51.2 > 54 will x betray me

[MoonCatcher]

Hey guys! I haven't been here for a while. I decided to stop casting during my pregnancy.

Well the birth is 2 weeks away... I had my best friend visit me here in Spain and he's said some things about my partner that have really upset me. So I turned to the Yi.

He advised me to not get married because he thinks x has anger issues, is terrible with money and additionally will cheat on me eventually because he has a habit of telling white lies about things in general. (He witnessed him lying to his boss about something trivial)

I feel his judgement is a bit harsh but now I can't sleep because I feel sick from being so upset. Maybe my friend is right and I'm in a mess. Or maybe he's being too judgemental.

I asked the Yi "will x betray me in the future?"

I got 51.2 > 54

Maybe the shock is reflecting how I feel now? Line two pointing to a loss of some sort. 54 - im stuck in an incompatible relationship?

Any advice on this casting would be great

 

[rosada]

Aw shucks. How awful to have this to deal with at a time when all you should be thinking about is butterflies and rainbows! My first reaction is to ask were you planning to get married in the near future? Can this whole decision be delayed a bit until you are feeling more able to focus?

Meanwhile it seems to me Shock - Marrying Maiden could be interpreted as some sort of shocking event that has you feeling powerless, but the line itself says whatever is lost is returned or replaced with something better. . Hmmm... maybe the I Ching is saying there's no guarantee your partner wont shock you now and then but you'll be able to deal with it.

Sound encouraging but personally if my best friend felt to warn me about anything I would give the warning careful consideration. But this wouldn't mean you have to break it off with the baby's father. You might use this as an opportunity to tell your prospective spouse that you will not marry him until the two of you have taken an anger management workshop together.

I don't know if your partner really does have anger issues but the fact that you were disturbed by your friend's observation makes me think that you may feel he does too. People who demonstrate anger and who feel they have to lie have self esteem issues. They think they aren't good enough because can't tolerate mistakes, their own or someone else's. Because they don't have faith in themselves they feel they have to shout or lie to get what they need. Don't think that you can change him by simply "loving" him. Because they don't love themselves these people will not respect anyone who does love them and will treat those who love them with even more abuse. Hopefully by taking anger management classes or practicing yoga or meditation or watching a video or doing something the person can gain enough self awareness that they can change their behavior.

If you can get your partner to start working on his issues that might be such a blessing that this Shocking advice from your friend turns out to be a very good thing - just as 51.2 suggests.

 

[Trojina]

Well the birth is 2 weeks away... I had my best friend visit me here in Spain and he's said some things about my partner that have really upset me. So I turned to the Yi.

He advised me to not get married because he thinks x has anger issues, is terrible with money and additionally will cheat on me eventually because he has a habit of telling white lies about things in general. (He witnessed him lying to his boss about something trivial)

Hmm and I cannot help but wonder why your friend chose this particular moment, 2 weeks from giving birth, to give you this message ? Couldn't he have given it sooner ? I would urge you to above all else not let this disturb you, and that is the central message of 51 ! The image says although the thunder claps are all about the sacred ladle is not dropped.

I feel his judgement is a bit harsh but now I can't sleep because I feel sick from being so upset. Maybe my friend is right and I'm in a mess. Or maybe he's being too judgemental.

Well I think your answer clearly shows the shock you feel at what your friend said and Yi is advising you please to take some distance from what he said. Don't let it disturb you so.

I asked the Yi "will x betray me in the future?"

I got 51.2 > 54

Maybe the shock is reflecting how I feel now? Line two pointing to a loss of some sort. 54 - im stuck in an incompatible relationship?

Yes I really do think the shock is what you now experience. The line from Hilary's translation in wikiwing is

Shock comes, danger.
A hundred thousand coins lost
Climb the ninth hill,
Don’t chase them.
On the seventh day, gain.’

Hmmm now some commentaries do say this can all be a bit of a fuss about nothing. I'm not so sure but I do think this line acknowledges you feel shock and seems to say you need to distance yourself from the cause of the shock (your friend) but not to try to solve or rectify or 'chase' any peace of mind you feel you have lost, that will all return of itself.

The main thing now is to be as calm and well as you can be. I just don't think this is the time to start worrying about your partner betraying you. As a direct answer to your question, well I don't think you are getting one but I do think you are being told to take some distance mentally from what your friend said. Also why would you trust your friend more than your partner ?

