37.1 > 53 going it alone?

[Lana73123]

Well...the ongoing saga of the boy with benefits...

So, I asked Yi - "what would my life look like and be like if I tell D I didn't want to see him anymore"
I got 37.1 (Extended Family) changing to 53 (Steady Pace).

I don't really understand why I got Extended Family with this question. he is not my family. We are not even in the same group at all (friends speaking). Its quite weird we even know each other at all. So for the advise to be Extended Family........ just confusing.
....but anyway....
37.1 - seems to indicate that this may be the right thing to do. He is a child who has gotten away with far too much and now refuses to be disciplined and responsible. I feel he now takes me for granted and uses me for his pleasure only when he wants it - no regard for my needs or wants.

so this changes into 53 - a steady pace. Indicating that anything worth it takes time to develop and cannot/should not be rushed or manipulated. So this makes me think that MAYBE I am jumping the gun in telling him to get lost??? Should I be more patient and see if he comes around on his own and starts treating me like he did in the beginning?

I also looked at 53.1 - (divination.com) says "The image is of a lonely young man who sets forth on his own. His perception of facing a huge challenge makes him very careful. The indication is that if you are cautious, and persevere, you will have good fortune. When situations are allowed to develop gradually, liabilities can evolve into assets." it seems like that is saying that I can get through this (leaving him) but its going to be hard and lonely.

So I guess I am asking for y'alls wisdom and insight here --- Should I do it? Should I tell him we are done? I want to, on one hand because the relationship is so far out of balance....but on the other hand I will miss him and will undoubtedly be lonely - even tho it is not the best relationship anyway. but something keeps me hanging on to him and him to me. I just don't understand.

thanks in advance.
Lorna

 

[diamanda]

Hi Lorna,

what would my life look like and be like if I tell D I didn't want to see him anymore
37.1 > 53

37.1 shows someone enclosed within the family. So if you tell him you don't want to see him anymore, you two will indeed split up, and each of you will remain within their familiar environments. And from there (53) things will continue on this path slowly but surely (= there won't be a reconciliation).

I also looked at 53.1

53.1 will show you what your answer is not, so your guy is not a lonely and cautious young man etc.

 

[Lana73123]

diamanda -
thank you for the reply. the answer really is clear. He goes his way and I go mine.

Any thoughts on a follow up question.... like "should I tell him to go away?" That's a yes/no question and I know that's something we're not supposed to do. Sometimes I have trouble converting into a solid question.

 

[Lana73123]

on interesting side note - I also asked the question - "what do I need to do to make myself more attractive to D" I got 42.1.5 (increase) changing to 23 (splitting apart).
I read someone's post on here where their interpretation of that was
<<< To increase your chances (42) physically meet him (1) to capture his heart(5) apart from the crowd (23). >>>
that was interesting because we are always only are either his house or mine - alone with no one else. so we are already doing that.
the 23 - Splitting Apart - that confused me as to how is that doing something that would bring him closer? could it be that I need to split apart from another part of my life (I am separated but not yet divorced) ?

 

[diamanda]

what do I need to do to make myself more attractive to D
42.1.5 > 23

Very interesting interpretation, the one about meet him + capture his heart + strip (<my addition!).
Or it could mean that if you try too hard (42.1) and are too kind (42.5) it won't go well.

It sounds like he does find you attractive as it is, attractiveness doesn't seem to be the issue.
From what you said, the issue is that he takes you for granted and doesn't really care much about you.

Suggestion for a question:
What attitude should I have towards him so that he starts being caring to me?

 

[Lana73123]

ohhhhh. I like that question!!! curious to see what Yi says to that!!

 

[Lana73123]

OK -----
I threw and got 51.1.5 (Shock) changing to 45 (gathering together).

so - shock. I like it He NEEDS to be shocked back into reality with me!!! lol So how does the gathering together fit in? Does it mean that the shock could come from seeing me out "gathered together" with friends /or simply bumping into him at the bar? Or how exactly does the 2nd hexagram related to the first?

 

[diamanda]

Yes I agree, he needs to be shocked!

The first time it happens, he will laugh it off (51.1).
So the shocks need to continue happening in short succession (and yet: "but nothing is lost" - so don't break up).

As to what that shock could be... only you can answer that question!
Something out of character for you, something opposite of what you normally do, unexpected.
E.g. a hypothetical example, if you never cancel dates with him, politely cancel one.

45 does point to gathering together socially (eg with friends, joining a large group etc).
Or, 45 could also mean here that the shocks will need to 'collect' first, before you see results.
Or even, 45 could mean that he will pull himself 'together' after that.

The hidden line in this case is 16.5, someone "with a sick heart".
I hope it means that he will then feel 'lovesick' for you!
Good luck if you decide to go through with this - keep up the shocks for a while!

 

[Lana73123]

Diamanda - that was awesome! A million thanks !!!!

 

[Lana73123]

The hidden line in this case is 16.5, someone "with a sick heart".

What exactly is a hidden line and how does one determine what the hidden line is?

 

[diamanda]

I call them 'hidden' lines, other people call them transitional lines, and there might be more names around about them. Obviously they are not a part of your answer, but sometimes they throw extra light, they add a certain 'flavour' to your reading.

I use them only when we have either 2, or 3 changing lines (not always, only when I need an extra flavour).
To find them, I'll use the example of 1.1.2 > 33
-- If only line 1.1 was changing, the resulting hexagram would be 44.
-- Since in our original answer also line 2 is changing, I go to hexagram 44 and look at line 44.2.
-- 44.2 is the 'hidden' line.
-- Note that if this was our only changing line (44.2) it still leads to 33.

It's like reaching the resulting hexagram through a somewhat internal manner, figuratively speaking.
Hope it makes sense!

 

[diamanda]

And I just noticed accidentally that the post I just wrote above was my 1000th! hooray!

 

[Lana73123]

ompom: Hooray!! lol

and thank you for that information. very interesting. I have so much to learn and want to learn so much!