44 unchanging - relationship

[nike michel]

Hello. My boyfriend and I ended a long-distance relation 3 weeks ago. I miss him but we have not talked since he decided to break up. It was not a good closure. My question to the I Ching was: "Has love gone?"
The answer was 44 unchanging. My interpretation is that I will most likely not see him or hear from him anymore.
Do I see this right? Thanks.

 

[rosada]

As a general rule unchanging hexagrams mean the situation does not change.
The image for 44 is of Wind blowing freely under Heaven and there is a warning against becoming ensnared. In answer to your question it suggests the feeling of love if not gone is certainly not anchored. Perhaps it means he was just looking around and not serious about committing/settling down or perhaps you are being encouraged to enjoy your new freedom, move about, meet lots of new and interesting souls and don't get stuck in this emotional trap.

 

[radiofreewill]

Hi nike michel,

Welcome to Clarity!

I think your read is correct. Hexagram 44uc (Encounter) suggests that he met someone else, probably local, or at least more accessible.

My advice is to love yourself, and take some time to process your feelings, but keep moving and stay social.

I hope this helps!

 

[nike michel]

Thank you Rosada. I have read somewhere that 44 often means coming to meet or going to meet, as when we go someplace to do something or meet someone. And I thought that sometimes we get the static hexagram because none of the moving lines applies to us. But I appreciate your interpretation and definitely do not want to get stuck in emotional traps.

 

[nike michel]

Thank you radiofreewill - there is not a new encounter in his life for now, but thanks for your reading and advice.

 

[rosada]

Hi nike,
Further thoughts ( warning, 44. threads tend to go on and on):
I think 44 makes sense if you think of as a warning not to let unconscious drives derail your conscious intention. "The Maiden (the unconscious) is powerful". One of our most powerful - if not THE most powerful - unconscious drives we have is to procreate so I read the lines of 44 as a lecture on the importance of using birth control - don't let those little fish out of the basket, we don't want any uninvited guests! (44.5 however seems to say that if one does happen to become pregnant then, what the heck, welcome the little bundle of joy.) As a response to your question, "Has love gone?" I think 44 is saying you'd like to be in love, you are searching now for a suitable person to give your love to, and this makes you very vulnerable. You must be careful not to - like the song says - be looking for love in all the wrong places.

 

[nike michel]

Hi Rosada, thanks for your new ideas. I do not see any birth control or possible pregnancy issue here. But I like your warning on the powerful Maiden-unconscious drive, and I think it gets along with your previous reading: warning me against becoming ensnared + getting stuck in an emotional trap. I do feel stuck indeed and I can't stop thinking of this guy and hoping that there will be a sort of homecoming. I know that 44 is a very negative hex though. I think 44 also means he was not serious about committing, as you suggested before. Thanks again

 

[rosada]

I've found a big help for getting unstuck is to rearrange the furniture. It forces you to wake up and look at your world with fresh eyes. In feng shui there is a saying, "Change 25 thing in your house and you will change your life."

 

[bradford]

Restrain yourself. Get a grip.

 

[nike michel]

Rosada and Bradford: your advice and encouragements are much appreciated!

 

[withoutfault25]

I get this hexagram when the basis of the relationship is not based on anything solid, doesn't require the emotional investment I put into it. Best wishes on whatever happens, though

 

[nike michel]

Thanks for sharing your experience, Withoutfault25. All the best