54.2.3.6 twice - siblings and big shifts

[kestrelw1ngs]

Hello again,

I've cast two very similar readings this week.

The first question was a vague "help me understand what's going on with me"
54.1.2.6> 35

and the second was
"Yi please help me understand the relationship between myself and my younger siblings"
54.1.3.6> 50

I moved to a new state alone, once again in a dependent position but with a real friend who wants to help with getting back on my feet. The move here was horrible, stolen car, suitcase, crash... I am now in a significant amount of debt, technically homeless, no car although safe, warm, and in a new environment.
Have been mostly resting and letting all the pain "land" but soon need to find an income and make strides forward.

Tarot and horoscopes (which I wish not to depend so much on but for now are comforting) say I am on the verge of a huge internal shift but will have to sacrifice an entire way of thinking, being that is holding myself back, to look at big picture.

It seems like there is a chance to just let it all go and restart if I can find the courage ...

But guilt over leaving siblings all behind (eldest of large religious family, ran off to escape their controlling religious mental abuse) is hanging over my head. All are still "in" the religious paradigm. They want me to come back and I imagine their pain at my "loss" daily, or how I've failed them...it's all quite self indulgent.

The guilt holds me back from enjoying my life but the painful emotions of masking my true self for so long holds me back from willingness to be part of their lives and being forced back into "everything is okay" mode.

It's like being caught in opposing magnetic forces.

Yi gave me 55.2> 34 the other day...it seems to advise a big energetic push to break out of no good isolation...

Anyhow, the lines of this siblings reading:
Line 1:
A younger sister marrying as a second wife.
A cripple is able to walk.
Going brings good fortune.

Making the best of an inferior position. While there's a lot one cannot do, one still can do something, and that does go well.

Line 3:​

A younger sister marrying because she must.
Opposing a marriage to be a second wife.

Opposing being forced into an inferior position.

Line 6:​

The lady holds a basket without contents.
The gentleman stabs a sheep, but there is no blood.
This lacks a beneficial purpose.

Acting is just for appearances, and isn't genuine or sincere. It makes no sense to do this.


My interpretation of 54.6 is that pretending to be happy and being in their lives in a fake manner will do no good.

Is there more I'm missing in the lines?

54 also has come up for every housing situation I've been in that is dependent on someone else's good graces.

Thank you for any help in interpreting, and a blessed new year!

 

[rosada]

My take on it…
54.1
As the eldest you have been seen by your younger siblings as something of an authority figure, a second mother. Perhaps this wan’t a problem when you were little as I assume as a kid you would have been basically in harmony with your parents’ values.
54.3
But as you grew older you came to recognize that you didn’t share their beliefs but because you were dependent on them you suppressed yourself and went along to get along, a strategy that left you feeling less than honorable and eager to escape.
54.6
Now as adult you absolutely know that the religious rituals you were brought up with as a child are totally meaningless for you and indeed you feel hypocritical pretending any longer that they are not.

This leads us to 50. The Caldron which I see as a container that holds all essences - a sacred soup made up of all possibilities, all perspectives And in your case all your family and their ideas. Perhaps as the resulting hexagram it is emphasizing that you should be able to follow your own truth and they all should follow theirs, we’re all in the soup together - and it takes all kinds! Perhaps this gives you a hint as to how you should be around them - say that you have your own ideas but say it in a mild way and don’t make any effort to convert anyone. Absolutely refuse to engage in debate. Focus on the good. Perhaps even though you are not trying to convert them to your way of seeing, the very fact you can remain calm and confident may awaken them to seeing things differently after all.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

This leads us to 50. The Caldron which I see as a container that holds all essences - a sacred soup made up of all possibilities, all perspectives And in your case all your family and their ideas. Perhaps as the resulting hexagram it is emphasizing that you should be able to follow your own truth and they all should follow theirs, we’re all in the soup together - and it takes all kinds! Perhaps this gives you a hint as to how you should be around them - say that you have your own ideas but say it in a mild way and don’t make any effort to convert anyone. Absolutely refuse to engage in debate. Focus on the good. Perhaps even though you are not trying to convert them to your way of seeing, the very fact you can remain calm and confident may awaken them to seeing things differently after all.

