44 unchanging and desire to stop hormonal contraception

[Missy_M]

Hello everyone! I'm new here, I'll be very pleased to meet whoever would like to share their view on my reading. Sorry for my English but I'm not a native speaker.

It's gonna be long (but engaging I think ) thanks to who will read:
I'm 26 and in a 1.5 years relationship. I was never really fond of hormonal birth control (because it felt to me like deminishingy femininity), but since my partner wants to be extra careful about preventing pregnancy, I made a cost-benefit analysis and thought I could give it a try. I started a bit more that one year ago, but I just started noticing that I may be having some heavy psychological side effects (both on cognition and emotion). In particular, one thing I hate is that it made me feel more insecure and jealous. This of course is impacting on my relationship (more for me than him, cause I tend not to feed the negative emotions when I'm with him). Other then that, I get leg pain sometimes and my veins are showing. So for me TIME TO CHANGE (I would like to quit it and go to back to condom and, if it's not enough to make him feel safe, couple it with fertility awareness or copper coil).
The thing is I'm trying to do it to ease some pain I feel in my relationship. I've never been jealous before and now I'm so suspicious and alert. I don't like it.
So I asked Yi about quitting the pill, and the first time I got hex 27 changing to 44. Hex 27 sounded to me like "be careful to what you ingest - quit it", but the changing line was already going in a different direction and almost looked to me like I should not quit it, and then hex 44 seemed like another "don't do it".
So I continued asking cause... How could an oracle suggest to go on in taking synthetic hormones that are clearly giving me negative side effects?
Answers were never clear and always sublty hinting at not quitting it. I also got hex 15-stilling. So I started thinking on hex 44. The "strong woman" and particularly Hilary's interpretation about something seductive made me think that what the oracle was actually trying to tell me was something like: "the idea that every problem will go away quitting the pill is seducing you but it's a wrong one", then also thought about 51 and thought ok, time to stop and analyse the situation in depth. So I went asking about trusting my boyfriend and got positive and very clear answers, that showed me possible directions. I did it to kinda figure out the situation that was leading me to the desire of quitting birth control. Very useful and I really think it was what the oracle was suggesting me to do... So I then went back asking about the pill (cause in any case I think I'll have to quit it) and got hex 44 again, this time unchanging.
In the end I'm settling on this interpretation: the idea of going off the pill is seducing, you can do it (Hilary's: "Perhaps you will embrace her briefly, and let your life be transformed by the encounter.") but don't think it will solve all problems (Hilary's: "But you cannot take her or marry her.), and keep working. And the whole process makes sense as well: at the beginning I just wasn't getting it, now after the whole reflecting on the relationship, I get it.
What do you think about this journey?
Thank you for reading the whole thing.

 

[marybluesky]

Hello Missy,

It was more helpful if you wrote your different casts separately with changing lines.

How could an oracle suggest to go on in taking synthetic hormones that are clearly giving me negative side effects?

You shouldn't ask oracle about something you find clearly wrong.

And in your case, the pills have pretty heavy side effects. Don't forget that your health is your priority. A partner with the least amount of responsibility and empathy should be concerned about your health. It is only you that pay price now, and dearly. It should change.

Talk with your partner. I don't like to speak like this, but if he insists on you using pills after being informed about its harmful effects (changing the natural course of your chemicals is harmful anyway) or suggests another way that affects you more than him again, think twice about the worth of your relationship.

 

[moss elk]

I got hex 27 changing to 44. Hex 27 sounded to me like "be careful to what you ingest - quit it", but the changing line was already going in a different direction and almost looked to me like I should not quit it

Now see here, Missy,
you received 5 changing lines.

It is interesting how you talk about the feelings of jealousy, because line 1 is about
'desirous jealousy of another/what another has'

Line 4 is the alertness and suspicion you have been experiencing. (Others would perceive you as a Tiger when you are in that state)

The other three lines are about you not getting/dismissing what does nourish you.

I agree with your 1st take:
The hormones you are ingesting (27) may be undermining (44) your psychological/emotional integrity/health

 

[Missy_M]

Hello Missy,

It was more helpful if you wrote your different casts separately with changing lines.


You shouldn't ask oracle about something you find clearly wrong.

And in your case, the pills have pretty heavy side effects. Don't forget that your health is your priority. A partner with the least amount of responsibility and empathy should be concerned about your health. It is only you that pay price now, and dearly. It should change.

Talk with your partner. I don't like to speak like this, but if he insists on you using pills after being informed about its harmful effects (changing the natural course of your chemicals is harmful anyway) or suggests another way that affects you more than him again, think twice about the worth of your relationship.

Thank you for your concern! Yes, I thought of asking about one cast only but then I went in "stream of consciousness mode" and just wrote it all. Just to say that for him it is a matter of anxiety, it's not like "I don't want to use the condom" in fact, we use it anyway even if on the pill! So the responsibility is shared. But yes, I understand and agree, I get the heaviest part anyway.
Sure, I'm going to quit it anyway, booking a doctor appointment tomorrow.