55 to 35 : About a man

[petal]

Hi everyone I hope you are all well.

I am due to meet up with a man who I used to go to school with about 12 years ago. He seems like a good person but I have been badly hurt in the past so I am very scared of getting involved. I consulted the IChing ahead of my date so I could prepare myself. These are the answers I received. If anyone has some thoughts about my interpretations I would be very grateful to hear your wisdom.

Thanks. And these were my questions to the Oracle:

55.1.3.5 > 35

What can I expect from X?

This seems positive I think. 55.1 - mentions that to proceed brings honor, 55.3 - inspiration? 55.5 - Recognition comes, bringing reward and praise. Also if this changes to 35 it sounds quite good too. Does this mean he is being drawn towards me?


49 unchanging

What sort of man is he?

This is a little more puzzling. What is the skinning about? Does it mean he is making big life changes or revolution which sounds a bit more sinister.


18.4.6 > 32

What are his intentions towards me?

This sounded darker especially 18.4 which refers to the father. He told me his dad died when he was a teenager. Although I'm not sure how this relates to me. Maybe in the behaviour patterns he has acquired? And 32 'Steady the helm of the heart.' This sounds quite nice.

Respectfully

Petal

 

[willowfox]

55.1.3.5 > 35 What can I expect from X?

Line 55.1 suggests straight away that there will be a bond between you,, something good, perhaps a little overwhelming at first but it seems that he will take a great interest in you.

49 unchanging What sort of man is he?

Someone quite honourable, believable and very determined.


18.4.6 > 32 What are his intentions towards me?

It would seem that he feels that he missed an opportunity to date you years ago so has come back to finish the quest.

 

[mazaru]

55.1.3.5 > 35 What can I expect from X?

Line 55.1 suggests straight away that there will be a bond between you,, something good, perhaps a little overwhelming at first but it seems that he will take a great interest in you.

I was wondering about this line. Why does it say 10 days?
It sounds so little, just a week and a half.
Or could it also mean that it will be a lasting relationship of years?
And if so, why doesn't the line talk about being together for ten years?

 

[petal]

Goodness! What a smashing reading Willowfox! He sounds like Sir Galahad coming back to finish the quest! How romantic it all sounds! *fans blushing cheeks*

As for the 10 ten days Mazaru, that is an interesting point. Perhaps it could refer to the immediate situation at hand, as when I arranged to meet him it was the middle of last week and we are aiming to get together around next Friday. So that would be about 10 days so I guess we are sort of holding together until we can actually get together?!

Thank you both for taking the time to offer your precious thoughts. I shall wait and see how things progress with an open heart.

Much love Petal
x

 

[ginnie]

I was wondering about this line. Why does it say 10 days?
It sounds so little, just a week and a half.

In oldest times in China, the week was a ten-day week, so "10 days" means a complete cycle of time, not exactly 10 days or 10 years. It could be any length of time.

55 changes to 45, gathering and assembling of a group, not to 35, progress. To receive hex 55 means abundance and success, generally speaking.

In 55.1, both people are equal in strength. They are both yang and strong. Why should one follow the other then? Because they both have something important to give to each other. After a time, and that may be 10 minutes, 10 days, or 10 years, the time will inevitably come when the mutual giving, this complementarity, comes to its natural end. Whether or not the relationship at some future date renews itself and starts over again is not stated here.

In 55.3, one finds oneself with no partner, no helper, and therefore unable to act. Not having a partner entails no blame to anyone. It's not anybody's fault.

In 55.5, the king surrounds himself with wise counselors and therefore abundance can finally be brought forth.

It would seem that X has plans to start some kind of group.

The sort of man he is: He's conflicted. He's changing.

His intentions towards you: His intention is that the two of you share a long-term relationship, 32.

Something has to be fixed first: 18.4 means he is currently indecisive, due to some problems originally connected either to his father or some authority figure(s). I think this line means he's having trouble getting started with some of his plans. #18.6 means that his true work in life is spiritual or cultural.

If you know this man, you probably know about his character being spiritual (or cultural) and may also have heard about his plans regarding some sort of grouping or organization. The auspice for his group is good, provided he attracts the right people, and maybe you are one of those people . . .

This seems to a reading not so much for a romance as for a major life project the two of you may successfully undertake together . . . And of course that does not exclude romance but rather takes it to a higher level.

 

[petal]

Thank you for contributing Ginnie. I am still musing over the "10 days" and the complete cycle of time that it represents. I feel like the door has closed on an old painful cycle and that I am making steps to move forward so this is very significant in terms of describing my present situation.

Also I have a real life update!

I went on the date with this guy and we got on very well. As Willowfox predicted there was an easy bond and we talked for hours. He is a very kind and attentive man, and the point Ginnie made about the grouping or organization could relate to the various practices he manages. He also had a business proposition for me to produce websites for some of them! Uncanny!

