24.2.6 ->41 as an advice????

[ichinglover]

Hi all!

I was curious what your opinion is on this rather sinister ? reading I got.

The question was

What do I need to do now to meet a new man, my future husband?

24.2.6 -> 41

I'm not even sure what to make out of it? I it an advice? A statement?

I'm lost...:bows:

 

[Trojina]

I'd see it as now is not such a good time to be trying to meet a new man. Possibly because you don't need the emotional complication this would involve (41) it is better for you to keep your emotional life plain and simple right now. If meeting a new man sets you on a roller coaster of emotional ups and downs is that something thats really helpful for you right now ? 41 shows it is better for you to simplify than to complicate., to keep emotions and passions low rather than seek out excitement. 24 is most often about returning to your self, finding rest and renewal within your self. 24.2 is good for this. 24.6 indicates to me that actively pursuing this goal right now is not timely., maybe you aren't really in tune what you want ..or what you think you want is not really what you want now but what you wanted way back.

Thats how i see it for now anyway, conserving your energy for yourself, for your own return to well being..then you will be much better placed to find a new man

 

[ichinglover]

Trojan,
thanks a lot!

It's not a goo time to meet a man?

"what you think you want is not really what you want now but what you
wanted way back."

this actually could be very true, since i'm going thru changes...

but it's so sad to be alone

 

[ichinglover]

One more question

I also asked "what is the best use of time that I have now - as I'm not working,
not doing much"

Got 59.1.3, not sure what the result hex is...

I keep getting 59.3?

What do I need to dissolve exactly? My own ego?

COuld anyone please shed some light on this?

 

[tigerintheboat]

59.3

Got 59.1.3[/B], not sure what the result hex is...

I keep getting 59.3?

What do I need to dissolve exactly? My own ego?

I would take it more specifically, as dispersing the "heavy" parts of yourself. Wikiwing says:

Naturally you leave behind the heavier parts of yourself. Maybe that’s your identification with beliefs or achievements. Certainly it's nothing to regret.

Experience: The person dropped his defenses, trusting he could reveal more of his true self.

Perhaps an opportunity to lose a false self and discover a deeper identity?

In your case, the "heavy stuff" is probably identification with your suffering...Can there be an "I" (an identity) which stands apart from the part of you that is unhappy? Perhaps some of that dark heavier energy can be dispersed while your identity is elsewhere.

Tiger

 

[ichinglover]

thank you Tiger!

Not only it's hard for me to decipher what I ching is saying, it is also impossible for me to actually implement the advice, even though it makes sense....

There is no I without suffering, I think....

I was ignoring it most of my life pretending it's not there, but now I can't ignore it anymore...

 

[Trojina]

thank you Tiger!

Not only it's hard for me to decipher what I ching is saying, it is also impossible for me to actually implement the advice, even though it makes sense....

There is no I without suffering, I think....

I was ignoring it most of my life pretending it's not there, but now I can't ignore it anymore...

59.3 could be as simple and direct an advice as to stop thinking about yourself. 59.1 could be maybe about going and helping other people in some way...maybe voluntary work ? Hex 9, the relating hexagram is about tending to the day to day details of life, maintenance things..and i have the feeling you got hex 9 elsewhere and Maria explained about how it might apply to your situation ?


If you look at what needs to be done next, rather than thinking in long term future projections of whether you'll ever be happy and so on you might start to forget to think about yourself for a while...well voluntary work would give you a break from considering your own suffering and use the time constructively...and also possibly give rise to future employment possibilities and new friends who take your mind off your past and get you to look more to the future.


I think the advice in 59.1.3 >9 may be quite direct...do some work (hex 9) that helps others (59.1) and that takes your mind off you (59.3)

and if you don't like the idea of voluntary work just think of some other ways you could spend less time thinking about yourself...let your attention to your self disperse..hex 9 activities BTW are very much small duties in life, like gardening, cleaning, sewing, cooking, returning library books (don't yawn lol) which whilst they sound boring are IMO incredibly therapeutic for a stressed out mind that can't focus too much on reading and ideas and so on. maybe soothing repetitive activities that have some use at the same time. These kinds of things keep people going during all kinds of hard times, bereavment and so on because they keep life ticking over and stop you going nuts

 

[ichinglover]

I ching seems to push me back to work?

Trojan,
thanks a lot for your interpretation!

It's also very relevant! As I haven't been working for the past 2 years, so there is debt,
obviously.

I ching seems to give me a very practical advice here, go back to work, basically!

As Tiger suggested, I'm working on dropping my defenses as well!

Also I had the idea of doing my own business, it's raw, and I'm all over the place
with it, but this reading seems to propose the idea of employment with the company, not a self-employment, right?

I'd love to volunteer, but I can't afford it

 

[tigerintheboat]

"I" Without Suffering

thank you Tiger!

Not only it's hard for me to decipher what I ching is saying, it is also impossible for me to actually implement the advice, even though it makes sense....

There is no I without suffering, I think....

I was ignoring it most of my life pretending it's not there, but now I can't ignore it anymore...

I am not telling you to pretend that the pain and suffering are not there...I am telling you to form your identity elsewhere, in the present moment.