I appreciate this perspective. I was a second mother in some ways. Not a good one.

Perhaps I should have mentioned the real anxiety is that my family does not respect my LGBTQ identity and hold a number of misinformed, racist, and otherwise bigoted beliefs based in fear. They were quite abusive growing up. While they have begun to respond to my concerns about how to treat the children, we have fought for years and I am tired of spending my life this way. I am also fighting the effects of being taught from a young age it is a sin to be who I am and to fear the outside world and people different than us.

My family isn't outright hateful, but they think no one ever has any right to be upset or criticize the family, church, country.

Being calm and confident around them is a front I have put on but it always slips.
They have been trying but we both have to suppress our deeply held beliefs to be around each other.

And it is not a takes all types thing. I respect they're religious, and actually wish deeply to connect to family history and culture, but their political beliefs are genuinely harmful, outdated and inexcusable.
I suppose I could say even I feel hatred for the structure of my family, the church, etc because i wish to be liberated from the pain of not being "allowed" to exist as a queer person in it.

I guess I have a significant amount more emotional work to do before the grace needed for a real relationship is possible....maybe that's the Cauldron.

My hope was that the Yi could give some guidance on how to live with these emotions although they're best taken to a counselor.

 

[my_key]

Hi kestrelw1ngs
What a brave thing to do and at the same time, I can only imagine how frightening: leaving one life behind and having to start again. I wish you well in your search for self.

The first question was a vague "help me understand what's going on with me"
54.1.2.6> 35

The things you can understand about what is going on is to realise that you are being bathed in the light of A Rising Sun (35). A time where things can flourish. Events will happen outside of your control and further Marrying the Maiden (56) is directing you towards a phase of completion and advocates that you embrace whatever comes while reflect deeply on the flaws that exist in yourself or others in order to promote a new harmony.

New positive changes are beginning to rumble from deep within (54.1) and it requires of you in your solitary world to promote internal fortitude (54.2) and to embrace harmoniously and live the the diversity of your situation. Remaining bound by your inner world will not be advantageous for you (54.6)

"Yi please help me understand the relationship between myself and my younger siblings"
54.1.3.6> 50

In the relationship with your younger siblings, you are bathed in a cloud of Transformation (50). You will have little influence in how the relationship plays out and here 54 again charts a path for you that will move you towards having unacknowledged needs met. Your inner rumblings are still at work (54.1) and are a work in progress. Here though at 54.3 there is a sense of inner rebalancing becoming available for you and a strong call for you to walk tall and walk your own path. Stay focused on accepting what is and what will be rather than what has been or engaging with any ideas of punishing others or imposing your will excessively. There is nothing you can do and no advantages in you dwelling in this relationship (54.6)

Tarot and horoscopes (which I wish not to depend so much on but for now are comforting) say I am on the verge of a huge internal shift but will have to sacrifice an entire way of thinking, being that is holding myself back, to look at big picture.

Seems to me Tarot, horoscope and I Ching align well.

Good Luck

 

[Hartloper]

Hi there, @kestrelw1ngs

It's very odd. I am in such a similar situation right now. A good friend just asked me to move to an island in the sun with him.

I know that Hex 54 feel in relation to my birth family very well. Not pretty.

Best of luck with being your true self and being loved for it!

The relating hexagrams seem very promising.

j.

 

[rosada]

Wow, cool story, Hartloper! Helps me imagine how the leap from 54.6 to 50 might manifest.

Now I’m seeing 54.1,3,6 as showing how the lifeless ritual these family reunions have become may be 50.Transformed by some sort of ritual that includes everyone. I think of the Christian ritual of ”taking communion” together and also how frequently the IC mentions blessing from eating together. I wonder if there is some sort of shared activity around food that could revitalize the original spark? I’m thinking the next time you have to sit at the same table with them - or even on your own when they gather in your mind! - drink a toast with absolute clear intention like a magic spell: “To Family!” Everyone is included even though they may not realize what they are agreeing to here but if you do this you may see a shift in the feelings like a tide flowing back in.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

thank you all, for the kind words too. these interpretations are so much more positive than my fears.

that is part of this huge shift - away from depression, pessimism, being mired in anger and hate and shame, displaying insecurity and self doubt to everyone around me or being controlling and driven entirely by anxiety.

