43.6 > 1

[redoleander]

A friend of mine is psychic, it’s a very natural thing for her, I’ve witnessed many of her knowings come true over the years, from mundane stuff to bigger things. (We used to both do psychic work professionally but neither of us do exactly that anymore.)

She has a new relationship after a long time being single. She basically is struggling to trust this person. She does have attachment issues and trust issues and her own stuff going too. This makes it hard to distinguish for herself what is intuition and what is fear. Is she fearing this will happen? Or just sensing it?

I asked

“Is the end result always going to be him running off with someone” (her fear)​

and received 43.6 > 1

Not sure if it’s the question itself that’s causing problems but it leaves me with confusion about this line. On one hand it could be very straightforward

Cleary: No call; in the end there is misfortune.
Blofield: In the end, misfortune will come without warning.

I do also have the question of whether this could also be about her fear? That holding onto this fear could eventually leap up and cause irreconcilable problems between them?

Given your experience of the line, would you think this is simple confirmation of her intuition or perhaps speaking more to her mindset?

Normally I think intuition is trustworthy but I honestly relate to her so much and we have had similar struggles in the sense of often simply being intuitively correct but then at times, when it’s too personal, fear takes over. It’s so familiar to me, this conundrum, that I feel like even seeing this line makes me anxious!

 

[dfreed]

I asked, Is the end result always ....

My initial thought is, you're asking a yes/no question, which is fine in my view ... However, in this situation you're asking it about an 'always' and 'forever' thing (or outcome). I sense some advice in this reading - along with (or besides) a yes-or-no answer. But is that part of the response - or the interpretation - you're (also) looking for - perhaps to make her future/fate not so final?

And I'm wondering, are you asking so you can help / advice her (a response you will share with her), or is it just for you (maybe out of curiosity)?

Best, D.

 

[redoleander]

My initial thought is, you're asking a yes/no question, which is fine in my view ... However, in this situation you're asking it about an 'always' and 'forever' thing (or outcome). I sense some advice in this reading - along with (or besides) a yes-or-no answer. But is that part of the response - or the interpretation - you're (also) looking for - perhaps to make her future/fate not so final?

And I'm wondering, are you asking so you can help / advice her (a response you will share with her), or is it just for you (maybe out of curiosity)?

Best, D.

My initial thought is, you're asking a yes/no question, which is fine in my view ... However, in this situation you're asking it about an 'always' and 'forever' thing (or outcome). I sense some advice in this reading - along with (or besides) a yes-or-no answer. But is that part of the response - or the interpretation - you're (also) looking for - perhaps to make her future/fate not so final?

And I'm wondering, are you asking so you can help / advice her (a response you will share with her), or is it just for you (maybe out of curiosity)?

Best, D.

I’m asking because I felt conflicted on what to say to her. Normally I will tell friends to listen to their intuition because most people don’t trust themselves and then say they regret it later. But I felt I had to just stay neutral; what if I gave her poor feedback that would harm her. I honestly felt that I don’t really know the answer. I asked this I suppose for my knowing, in order to support her, not really sure if I’ll share the actual casting with her (definitely not until I at least understand it better anyway). She asked me for advice so I don’t feel I’m prying by looking into it (although Yi might feel differently!) but I guess I am hoping to use the information in a useful way if possible.

 

[my_key]

Alfred Huang writes of 43.6

The topmost line is a yin element representing evil. With a long record of misdeeds, it can call no helpers to it's aid. There is misfortune. The ancient sages believed that if one plants melons, one reaps melons, and when one sows beans one gets beans.

Your question does sound a bit awkward. The phrasing of question may not be helping you to interpret and so find a way to understanding the conflict you are feeling about what to say.

Sometimes it can be useful to reflect on what are your motivations (even when asked) for wanting to intervene in someone else's life. That can also be an insightful question to ask Yi.