The I Ching does not give impossible advice...sometimes we are not able to do what it suggests, but it is not impossible.

The readings suggests you disperse what is heavy...I suggest a technique. When you find yourself wallowing in negative thoughts about the past, say to yourself that you recognize that these are your thoughts, but you do not want them right now. They do not have to dominate your brain and your feelings at any moment of the day. You do not want to be prisoner to them.

So you say to them, "I will give space to these thoughts at a specific time. [You pick a time and duration that is convenient for you]. " Each time the thoughts come back, dismiss them with the idea that you promise to meet these thoughts at the appointed time.

When the appointed time comes, sit down and have these thoughts. Be sure to leave the space for this to happen. Allow 10 minutes or 30 minutes or whatever duration you think appropriate to have these thoughts.

If you do this experiment, I think you will find that the thoughts will not be happy about keeping the appointment. But even if they do keep the appointment, you will have defined a time and space to have these negative suffering thoughts, and limited their number and duration.

And that is big progress toward having an identity that does not involve suffering.

Tiger

 

[ichinglover]

What an interesting technique, Tiger!

I'll try it..It like Scarlett O'Hara's "I'll think about it tomorrow"?

The problem though that I also have intrusive thoughts about the present,
things that bother me literally 24/7 - fear about my aging looks, face, hair, body,
to the point that I'm afraid of the mirrors, can't even put make up,
fear of ending up alone or worse marrying out of desperation,
fear of not getting what I want....

I wish i could turn these ones off somehow...nothing turns it off...

I tried learning a new subject, pretty demading too, I tried concentrating on
doing some sort of work, reading...Nothing helps....

They are always there. if only I could divert my attention somewhere else!

Normally being in debt would motivate me to work, now even that does not bother me...

Basically, I'd rather live in a shelter, than look in the mirror! It's that bad
all these

 

[Trojina]

Trojan,
thanks a lot for your interpretation!

It's also very relevant! As I haven't been working for the past 2 years, so there is debt,
obviously.

I ching seems to give me a very practical advice here, go back to work, basically!

As Tiger suggested, I'm working on dropping my defenses as well!

Also I had the idea of doing my own business, it's raw, and I'm all over the place
with it, but this reading seems to propose the idea of employment with the company, not a self-employment, right?

I'd love to volunteer, but I can't afford it

It doesn't cost anything to volunteer...infact you usually get back any expenses on travel etc so if you aren't working anyway I can't see that you'd lose out. .but i know things are different over there (in US)

Anyway no i wouldn't say that the Yis answer is being so prescriptive as to mean 'you must go back to work for a company'..59.3 shows dissolving self and doing voluntary work was just one way i thought of for you to do that. I thought you weren't actually feeling so well so perhaps taking on full time work whether for a company or for yourself might be a bit too much.. I mean whatever you do with your time it has to be something that isn't too demanding if you are already struggling with stress issues...but of course if you can do paid work that may solve several problems at once (but i don't think that your answer says thats what you must do)

Remember your question was 'what is best use of my time ?' and i agree with what Tiger said about dissolving rigid thoughts about yourself...one way to do that is to be more outer orientated..simply putting your attention outside yourself and 59.1 seems to say you do have things to do and can actually do a bit of rescue work (for self or others, who knows but you can successfully salvage something here).

Anyway with what you've said about your situation/state of mind and your relating hexagram being 9 i reckon you are better thinking small for now rather than aiming for really big projects. Do things you can manage...figure what you can really manage and do that is a simple way forward


The I Ching can't tell you exactly what to do with questions like this...you have to take the general idea and see how you can apply it in your life.

IMO apart from advice answers often reflect what you are doing/will do anyway. Its not just advising you to disperse self i think its also saying you already are...i mean in part i see it as a prediction as well as advice.

Maybe this was a good question to ask...maybe you are thinking along the right lines, about your time and how to use it, maybe the beginning of dispersing rigid thoughts about yourself and your unhappiness have already begun...i think that likley. Your answer isn't an impossible ideal, its already happening...so that has to be good

 

[ichinglover]

Thanks a lot for this clarifiction Trojan!

Funily, today I noticed a girl I haven't talked to for a year at least in my messenger.
She told me she can't find a job, partly 'cause she lacks certain skill, that I happen to have. So I volunteered to give her and couple other people a free course in it.
Mind you since the onset of my depression I haven't been working at all, so, on one hand it feels like a right think to do as I always offer help when I can to people (not a good thing!!!!sometimes, ran into several problems and swore to myself to never ever offer help when not asked), on the other hand I'm in debt, I have to look for a job, or a sugar daddy bit instead I'm voluntering to help people I barely know. That must be my life path 9 talking (see numerology) I hate this costly quality of mine - this weird need to help....right now I NEED HELP!!!!!!!! It seems so unfair that now when I went thru dismissal at work ( with the scandal), break up and betrayal, health/looks problems, I need to volunteer...
Why nobody volunteeres to help me for a change? People just expect or demand things of me...Here i go with my whining again... Sorry!

