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42.1.5 > 23 Confusing casts on romance

Retro158

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I'm confused about the following casts related to a woman who I've been very attracted to for several years. She recently messaged me to say she hoped I'd attend a social dance because it had been 'far too long.' I did, and we danced several times, ending with slow dance where she got very close. It felt wonderful - hard to let go, which I told her.

The connection felt as strong as ever, or stronger, although several times in the past I've been disappointed by feeling an intense connection that didn't really go anywhere. Maybe this time?

I asked Yi: Please comment on this continued strong attraction between us. Result: 61 uc

From looking at other posts, this seems to suggest looking within - that I know the answer about this. Hmmm? If so, I'm not seeing it.

The next day, I asked: Please comment further on how I can best hold my strong attraction for her and how to best proceed at this time. Result: 39.3 > 8.

This didn't seem very encouraging. Some sources suggest withdrawing, going back to the previous way of things, of danger. However, Karcher says something like 'Stay within at this time. Things are reversing and soon there will be reason to rejoice." So, is something going to turn around?

Later that same day, all this still occupying my thoughts, I asked: Romance with her? Please comment. Result: 42.1.5 > 23.

This seems a bit contradictory in that 42.1.5 seems very favorable, but 23 as almost the opposite. If seen in sequence it doesn't bode well, though most interpretations seem to view the second hexagram as contextual and not predictive.

I realize this attraction is one that has been extremely hard for me to let go of - and that I have a bias that makes is hard to see the guidance in these casts. To me, it seems like it could go either direction.

Last night, I got together with her and another friend for dinner, as we do occasionally. It was a nice evening and we interacted well, though I still feel rather tied up inside and anxious since things haven't worked out in the past. I'm also very reluctant to just be direct about this with her.

I'd like to think that the right relationship would unfold without a lot of internal strife. Perhaps my anxiety is more of a reading than the hexagrams - although that tends to be my nature in general - but still I'm confused by Yi's response.

I'll appreciate it if you see anything in this that might give me a bit more direction - or if there is another question you suggest I ask.

Thanks very much.
 
D

diamanda

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Hi retro,

Two additional questions I would ask would be:
a) What sort of relationship would she ideally like to have with me?
b) How can I act so as to form a relationship with her?

I'm logging off now, back tomorrow!
 

Retro158

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Thanks again, diamanda.

Here are the results of my casts for the two questions you suggested:

What kind of relationship does she want with me? 28 uc

How can I act so as to form a relationship with her? 3.1 > 8

The second cast is certainly easier for me to understand than the first! It seems to suggest not giving up, but also not pushing forward aggressively. 28 has always been a bit of a challenge to me - does it indicate things coming apart in destruction and 'stand clear' or be ready for a big transition. I'm not sure how it applies to this question and I'll appreciate your take on these.
 
D

diamanda

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Here are some thoughts on your casts:

Please comment on this continued strong attraction between us
61 uc

One of you feels protective of the other (obviously you), and she enjoys that.

Please comment further on how I can best hold my strong attraction for her and how to best proceed at this time
39.3 > 8

Very complicated phrasing! I don't understand the phrase 'how to hold my attraction'.
In any case the line describes someone who would like to make a move but can't, so they stay put.
So it probably means you'd like to make a move towards her but you just can't.

Romance with her? Please comment.
42.1.5 > 23

If you're trying to impress her with your achievements and your kind heart, it won't work out...

What kind of relationship does she want with me?
28 uc

A bizarre answer. The hexagram shows excessive masculinity, so excessive that it's not functioning.
She wants you to be more of an alpha male towards her?
She wants to frustrate you so that you end up making a grand manly gesture towards her?
Or maybe she prefers you to not want her (?).
Not sure...

How can I act so as to form a relationship with her? 3.1 > 8
Indeed this is clear, for now back off and ask the advice of people who know you both.
Don't act before you get advice.
 

equinox

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I asked Yi: Please comment on this continued strong attraction between us. Result: 61 uc

The Yi couldn't be more clear. 61 UC means ' sincerity' or 'truth' so obviously your heart is in the right place.
I think you can't do wrong here if you follow the truth of your heart. The guidance you are seeking for is located there. Maybe you even could have stopped asking the Yi at this point. I believe you don't have to be worried of hex 23 -- in the context of your readings it could mean that you have to tear down the wall that you built around your heart.

From what I read, I think it could work out eventually if you go with the flow. Good luck.
Edit: This also means that strategical thinking and acting is unappropriate here. If you want to take your very first result seriously. And 42.1.5>23 is suggesting the same.
 
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