48 and 40 in communication

[rosetyler]

Lots of my questions are about communication in relationships. Not face to face communication, but distance communication. Hmm. How much this says about me and my intimacy issues.

Anyway, I wanted to run some things by other people and see if you've noticed this.

If a text or email is on the way I'll get 40 unchanging. Seems obvious enough.

Emails often seem denoted by 48.

48,2 is - some block to communication or no email/text sent (as can be 32.4)

48.5 is obviously- email/text arrived.

Yesterday I was expecting communication from my friend. Baffled to get 48.2. Thought it was referring to the relationship between us and felt sad. Then got 48.1-5 earlier. Looked in my inbox and lo and behold that he had actually emailed me yesterday but it took a whole day to arrive.

Any feedback on anyone else's experiences?
Though as I post this I think I should be examining why so much crucial connection in my lifer is based around "should I contact him first/wait for him to contact me?"

 

[Tohpol]

Though as I post this I think I should be examining why so much crucial connection in my lifer is based around "should I contact him first/wait for him to contact me?"

You took the words right out of my mouth...or hands. So what's the answer?

Topal

 

[rosetyler]

Erm...am wondering if it is something to do with how I was silent in my family life for a long time growing up.

A therapist recently said our family sounded a bit like a cult because we didn't question things.

Although my career/life is based around communication (I work as a writer/performer and was in radio for many years) I have major problems believing that I am entitled to be heard by people in intimate relationships.

I asked the I ching why "should I contact him/wait?" was such a common issue for me and got;

41,1,6 to 7.

Hmm. Can anyone help shed any light?
Is it something about me holding back my instincts because I'm afraid of my impact on others even though I do want connection and to move forward.
Sounds like I'm more afraid of how I'll impact them than how they'll impact me. Can that be right?

 

[Tohpol]

Erm...am wondering if it is something to do with how I was silent in my family life for a long time growing up.

A therapist recently said our family sounded a bit like a cult because we didn't question things.

Although my career/life is based around communication (I work as a writer/performer and was in radio for many years) I have major problems believing that I am entitled to be heard by people in intimate relationships.

I asked the I ching why "should I contact him/wait?" was such a common issue for me and got;

41,1,6 to 7.

Hmm. Can anyone help shed any light?
Is it something about me holding back my instincts because I'm afraid of my impact on others even though I do want connection and to move forward.
Sounds like I'm more afraid of how I'll impact them than how they'll impact me. Can that be right?

Well, I'll step right back on this one Rose T. as I remember - more or less - your history.
Here's my take: 41 says simplify, economize and don't spread yourself too thinly. Our needs are strong but they become an impediment to progress if we start to rely exclusively on any one person, especially if it is to their detriment.

Line 1 by all means lend/receive support, advice, exchange, but not to the extent it depletes the energy of the other or yourself. Line 6 repeats that idea that right now, it's time to be of service to others. Decentralise yourself. Don't become obsessive. So, in a sense, you're right you have to be a bit careful here and just let go a bit. It's not that there's anything "wrong" with you, you just need to heed 41 by having less emotional resources to dive into and keeping things on an even keel. It's kinda like saying to yourself: "Geeze not everything is about YOU!"

But this decrease in needs, and emotional ties isn't forever. Butcha gotta recognise it for it to allow an increase, in a balanced way to return. The intimacy isn't quite there yet but it'll return. So, this is about sharing in the right way prior to something more intense. Step by step. 7 seems to confirm this sense of independence and taking yourself in hand to regulate and accumulate sufficient energy to go forward when the time is right.

That's the way I read it (disclaimer reminder always in tow )

Maybe WF and others have something to add.

Topal