However, I'm not sure how I feel about the chemistry between us as I am very nervous about that kind of intimacy. He is keen to get closer and has invited me to a gathering at his home tomorrow which I am going to attend but I feel very conflicted. So I asked the oracle -

What is my problem? -
40:2,3,5 > 31

I was wondering if this refers to delivering myself from another influence/attraction? Does this mean that my feelings are conflicted because I still need to unburden myself of a past relationship? I pondered this and that led me to ask the IChing a second question -

What do I need to resolve before I can embrace this new relationship?
34:1,2,3 > 16

I looked at Lise's website for some advice on this one as the multiple lines were quite hard to understand. The overall impression seems that this hex represents a situation where one makes oneself invulnerable by becoming 'a man of stone' and yet it speaks of power. Does this mean that the power is too controlled and needs to become more relaxed for things to flow? Does the power represent emotions? If so, it describes me rather well at the moment as I do feel like I have a lot of mental barriers up! But what to do? Hexagram 16 is odd. It mentions an elephant? What?! Maybe my barriers are so high that an elephant is needed to bring them down. Where is Dumbo when you need him huh?!

If anyone has any thoughts as always I would be glad to hear them! Thank you!

Respectfully

Petal

 

[ginnie]

the various practices he manages. He also had a business proposition for me to produce websites for some of them!

However, I'm not sure how I feel about the chemistry between us as I am very nervous about that kind of intimacy. He is keen to get closer and has invited me to a gathering at his home tomorrow which I am going to attend but I feel very conflicted. So I asked the oracle -

What is my problem? -
40:2,3,5 > 31

What do I need to resolve before I can embrace this new relationship?
34:1,2,3 > 16

Petal

Petal,

Maybe you are thinking, "Maybe I'll flirt with him a little bit, and then I'll work with him a little bit. I'll make it work somehow." No. Bad idea. Your problem is, of course, that you are still attracted to him.

I believe that Yi is saying, in giving you hexagram 40, that it would really be best if you released him completely: Let him go. Only the superior man is capable of acting this way.

Don't try to be both his web designer and his "wife." You cannot do both without getting yourself into a lot of trouble. The conflict would drag you down. He doesn't seem to be aware that this conflict presents a problem in a business relationship. It would be more of a problem for you, and in such a case you are advised to act as your own best friend. Why even start, since you are aware of this conflict before you even begin?

Hexagram 34 means you have so many strengths but must be careful not to force matters, skip steps, and otherwise barge forward enthusiastically. Since you are conflicted right now, conditions are not favorable for pushing ahead.

If he really needs some websites designed, for example, he might ask you to get started right away. Do not say "yes" to that!

At some point there might be a little good fortune from your using your business-related skills to help him, but the Yi says this would lead to you either getting entangled in such a way that you couldn't get out of the mess, or you might actually be tricked in some way. Line 40.3 indicates something similar, referring even to something perhaps "shameful." Either way, not such a good outcome.

Since you have been made aware of all this before you've even begun, the Yi has just saved you a lot of trouble. Believe it, because it's really true!

 

[willowfox]

What is my problem? - 40:2,3,5 > 31

Your problem seems to be one of luck, suddenly everything falls at your feet, you get lucky but now you choose to hesitate, no need. Just act cautiously, like in any new situation, but not retreat into your shell, open up a little here as he isn't a demon.

What do I need to resolve before I can embrace this new relationship? 34:1,2,3 > 16

You want this but you are hesitant, you have to proceed with caution as always but sometimes you have to just let go and enjoy the moment.

 

[ginnie]

As anyone can see from reading the posts at this website, diviners can differ in interpreting the I Ching.

It could be that we're all wrong, because we are not you and we cannot know everything about the best solution for you. I can only say to you that H40 means taking action in the face of danger: getting out of danger.

I'm going to go back a bit, to when you asked: "What are his intentions toward me?" The Yi responded: "18.4.6 > 32." If I could put this into one sentence it would be that he's sort of sitting on a fence with regard to you. He will not really be interested in fixing or adjusting his relationship to you personally, because he is more interested in projects of his own.

The meaning of line 18.6 is that the person is up in some sort of tower. If this is true, then you will be able to sense this about him.

He is into his own thing, whatever that is. It often means that the person has set lofty goals for himself of a spiritual or wide-ranging cultural kind. It can also mean that the person needs to take care of himself, attend to what matters most to himself. This does not bode so well for a romantic relationship, Petal, because he has already committed himself to other goals.

Getting back to your hex 40:

40.2 means, in my opinion, to steer a balanced, middle course without going to any extremes in your search for a solution.

The author Wu Wei's take on 40.3 is that you not mention or display your skills and assets. If you let them be seen, "the danger will increase instead of abate."

Sarah Dening on line 40.3: "Be aware of your limitations. If you persist in doing something for which you are not really suited, or which is beyond your current capabilities, you risk being humiliated."

From my own experience, there is a subjective feeling of being uncomfortable in one's own skin connected with line 40.3. We know we're doing something questionable, even if it's not wrong, strictly speaking.

Thomas McCleary on 40.3: Even if what one does is correct, "it is still embarrassing." Some interpreters take the position here that what you are trying to do is something you are not suited for, but, aside from that, doing this inevitably brings about shame and even draws the wrong kind of people.