Good Luck

 

[dfreed]

I asked, “Is the end result always going to be him running off with someone” (her fear)?
.... and received 43.6 > 1

With Hex. 43 you have the joining together of the Creative and the Joyous trigrams (3-line figures). One line from 43 which seems relevant is:

​

"... not favorable for espousing violence ...." And line 43.6 says: ​

​

There is no cry[ing]. Ultimately disastrous. (based on Rutt) ​

One way I see this is that your friend may have unfinished grief or unresolved feelings of loss - or the fear of facing this loss (not yet crying); and perhaps too, if she approaches this as if it's a war or battle, it may not be winnable (not favorable for espousing violence). Perhaps this is the "unfinished business" she needs to resolve - to get to Yes, where she (and he) can both stop running. ( .... also, with Hex. 1 being part of this reading, I wonder if her unfinished business may be related to her father?)

The upper trigram, Dui / Lake is about joy - and finding joy; I also associate it with our hearts (the one broken line atop top solid lines look like a heart to me). And sometimes it seems, we find joy even if we start from a place of broken-heartedness. This reminded me of:

​

" .... overcoming that very hard and tough, aggressive mentality which wards off any gentleness that might come into our hearts. Fear does not allow fundamental tenderness to enter into us. When tenderness tinged by sadness touches our heart, we know that we are in contact with reality."​

---------from "The Tender Heart of the Warrior" by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

I hope that's of use to you - and if it is, the challenge may be how to share it with your friend. (But I trust you can figure it out.)

Best, D

https://www.lionsroar.com/the-tender-heart-of-the-warrior/

 

[redoleander]

Alfred Huang writes of 43.6

Your question does sound a bit awkward. The phrasing of question may not be helping you to interpret and so find a way to understanding the conflict you are feeling about what to say.

Sometimes it can be useful to reflect on what are your motivations (even when asked) for wanting to intervene in someone else's life. That can also be an insightful question to ask Yi.

Good Luck

Thank you, this is very helpful.

 

[diamant]

Is the end result always going to be him running off with someone” (her fear)
A strangely phrased question.
Do you mean if that's her destiny in life? If her fear is causing them to cheat?
A cheating partner cheats because they're a cheater.
I'm not a cheater, so if I get together with someone who fears that, it will definitely not turn me into a cheater. It's not her fear that is turning others into cheaters. What's most probably happening is that she chooses to ignore red flags till it's too late.

43.6 > 1
No 'cry' (or no tiger's howl / number / mark / sign).
Someone doesn't manage to overthrow the 'inferior' line, so it all starts over (1). There is no decisiveness. In the end there is misfortune.
Something is definitely wrong with the situation.
Perhaps a more straightforward question will give you more insight.

 

[redoleander]

With Hex. 43 you have the joining together of the Creative and the Joyous trigrams. One line from 43 that stands out for me - and seems relevant is:

​

"... not favorable for espousing violence ...." And line 43.6 says: ​

​

There is no cry[ing]. Ultimately disastrous. (based on Rutt) ​

One way I see this is that your friend may have unfinished grief or unresolved feelings of loss - or the fear of facing this loss (not yet crying); and perhaps too, if she approaches this as if it's a war or battle, it may not be winnable (not favorable for espousing violence). Perhaps this is the "unfinished business" she needs to resolve - to get to Yes, she (and then he) can stop running now. ( .... also, with Hex. 1 being part of this reading, I wonder if her unfinished business may be related to her father?)

The upper trigram, Dui / Lake is about joy - and finding joy; I also associate it with the heart (the one broken line atop top solid lines look like a heart to me). And sometimes it seems, we find joy even if we start from a place of broken-heartedness - and this reminded me of:

​

" .... overcoming that very hard and tough, aggressive mentality which wards off any gentleness that might come into our hearts. Fear does not allow fundamental tenderness to enter into us. When tenderness tinged by sadness touches our heart, we know that we are in contact with reality."​

---------from "The Tender Heart of the Warrior" by Chogyam Trungpa Rinpoche

I hope that's of use to you - and if it is, the challenge may be how to share it with your friend?

Best, D

Wow, yes, “tenderness tinged by sadness” as reality, that is so resonant.

