12.5, 12>8 and 32>2

[yxeli]

Hey all,

These three readings are all around the same subject. My relationship with a guy has slightly improved beyond the drama of the break up, confusion and misscommunication of late. Since New Years Day, we have been making a concerted effort to be amicable to eachother.

I saw him on friday night, he called to me and we had a brief chat. He wanted to open up my vulnerability by mentioning something that he knows would hurt me. I quickly corrected his assumption that he can continue to manipulate me by playing on my vulnerabilities anymore since we're not together. I said it quite eloquently and not at all in an abusive manner, inside i felt like this reaction to his ways has been four years in the making, so I felt very pleased internally about my response.

I must say that I do still hold a hope that we can reconcile, even though i know its probably hopeless. I know that the way he talks to me is trying to open me up and is probably in good faith, but after years of manipulative behaviour from him, these last words feel like a candles last smoulders. Its too little, too late.

The first question i asked was 'what is the situation now with P' 12.5 to 35.

Generally hex 12 is bad news isnt it? I understand this, but when I received this hopefull line, I wondered if i might be colouring it with my own hopeful fantasies, and so I come to you.

'what if i should fail? what if i should fail?'

Is this referring to some stance that i have taken about this relationship? that i am worrying myself ill? Or is 12 my own negative (evil people) perceptions of the situation, and yi is councilling me that these negatives are leaving me?

Its very hard to interpret. In one sense I wonder if somehow at hex 12, i realise that he isnt good for me, and i understand this by way of 35, lots of 'audiences' with him?

The second hex was 'what can i expect from him 12 4,6,>8.


This one is even more confusing to interpret then the first. For the most part, the individual lines seem to be encouring. Line 4, there is a mandate here. A mandate for what? to relieve the stagnation? or does it play within the realm of 12, there is something 'ordained by heaven by not being with this guy now' type thing? Huang has it that the mandate is to treat lines 5 and 6, the two yin elements with respect and sincerity, there will be a good result. 'those of likemind partake in the blessing'.

Line 6 is obviously very reassuring, that the stagnation will end and something new will take its place.

So am i being completely overly hopeful to read 12 >8 that I can expect the stagnation to finish and a bond to take place between us again?

or isit the other way 'if you see evil people' of the statement. 8 being the hexagram of group formations, and very much up to the querant in which direction you want to go in. this affiliation is inherantly wrong?

The last question I asked was 'How should I behave towards him'. 32 2,3,4>2 .This is the real stunner here, commitment?

receptive commitment?

The individual lines dont seem too good. Not being myself around him, not being constant, 'no game in the field.'

Im a bit stumped by this one and how to fit it in to these 12 readings.


Thanks as always for any help,

Yx

 

[ginnie]

The first question i asked was 'what is the situation now with P' 12.5 to 35.

You are giving it a rest.

The second hex was 'what can i expect from him 12 4,6,>8.

A mandate and, with creativity, an end to the stagnation.

'How should I behave towards him'. 32 2,3,4>2 .

You should be persistent, and then regrets will eventually vanish. As it is, you are critical of him but you are not consistently virtuous, either. And you are looking for the 'game in the field' in the wrong way.

I hope this has been helpful ... Yi seems to think there's a whole lot more potential in this relationship than you can see yourself at the present time ... Sometimes the I Ching delivers these real eye-openers ...

 

[yxeli]

Thanks a million Ginnie.

Really got confused about that 12.

As it is, you are critical of him but you are not consistently virtuous, either. And you are looking for the 'game in the field' in the wrong way.

Thats true. Im on the defensive alot. 13.3 all over the place. And i jump from thinking he's being sincere to being manipulative. thats a probelm with my own head I need to sort out.

I keep getting 53.3 here too, in conbination. I suppose that doesnt bode well. Every translation seems to suggest thats an end to the wild geese getting it together,

'what do i need to understand about this relationship 53, 3,6 >8. That one really doesn't seem a good response. 'how he feels for me now' 53,1,3> 42.

No line 5 here.

'What does P want from me 37.'

37 has been the most consistant hex over the years here. When any major drama or arguments happened Yi seemed to always throw me 37. 'persistance of the woman' again.

Thanks Ginnie your responses are always of great help.

Yx

 

[ginnie]

Thanks a million Ginnie.

You're welcome, Yxeli!

I keep getting 53.3 here too, in combination. I suppose that doesn't bode well. Every translation seems to suggest that's an end to the wild geese getting it together.

H 53.3 indicates a state of mind in which people have taken a wrong turn, but that doesn't mean they cannot correct themselves and move on later. H 53.3 is often associated with hastiness or just being plain wrong about something.

 

[yxeli]

Thanks again ginnie.

I must say im still totally confused. mostly because ive asked yi too much about this now.

The combinations ive posted were the first few i asked about this, along with 41.6. and 23.6.

I really dont want to give myself false hope.

I thought i was on the path of recovery here, but alot of the times, i think i might be using yi to help e keep hoping.

I dont know whether the loss in 41.6 is trying to tell me this loss is of benefit to all, or whether its something else.

and i dont know if the seed in 23.6 is referring to a seperation that ultimately will lead to good.

I really do hold too uch stock in the hope.

Its the only thing that i just cant get over. I feel stagnant because I cant let him go and I dont undertsnad his inteentions. I ran away from my city to get away from it all. It didnt help.

I dont have any money to talk about this with a councillor. I only have yi.

I went to a free councillor a few months ago and it didnt help me.

I doubt yi, i doubt myself, im entirely confused and it feel slike my life stopped and got so much worse and alone. most of my relationships fell away and i havent been able to recover.

I dont want anyone else.

I think ive gone too far with not being able to understand yi and now i just dont believe any of it anmore.

Im so tired and yet the feelings i have for him havent changed in all these years.

I just wish i had never met him.

Yx

 

[ginnie]

I know how you feel because I have experienced a relationship like this myself. It should get better over time. It is a fated relationship and you have to settle back and realize that he isn't going to change overnight. Try to see beyond the things that are so upsetting about him. I think that is the key to it. In other words, don't dwell on what's wrong with him or what's wrong with you. Counseling sometimes has us wallowing in everything that's wrong, and yet everything is not wrong with this relationship. It's all part of the growth of the soul, I think, otherwise you wouldn't be so stuck on him. That is my perspective.