Moving right along to 40.5, here is Sarah Dening: "To make the most of life, you must be determined to free yourself from involvement with whoever or whatever drags you down. Develop a positive attitude to yourself. Be committed to your own well-being. Become your own best friend. Then you will no longer attract harmful people or circumstances."

Wu Wei on 40.5: "You are associated with inferior people who do not support you or your views. By relying on your own judgment and taking the necessary action, you will succeed in abating the danger, and your friends and associates either will be won over or will withdraw. In either case, good fortune ensues."

As Sam Reifler points out on 40.5: "Your release is not at all assured and you yourself are the only means of your own release. If you can save yourself, the sincerity and presence of mind that was required on your part will be appreciated and honored by others. If it comes, release will bring you good fortune beyond just your escape from danger."

In order to find the solution to this problem, Petal, please go within yourself to find the answer.

Line 5 moving in H40 refers to what enlightened people would do. It does not refer to what an ordinary person would do.

All best wishes, Petal.

 

[willowfox]

What is the value of quoting four 2nd rate interpreters of the I Ching? If you have a point to make say it, as quoting line after line to make your point is a waste of time. Say what you think not what others think the line may mean. You fit the interpretation to the question and not the question to the interpretation. If you want to make a point, make it clear and concise, and leave out the waffle.

She is asking what her problem is, what is holding her back from being more open with her new friend.

Line 40.3 says that she is indeed carrying a burden, it advices her to learn to be truthful and honest with herself, then she may indeed see the problem that is holding her back from a friendship.

Line 40.5 Advices her to get rid of the very things that are hindering her progress, and remember she is not actually in a relationship with this man. This line says that she need to be positive, to believe in herself and abilities.

 

[willowfox]

Line 5 moving in H40 refers to what enlightened people would do. It does not refer to what an ordinary person would do.

And where does it say this line is only for "enlightened people" not mere mortals such as petal and I? This line is for is petal, an ordinary person just like you and I.

She has concerns, nothing really concrete and this line is saying that she can indeed overcome those negative thoughts through the power of her own mind.

 

[willowfox]

I'm going to go back a bit, to when you asked: "What are his intentions toward me?" The Yi responded: "18.4.6 > 32." If I could put this into one sentence it would be that he's sort of sitting on a fence with regard to you. He will not really be interested in fixing or adjusting his relationship to you personally, because he is more interested in projects of his own.

The meaning of line 18.6 is that the person is up in some sort of tower. If this is true, then you will be able to sense this about him.

He is into his own thing, whatever that is. It often means that the person has set lofty goals for himself of a spiritual or wide-ranging cultural kind. It can also mean that the person needs to take care of himself, attend to what matters most to himself. This does not bode so well for a romantic relationship, Petal, because he has already committed himself to other goals.

Petal actually said that they got on well together, so well in fact that he wants her to go around to a gathering at his house. He obviously likes petal, so why do you say otherwise?

 

[ginnie]

Petal actually said that they got on well together, so well in fact that he wants her to go around to a gathering at his house. He obviously likes petal, so why do you say otherwise?

The only real question is whether or not joining his new group would be a good thing for Petal to do -- from her own point of view, not from his point of view.

The hexagrams say to me that at this time the man is trying to start up an organization or a group, Willowfox, and Petal can expect to find him to be busy with his own plans.

Petal and the man knew each other previously very well, but that personal relationship ended. So it is really a question of whether or not it would be good for Petal to join the new group, because as friends they are not starting from scratch.

A so-called "enlightened person" is just a person like you or me who can meditate upon her own difficulties and go within to solve life's problems. Often the answers are lying just underneath the surface of external circumstances and events. We don't just cast our hexagrams and then stop there. We need to spend some time with what we were given. That's part of the process, too, as well as consulting other translations of the I Ching, because there are many that can be very helpful. The I Ching was first written down in ancient, agricultural China, you know, and many scholars have worked on it since that time. Having said that, I'll leave this thread now. Best of luck to you, Petal.

 

[willowfox]

The only real question is whether or not joining his new group would be a good thing for Petal to do -- from her own point of view, not from his point of view.

No. The real question is about petal's anxieties about becoming emotionally involved with the man, whether to let lose or back off. She asked about herself. I think that she would like to have a nice relationship but has an innate fear of being used.

Perhaps petal has a real reason for her anxiety, stemming from the past. I have been wondering if petal had a not so nice relationship with someone a few years ago where she got hurt, and left at the altar, so to speak.

 

[willowfox]

A so-called "enlightened person" is just a person like you or me who can meditate upon her own difficulties and go within to solve life's problems.

What is an "enlightened person". A person who knows the answers.

 

[bamboo]

FWIW, as per her own words, I don think Petal feels any chemistry for this man, and it seems like her gut is telling her to get free of him. the yi seems to say the same thing.
Trust your gut, Petal. YOu dont need to analyze all the reasons you "put up defenses"..when it is right, you will know that and you will have the courage to move forward.