Hi kestrelw1ngs
What a brave thing to do and at the same time, I can only imagine how frightening: leaving one life behind and having to start again. I wish you well in your search for self.

thank you my_key

realise that you are being bathed in the light of A Rising Sun (35). A time where things can flourish. Events will happen outside of your control and further Marrying the Maiden (56) is directing you towards a phase of completion and advocates that you embrace whatever comes while reflect deeply on the flaws that exist in yourself or others in order to promote a new harmony.

I do not feel like I've really been alive most of my life, able to claim life as "mine" without so much fear and shame. I have been "lost" a long time, fall into situations of people helping me but treating me poorly or expecting me to go along with their mistreatment of others, then claiming I took advantage of them or was useless to them, over and over.
Meanwhile I spend my energy worrying or controlling and blaming and isolate myself into a pit of Awful....

Lately it is so clear how this cycle of codependency, lack of belief in myself is the core of every problem, blocking my Self from coming out and staking ground. , but its not something you just get rid of, it takes SO MUCH WORK. GAH!

there is a woman who calls herself the "Crappy Childhood Fairy," and she posted this video about excuses we make towards healing, one of them is procrastinating our own healing because a larger system is unjust (family, church, capitalism) and we need it to change FIRST - instead of seeing ourselves as agents whose transformation ripples outwards to those systems.

bingo! this was where I've been stuck.

Yesterday and today my body is experiencing huge bursts of rage. People say not to be so hard on myself and to be kind but this anger feels productive, towards killing the "nice" and manipulative self that pities itself and is like a parasite on my soul.

I asked the Yi "what is going on? what's my next step out of being a "loser"?"

12.6> 45
The obstruction is being ended forcefully.

given the Yi has also given me 34 for a question about how to make better friendships, force is a key factor.
perhaps its time to pray daily for the fuerza, strength, to push upward and assert my right to belong, to try and try again despite failure! inner energy to let the ice thaw and all the 45 rivulets stream into a river with some force in its flow

New positive changes are beginning to rumble from deep within (54.1) and it requires of you in your solitary world to promote internal fortitude (54.2) and to embrace harmoniously and live the the diversity of your situation. Remaining bound by your inner world will not be advantageous for you (54.6)

yes!!! the inner fears, doubts etc are a mental prison. its time for a prison break and who cares who clutches their pearls about it.

I am looking into studying Tai Chi and beginning the process of a spiritual conversion that has been bubbling under the surface for a long while. it feels good.

this community never ceases to be refreshing. thank you for being generous with your spiritual wisdom.

speaks to the potency of Yi as a bucket into the Source. thank you all from my heart.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

Wow, cool story, Hartloper! Helps me imagine how the leap from 54.6 to 50 might manifest.

Now I’m seeing 54.1,3,6 as showing how the lifeless ritual these family reunions have become may be 50.Transformed by some sort of ritual that includes everyone. I think of the Christian ritual of ”taking communion” together and also how frequently the IC mentions blessing from eating together. I wonder if there is some sort of shared activity around food that could revitalize the original spark? I’m thinking the next time you have to sit at the same table with them - or even on your own when they gather in your mind! - drink a toast with absolute clear intention like a magic spell: “To Family!” Everyone is included even though they may not realize what they are agreeing to here but if you do this you may see a shift in the feelings like a tide flowing back in.

Rosada I feel so excited by this interpretation, despite the inner resistance -
cooking is the one way my family has been receptive to me most, bringing new flavors to bland but "safe" dinners...

I think there is more to this than meets the eye, practicing magic towards our transformation does not require them to agree. I can invite their spirits in to celebrate life with me. Maybe have a dinner and use my intuitive/energy work skills to reach a release.
Thank you!!