 

[tigerintheboat]

Keep the Appointment

It like Scarlett O'Hara's "I'll think about it tomorrow"?

I think she was just putting it off. You have to make an appointment for a specific time and keep it! Let those thoughts have full rein during that time and put the breaks on them at other times.

The problem though that I also have intrusive thoughts about the present, things that bother me literally 24/7 - fear about my aging looks, face, hair, body,to the point that I'm afraid of the mirrors, can't even put make up,
fear of ending up alone or worse marrying out of desperation...

Can't help you with that, there is a scary old man in my mirror who keeps looking out at me...I just ignore him!

Tiger

 

[maremaria]

You don’t NEED to volunteer . Reading Trojan’s post I though volunteer work its one of many suggestions What is nice about a volunteer work is that nobody expects or demands to do it. You offer your time/work because its just your choice. Of course if you decide to do such a thing people will “expect” or “demand” things from you but you have agreed in advance that you willing to do it.

A tip from my drawing lessons. : I was painting something and on my paper there was something wrong. I was trying to find it for a long time but couldn’t see the mistake. Then my teacher told me to leave the painting , go to the window and look outside for some moments. She told me to forget every about the painting and just look outside. When I would return, she told me that the first thing I could see would be the mistake. I did it and it work, because I saw it with a clearer mind. I think, this is what , more or less , your 59 lines say.

There is a interesting thread about 59. Take a look , perhaps you'll find some answers.


What you say here, is really important.

Why nobody volunteeres to help me for a change? People just expect or demand things of me...Here i go with my whining again... Sorry!

Why nobody volunteeres to help me for a change? Nobody ? Or just the people you expect ?
I think I know some people that voluntary have offered some help .

People just expect or demand things of me... Everybody or certain people ?

Here i go with my whining again... Sorry!

You have some good reasons to do that, yet I believe venting feels better . Rosada asked Yi about venting. Yi said, its ok

If I’m allowed to say that, I would suggest you ask your therapist and talk about joining a group.

best,
maria

 

[Trojina]

I also asked "what is the best use of time that I have now - as I'm not working,
not doing much"

Got 59.1.3, not sure what the result hex is...

I keep getting 59.3?

What do I need to dissolve exactly? My own ego?

COuld anyone please shed some light on this?

Thanks a lot for this clarifiction Trojan!

Funily, today I noticed a girl I haven't talked to for a year at least in my messenger.
She told me she can't find a job, partly 'cause she lacks certain skill, that I happen to have. So I volunteered to give her and couple other people a free course in it.
Mind you since the onset of my depression I haven't been working at all, so, on one hand it feels like a right think to do as I always offer help when I can to people (not a good thing!!!!sometimes, ran into several problems and swore to myself to never ever offer help when not asked), on the other hand I'm in debt, I have to look for a job, or a sugar daddy bit instead I'm voluntering to help people I barely know. That must be my life path 9 talking (see numerology) I hate this costly quality of mine - this weird need to help....right now I NEED HELP!!!!!!!! It seems so unfair that now when I went thru dismissal at work ( with the scandal), break up and betrayal, health/looks problems, I need to volunteer...
Why nobody volunteeres to help me for a change? People just expect or demand things of me...Here i go with my whining again... Sorry!

I just wanted to highlight your original question. You weren't asking 'how can i get the help i need' you were asking 'what is best use of my time now'. Hence the answers you received from others weren't about the help you needed but suggestions for use of your time.

Somehow you've taken my suggestion and turned it around into the idea that you 'need' to do voluntary work you don't 'need' to do it but you were asking how to use your time. In itself it can be therapuetic for you anyway but if you don't want to there is no need to. The main thing is to dissolve your fixation upon yourself that has grown very painful and disperse your attention elsewhere (59.3) at least thats how Im seeing it...there will be other ways of course. I like what Maria described, just like walking away from the painting for a while and looking out of the window



Seems the real question you wanted answering is "how can i get the help i need'...but thats a seperate question from 'how to best use my time'...but seems to me thinking about how you use time might be a helpful line of thought right now anyway...and apart from that finding a therapist. I'm no expert but i think some kind of Cognitive therapy may be helpful right now...which involves reframing negative thoughts into something more positive..ie instead of 'noone ever helps me' substitute the thought 'sometimes people do help me'...and exersizes like Tiger described. I think these kinds of things do have good results sometimes.

Venting has its place but there comes a point when one is telling oneself the same old bad story over and over again and just confirming ones identity as 'sufferer'..which in the end just makes you feel worse.

Still it can't be rushed everyone has to do things at their own pace I guess

 

[ichinglover]

Tiger and Trojan, Maria,
thanks a lot for your input!!!

I got it - i don't need to volunteer...

Basically, I need to find something to do that will distract me from my problems... I got it

The problem is that nothing does , because the problems are in the mirror and in the soul,
may be volunteering somewhere in Sudan will distract me...Or working for UN, it has to be something extreme, because nothing normal ( like my IT job) can't make me forget my problems

Thanks a lot!!!

P.S. Oh, and i'm seeing a therapist, but it's only 1 or two hours a week, the rest of the week I have to deal with myself..I'm not very successful in it