. So I asked what shall I do with her? and the answer was 11.1.5 to 48.
Which flow I have to follow? And is the Well (48) linked to my deep way of being still a loving mother as I would liked to be, not caring of every bad occurrence?
Thank you

My overall feeling on this is no you don't really have to do anything, this will sort itself out. I say that because of that strong flow in 11 along with the 48. My impression is there are deep currents here, deep and living feelings and bonds to draw on so the fact she is moody about helping you doesn't actually count for much in the big picture of your relationship.

I also wonder what she is going through in her relationships ? Although I say there's no need to do anything 11.1 does say it is 'good fortune' to 'set out to bring order' so I don't think you are called to completely ignore what's happening but it looks like once you look into her behaviour all kinds of other things come to light. If you read the line it says how if you pull blade of grass you pull other roots too.

11.5 made me think it might be literally to do with her marriage, if she's married ? Or even that a marriage will help to set your relationship in a bigger context. Sorry no idea how old she is....but this line is a lovely line for good things passing down generations. Sacrifices of one generation leading to riches in the next. In the context of family life and your relationship with her this just seems a very fortunate line.

Regarding the 48 I agree you must draw on your reserves of motherly love but there is also a warning in 48 that one may not be going quite deep enough and the 11.1 made me think that too. Do you think there are other things on her mind that make her moody right now ? Do you think she might like to talk to you more ?

Practically then no I don't think you should take any drastic 'cut off' action since you have a sound bond with her and possibly future generations through her. It seems to me mothers come in very useful when the daughters themselves have children....Grandmother duties ! So no drastic action but maybe more time to talk to ask if anything is wrong or maybe to try to say you feel hurt ? Maybe just more communication when you aren't asking for help ?

I don't know the details so some of this won't fit but in general this is a good reading I think for family issues. What happens between you moves through generations or if not that enriches both of you.

 

[mariella]

Thank you very much Trojina. It is true: we always had a strong connection, I used to call her with the Italian word "cozza", the black mussel stucks on the rocks. And this is probably the problem, since she is 22 years old now but still in adolescence...So she is probably trying to kill her mother without killing her I'm sure it will be better in the future, but the problem is that I feel alone and apart now. Anyway thanks to your suggestion: I will do nothing for now, waiting for her and I will try to find a way to speak with her because she probably has some black hole inside. Then I let you know!