47 uc and 42.3.5.6>36 not sure if this is a relationship question

[slowcheetah]

I recently became friends with an exboyfriend. I still like him, but I realised that, for better or worse, when you really like somebody you still enjoy their company even if it's not the kind of company you desire. So we've been talking a lot and it's really fun and interesting, for both of us I think.

Anyways, i'm visiting the city where he lives in (where we met since I used to study here). It's most likely that we meet casually so I asked the Yi "what do I need to know about our relationship?" just on case I needed to know something and got 47 uc. ...I get that we're not coming back together but I wasn't even thinking about that when I asked. If anything I thought about "relationship" because if we're friends there IS a relationship, right?

So I asked "what's going on between us?" And got 42.3.5.6. I'm in peace with him, I'm really not forcing him to come back and I really enjoy his company. So I don't understand why both readings look so negative. Line 6 specially sounded in my head as if I was trying to take advantage of him or something and line 3 sounds as if this friendship thing was something bad with benefits. Help?

 

[rosada]

Hexagram 47 uc.
Hexagram 42.3.5.6 > hexagram 36.

"What do I need to know about our relationship?"
47 uc.
Hexagram 47 means Confinement. Perhaps you are being cautioned that there are limits to this connection and that while you are enjoying being friends now, if you find your self wishing for more you'll feel frustrated. However when one is confined they can go within and find contentment there, so perhaps this hexagram is saying that while your relationship is limited you can be okay with that.

"What is going on between us?"
42.3.5.6 > 36.
Hexagram 42 means Increase and lines 3 and 5 are very positive referencing the enjoyment you two are experiencing in each others' company but line 42.6 says this Increase is not built on anything solid.

These two readings aren't encouraging for romance but as you say you are not interested in romance but just enjoying the time you spend together, I would read them as simply cautioning you not to assume too much. Don't think that because you aren't suitable as lovers but do enjoy being friends that this means you are going to be life long friends. Be careful for your heart because even for friendship there is no commitment here.

 

[slowcheetah]

That doesn't as tragic as it was in my mind. Thanks!

 

[Trojina]

I recently became friends with an exboyfriend. I still like him, but I realised that, for better or worse, when you really like somebody you still enjoy their company even if it's not the kind of company you desire. So we've been talking a lot and it's really fun and interesting, for both of us I think.

Anyways, i'm visiting the city where he lives in (where we met since I used to study here). It's most likely that we meet casually so I asked the Yi "what do I need to know about our relationship?" just on case I needed to know something and got 47 uc. ...I get that we're not coming back together but I wasn't even thinking about that when I asked. If anything I thought about "relationship" because if we're friends there IS a relationship, right?

So I asked "what's going on between us?" And got 42.3.5.6. I'm in peace with him, I'm really not forcing him to come back and I really enjoy his company. So I don't understand why both readings look so negative. Line 6 specially sounded in my head as if I was trying to take advantage of him or something and line 3 sounds as if this friendship thing was something bad with benefits. Help?

I think there's a caution that if one of you secretly does want more than friendship and by the look of 42.3.5.6>36 I'd think that likely, then that person is going to feel stifled from being open about what they want.

I feel 42.6 can be very much a line of 'wanting your cake and eating it'. Come to think of it that's a pretty weird saying. Generally speaking though if person a is still invested and wanting more than friendship and the person b just wants friendship it is quite likely that person a will pretend to only want friendship in order just to go on having contact. At this point it is often kinder if person b just withdraws because it is so easy for person a to interpret friendliness as much more, especially if it's an ex.

You have cast both 47 and 36. Despite you saying it's really fun there's actually a lot more repression of feelings going on here than that ! Whether that's on your part or his part I don't know.

Asking what you needed to know about the relationship ? 47uc well I'd think there's a lot that isn't being said and there's a sense of cramping and confinement about not being understood, not being heard or simply feeling one cannot be true about one's own reality. So there is a heaviness here of some kind.

You then asked what is going on between you and got 42.3.5.6>36. Well what is going on between you is more and more energy is being poured in to what is between you. This is 42, increase, a time for things to be fulsome and generous and developing. Hmm that contrasts a great deal with 47 and it also contrasts with 36. Hearing you this is the 42ness of it

So we've been talking a lot and it's really fun and interesting, for both of us I think.

That sound like the lines in 42, hopeful, enjoyable, expanding, so why line 6, why 47, why 36 ? Clearly there's more than meets the eye here. I don't think you can go into this without being aware that behind the fun and the chat there's also wounds and possibly hidden feelings even hidden agendas, that's the 36. This doesn't mean it's not good to meet up, there clearly is still a great deal of goodness and caring here, see line 42.5 BUT there's also darker, more hidden, more painful emotions behind all this.

I think the 42.6 might be a scenario where, in the midst of getting along well and so on, one of you almost leads the other on to expect more and hence the misfortune in line 6. I think there's a lot of good stuff there in the relationship but also much sensitivity is needed that old hurts aren't renewed.

Now I don't know which way around it is, who split up with who or anything, but hypothetically...I'll go back to person a and person b again it could be this way.

Person b is over person a but likes their company and wants to see them

Person a isn't so much over person b and jumps at the chance of being friends. Person a is very careful (36 and 47) not to show their feelings for fear of jeopardising the friendship but inside a little hope is building up after every chat they have that works well.

They have much to share and there is goodwill between them. (42.5) Indeed it almost looks like a viable relationship before they were exes, at least to one of them(42.3) Person a behaves very well and never lets person b suspect they want more than friendship(36), maybe they don't even admit to themselves they want more. (47)

Person b starts to fail to be sensitive to the feelings of person a. All person b wants is to have fun with person a and so on, they are doing it for their own enjoyment but they are not taking into account the other person's, person a's reality at all, they are being somewhat selfish. It may not look like they are being selfish, they may not recognize it as selfish but it is (42.6). Hence if they are to meet and so on person b really needs to make sure they consider person a's feelings fully.



Good Grief that's nearly a novel. In detail, direction and gist of course I could be wrong but I do think with both 36, 47 and 42.6 someone's feelings could stand to get hurt and sensitivity is needed. I have no idea if you are person a or person b although you present yourself as person b you may not be given feelings are tricksy things at times.

 

[Trojina]

I got my person a and person b totally muddled will have to edit