I agree that there is unmet grief there. And this is why I am so cautious because I have this too and as I get older I am learning that things can be handled so many different ways. Suspicion is not always protective. And, then again, sometimes it is.

so far, I think interpretations of the reading are showing me that my role is probably what I have already been doing, just listening and asking questions. As much as she wants to know, and as much as I would want to give her a definite answer, there may simply not be one. But I can always be someone who both supports her intuition and keeps an open mind that intuition can point to any number of different things at the root.

I’m sure that will continue to unfold, still open to hearing anything anyone else has to share, and I’m not going to rush to tell her anything because it seems unhelpful.

 

[redoleander]

Is the end result always going to be him running off with someone” (her fear)
A strangely phrased question.
Do you mean if that's her destiny in life? If her fear is causing them to cheat?
A cheating partner cheats because they're a cheater.
I'm not a cheater, so if I get together with someone who fears that, it will definitely not turn me into a cheater. It's not her fear that is turning others into cheaters. What's most probably happening is that she chooses to ignore red flags till it's too late.

43.6 > 1
No 'cry' (or no tiger's howl / number / mark / sign).
Someone doesn't manage to overthrow the 'inferior' line, so it all starts over (1). There is no decisiveness. In the end there is misfortune.
Something is definitely wrong with the situation.
Perhaps a more straightforward question will give you more insight.

Yes, I see the question is oddly phrased. Definitely don’t want that to factor into the confusion. I meant just this specific relationship. Her feeling is that if she trusts this person, he’ll run off eventually even if not right away. Just a feeling she has about him. I’m not sure if it’s a fear though since it’s sort of vague. He somewhat has an odd dating history but not exactly as a cheater. More just as someone who hasn’t been very mature in dating. My intention was to ask essentially “is she right in her intuition”. That’s what I was asking even if I worded it badly. And then receiving this line kind of stunned me because of what the actual line says.

 

[dfreed]

I’m asking because I felt conflicted on what to say to her .... She asked me for advice so I don’t feel I’m prying by looking into it.

"How" and "what" we ask the Yi are ongoing questions / discussions (even debates). My sense is that the Yi responds to us, answers our questions, gives us advice .... and how we 'ask' that can take many - even imperfect - forms. For example, if you had just blurted out, "My Friend! Relationships!" I think you'd get a response - and I assume a useful one.

I also think the Yi responds both to our exact questions (or statements) AND to our unspoken - even not-fully-formed, or imperfect - questions we have in our hearts and minds. It's a bit of a mystery for me as to which, and how an oracle does that.

My questions to you were to help me understand what you wanted and needed - and perhaps, what are the 'real' questions you're asking? Did you just want a yes/no answer: e.g. "Yep, men will keep running from your friend forever" .... of did you want more insight about her situation? From your response to me, I assumed the latter.

Best, D

 

[dfreed]

I am so cautious because I have this too

As do I, so I know how delicate this situation - and our hearts and minds - can be.

 

[diamant]

Her feeling is that if she trusts this person, he’ll run off eventually even if not right away.
Trust is something which has to be earned. How about she first observes, and decide much later (and based on facts) if she can trust him or not? There must be something off about him if she can already feel alarm bells, in my opinion. How long have they been together?

PS/edited - what we call intuition is always a vague feeling. Our brains compute endless info-bits per minute, and so they know things before our logic gets there.

 

[redoleander]

Her feeling is that if she trusts this person, he’ll run off eventually even if not right away.
Trust is something which has to be earned. How about she first observes, and decide much later (and based on facts) if she can trust him or not? There must be something off about him if she can already feel alarm bells, in my opinion. How long have they been together?

PS/edited - what we call intuition is always a vague feeling. Our brains compute endless info-bits per minute, and so they know things before our logic gets there.

Yes, agree about intuition! It’s exactly that. We wait for “proof” but then what’s the point of intuition; it’s able to work differently and come to an awareness via different pathways and in different timing.