 

[equinox]

I agree with Trojina here, that 51.2 advises you "to take some distance mentally from what your friend said" and that it seems to be "a bit of a fuss about nothing." I-Ching says you shall keep calm, you will gain back everything you lost, I would also think it could be a metaphor standing for gaining back the lost trust.
54 suggests in my opinion that you started now to feel being in an inferior position, which is no wonder: You are in a very vulnerable situation and dependent on a partner you can rely on and now somebody is coming to tell you that your partner will probably not support you well. So I guess 54 reflects your inner conditions and not neccessarely the outer circumstances.
It's very insensitive from your friend to say this in such a situation. I don't want to talk badly about your friend, but if somebody is for sure not trustworthy as a support in this situation right now -- than this medal goes to your friend, because he/she is unsettling you in a most delicate moment. He/she could have at least waited telling you his subjective impression until you given birth.


Also rosadas advise is good: "Meanwhile it seems to me Shock - Marrying Maiden could be interpreted as some sort of shocking event that has you feeling powerless, but the line itself says whatever is lost is returned or replaced with something better. . Hmmm... maybe the I Ching is saying there's no guarantee your partner wont shock you now and then but you'll be able to deal with it.
Sound encouraging but personally if my best friend felt to warn me about anything I would give the warning careful consideration. But this wouldn't mean you have to break it off with the baby's father. You might use this as an opportunity to tell your prospective spouse that you will not marry him until the two of you have taken an anger management workshop together. "

 

[Thinkclear]

Well the birth is 2 weeks away... I had my best friend visit me here in Spain and he's said some things about my partner that have really upset me. So I turned to the Yi.

He advised me to not get married because he thinks x has anger issues, is terrible with money and additionally will cheat on me eventually because he has a habit of telling white lies about things in general. (He witnessed him lying to his boss about something trivial)

I feel his judgement is a bit harsh but now I can't sleep because I feel sick from being so upset. Maybe my friend is right and I'm in a mess. Or maybe he's being too judgemental.

Who needs enemies with such a friend
I agree with Trojina, take some distance from what your "friend" said. LiSe's translation of line 2 says

Do not fear loss, do not chase after things. You have what belongs to you, and if you lose it, it will return again. Fears are apt to chase things rather than to hold them. Stop searching down there for coins, look upwards to higher things and get the courage and perseverance to tackle them.

Instead of asking the Yi about your partner, you better can ask the Yi if this "friend" truly has your best interest or something like that.

 

[equinox]

Instead of asking the Yi about your partner, you better can ask the Yi if this "friend" truly has your best interest or something like that.

Maybe he/she wants her best, but sometimes people act very clumsy and contraproductive, when they intend to "help".

 

[Trojina]

Instead of asking the Yi about your partner, you better can ask the Yi if this "friend" truly has your best interest or something like that.

Or even better, so that the answer is clear to understand who it is for, my question in Moon's shoes would be "what is my best attitude towards this news from friend ?". If possible I'd advise asking from one's own standpoint then you will understand better than asking for a description of someone's behaviour.

The thing is the absolute priority now is you and safe arrival of the baby, all the other worries can wait, if they are real worries at all. I can see 51.2 as you taking yourself away from all this turmoil you have heard.

 

[rosada]

Mooncatcher hasn't said anything to suggest she doesn't trust her friend's motives in alerting her to her doubts so I think we have to assume Mooncatcher recognizes the friend may be telling her something important. However, just because the friend is sincere doesn't mean the friend is right. Hilary comments in WikiWing that hexagram 51.2 - chasing coins - can mean valuing something outside yourself. I can see that as a warning against valuing the friend's opinion over one's own. On the other hand, the question was "Will x betray me in the future?" and 51 is a wake-up call. So perhaps the I Ching is saying that while one should not trust a friend's advice over one's own instincts, still your own inner knowingness may be trying to alert you to something. If the friend's advice resonates with your own observations then it shouldn't be ignored.

Just realized I crossed posts with Trojina. I agree that if you are still troubled by all this a fresh better phrased question could help. Asking if there is going to be difficulty "...in the future?" can leave you open to upset for the next 50 years!!!!

 

[MoonCatcher]

Thank you guys for your time and help! I will read through everything again in a bit and write my thoughts on your answers xxx