44.2.4->53 Advice for possible romance...

[WanderingRaven]

This is my first post as a member, but I have been ghosting as a visitor for a while, enjoying the insightful commentary and discussion of the I Ching, which has interested me for quite some time.

I did a reading today that has me, well, confused.

The situation is I have a coworker who I am attracted to, and, from all signs from her, is attracted to me. Yet when I ask or suggest things that might confirm this, the answer is always vague, neither yes nor no. And odd coincidences (for lack of a better word) keep happening to prevent any clarity.

So I asked for advice on romance and the possibility of a relationship, and got 44.2.4, transitioning to 53.

The surface part of it, "don't marry a strong willed woman", is maddening because the woman I am attracted to is very strong willed, which is part of why I like her. I've found strength in others helps awaken and enrich my own strength.

The deeper meaning, from what I can fathom, is one of danger, which...is weird, in that, honestly, I can't figure out the source of this danger, and the image depicted seems to be one who can't figure out the source of danger.

If I'm reading the commentary on this correctly, the best course is to keep an open mind, and not try to move in any direction, but rather let whatever play out? Or have I misread?

I'm rather confused, and any insights and ideas would be welcomed. I seem to be stuck in that common position of getting a response that accurately describes the problem, but for which the answer remains cloudy.

Anyway, any ideas or suggestions welcomed, and it is good to finally join here

-WanderingRaven

 

[sooo]

Greetings, Raven. Please tell Granny I send my love to her.

About your reading: no doubt you're likely to be advised to give up your hopes of wooing this strong woman, but I think it depends where and how you grab her, or more correctly, grasp her. Going after her is not a good strategy, but abiding in your own dignity may draw her to you. She needs to feel that it's her decision, and that she is in control. However, a man may be able to woo her, assuming you've got the goods that wet her appetite.

 

[WanderingRaven]

Sooo,

Thank you for your advice-that is an interesting way of seeing this situation, and one that definitely fits what I am starting to see.

Something tells me that the danger is less in the person, but in the possibility of losing my center in pursuit of another. Readings often grow on me over time, and this one, and your insight, seems to guide in that direction.

As to your grandmother, all respect to the learned who dwell among us. I may not know her directly, but I will definitely whisper a name in the fatherly one's ear. Perhaps Wind will carry it to her

-WanderingRaven

 

[blue_angel]

I see this reading a little differently, although sooo's advice is good as well. I do see a need for balance, however.

53 step by step, gradual advances, to 44 meeting a strong woman. For 44, I think the warning is not to be so enticed by her that you can't think clearly. Also to make sure you have good intentions.

Line 2- you've got all the fish in the bag. You have or had a chances. But you need to remain confident. Free from doubt. Free from allowing others to cause you to doubt.

Line 4- you lose your fish. You show lack of interest or you stop making gradual advances. Not aggressive advances but gradual.

Your reading can also be speaking of other circumstances in your life. So the need to take others into consideration, "not burn any bridges" yet carry on with your goals or intentions.

As for a strong woman. If she is indeed a strong woman, then she most likely has many tasks and responsibilities already in her life. She has to make many decisions with confidence so I would think if she's interested in a man, he would need to be confident and strong himself. As well as considerate of her. She's not looking for another "task" or "responsibility". She's looking for a teammate. Someone who can also make confident decisions. That's if she's a balanced, strong woman.

Blue_Angel

 

[Trojina]

I think your reading gives advice to take it all much much slower. I say this due to 53 where things cannot be rushed and proper courtship procedures must be observed....and I say it due to 44.2 where I think it's akin to there being something in the relationship but it is not time to make announcements about it....keep it hidden. If you are too pushy here you will lose her.

I don't see the 44 as her, I see it as your attitude to her which is what you asked about. You are being too pushy , slow down. If you don't there will be nothing there (44.4)

She may like a much slower pace with all the niceties of courtship. Why not try very modest invitations that gradual courtship would involve...like er lunch together and so on.

Crossed posts with Blue Angel but see we agree....take it slow. 53 is an excellent omen here....don't mess it up by grasping....be cool, measured but gently persistent in kind thoughtful ways....and so on.

 

[blue_angel]

Yes, agree. Courtship. SLOW gradual advances. Lunch sounds good to me.

 

[WanderingRaven]

I appreciate the advice-each piece has been spot on.

I can see a bit more clearly now that haste right now would be a mistake: I was seeing lack of clarity as a bad sign, but looking at it from the new angles, it seems more that the urge to have clarity too soon is a mistake. Ambiguity at the beginning can just mean that it needs time.

So far I have been moving cautiously, and I was afraid I was being too cautious, but if slow and steady progress is the most harmonious way forward given the forces at work and how this is unfolding (this is one of the background questions for me in pretty much any I Ching reading), I can definitely embrace that.

Thank you, each of you, for sharing your insights. This makes the situation much clearer.

-WanderingRaven