I do, actually, think something is off. He seems a bit immature. There was something he told a half-truth about early on, I think to impress her, it’s nothing actually truly terrible but it has also planted a seed I think. They’ve been dating for a few months, I can’t clearly remember the exact amount of time. They dated before the pandemic then stopped and now are dating again; this time it’s been I think 3-4 months.

 

[marybluesky]

It's tricky to say that someone will certainly do a bad thing at some point just by divination;

however the I Ching's message is clear if we're to trust it: there will be misfortune in the end- and probably without warning.

 

[redoleander]

It's tricky to say that someone will certainly do a bad thing at some point just by divination;

however the I Ching's message is clear if we're to trust it: there will be misfortune in the end- and probably without warning.

I know, it's hard to look away from that part. I'm definitely sitting with that. Sometimes an answer is so clear it's almost spooky and I wonder if a trickster is actually trying to get me to look deeper or it's just really that straightforward. I appreciate your comment; I honestly feel similarly.

 

[marybluesky]

What did your friend do redolander?

 

[redoleander]

I was just thinking about this thread the other day and wanting to update. It did not work out with them. I wish I could say something really definitive; as far as I know (as far as she knows), he did not cheat on her which was her concern but they had a fight and then he ended things really abruptly. She thinks he went off with someone else immediately (flew to another city and was evasive about why etc) and basically dropped her completely after this one fight they had. It was hurtful for her.

I think, in a way, the line was true. She definitely did get hurt in the end. The question of whether or not her own fears played a part is sort of unanswerable (to me) because it’s a big “what if” (what if she had trusted him fully). Ultimately, it did have a sudden hurtful end and maybe that’s what the line meant. She thinks he did suddenly go off with someone else and honestly she’s probably right. So not the exact scenario as she had been concerned with but pretty similar.

Edit: I just looked at DeKorne’s site to spot-compare translations and saw this

“Shaughnessy: There is no crying out; in the winter there is inauspiciousness.” It did end in early winter

And commentary: “Legge: The subject of the sixth line, standing above, may be easily disposed of.” Yes, that is true. It was surprising because he has really strongly pursued her.

“Wing: Danger comes from a seed of evil in your own Self, perhaps a self-delusion or conceit that blinds you. Just when you feel you may relax your resolve and continue without helpers, it will cause you to err. Misfortune.”

This is the part that is a question mark for me.

 

[my_key]

“Wing: Danger comes from a seed of evil in your own Self, perhaps a self-delusion or conceit that blinds you. Just when you feel you may relax your resolve and continue without helpers, it will cause you to err. Misfortune.”

43 meaning 'breaking through - the strong breaks through the supple'
1 meaning 'being strong'

So 1 here is the context and the nuclear (a double whammy of 1-ness), carrying with it your challenge to stay vibrant and to engage unceasingly with new inspiration. In this way you will bring about the breakthrough. Otherwise if you are not up to the challenge there will be misfortune waiting around the corner for you.

At 43.1 you are just beginning to attract to you the new internal disciplines and awareness that will allow you to become forceful enough to eliminate some of the negative characteristics that you hold onto. You have to understand something new and make changes before you can even consider going forward. You just don't have the right tools for the job at the moment. In your current situation you are running out of wriggle room and as well you cannot leave behind what is holding you stuck.

...or it might mean nothing at all like this for you.

Good Luck

 

[redoleander]

So 1 here is the context and the nuclear (a double whammy of 1-ness), carrying with it your challenge to stay vibrant and to engage unceasingly with new inspiration. In this way you will bring about the breakthrough. Otherwise if you are not up to the challenge there will be misfortune waiting around the corner for you.

I could see this making sense because I believe they were stuck in a bit of a loop communication-wise. It’s impossible for me to really know fully because one person’s experience of a conversation is just one small piece of the info. But, that stickiness/stuckness caused them to fight and then he left. Perhaps it was just too challenging a situation for the moment. I’m not sure. Seeing things as new in each moment is a big challenge in all relationships I think so it’s interesting to think about it in this context.