58.1 cutting ties / respect

[kestrelw1ngs]

Greetings to the community.

I have been eaten up with dread and depression about this. My family growing up was everything to me. Yet I have never done well by them or vice versa. Much harm done.
However it is not personal harm that prompts this question, but their increasingly vile & ignorant political stances. I lost respect for them long ago and am losing it for myself. Around me I watch others cut off colleagues friends and family over siding with the genocidal state of Israel. Journalists being arrested and censorship in the news.

I am already missing my nephews lives and family gatherings. I hardly belong any longer and they feel deeply uncomfortable around me. I tried to bring up the hypocrisy on this issue, and was silenced. We exchanged angry words.

I asked Yi

"What if I do it finally - cut ties with my family?"

58.1> 47

As usual I can see both possibilities - "no need to cut them off, have harmonious exchanges," and "this is a good idea that will free you from 47, depression"

This matters almost life and death to me. Thank you for any assistance interpretating

 

[Liselle]

Hilary says things in WikiWing like, "...focussing on messages and meetings inside and taking energy/attention away from messages outside. 58 with 47: start communicating that inner life..."

- which in this case makes me think of things like talk about harmonious things, family things, and try to avoid contentious outside issues.

It upsets me when I hear about families torn apart by things that have nothing to do with the family (unless somehow this war does, in which case please ignore me). There are a lot of avenues for expressing political views, I wonder if the dinner table absolutely has to be one of them?

Then again you had a lot of family problems before the war even started.

Not from the reading, but would you literally have to say you're cutting ties and will never speak to them again or whatnot? Could you just sort of keep your distance for a while but preserve an opening? (I said "opening," and 58 is "Opening," but I don't know if the two are connected. This is just me talking.)

 

[Liselle]

On second thought, I wonder if I mangled what Hilary meant. Oh dear.

But anyway, there's communication in the foreground as your direct answer, and oppression and confinement in the background, probably more subjective (in this answer, anyway - I know there are problems with your family), and the combination of those is "Harmonious opening, good fortune."

Maybe something like if you can keep the interaction harmonious (and don't dig too deep, as 47 wants to do), then there can be harmony.

58 is light, 47 is quite heavy. Yi put the light one in front...

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

Thank you Liselle.
It matters as in I have cousins who are Christian Zionists who trained in Israel, and open white supremacist/Nazis, and my family is the kind to eternally smooth over troubling facts and avoid complicity.
I was in a bad headspace and did end up talking lightly with some friends, a few non political things texted with my family. Helped but doesn't give an answer.

I love them deeply and miss them but hate all that they stand for. Were a civil war to break out here again, we would be standing on opposite sides. I do not disillusion myself that they would turn me in or even kill me if they believed it was just, or if not me, my friends and comrades. They support legislation and candidates already that does such harm. Every Black or Indigenous movement to them is "terrorists," they are comfortable in their security.
It tears me apart but I have known this for years. It is hard to forgive their level of ignorance and cowardice and miseducation of my little siblings.

I was trying to be less angry and widen my heart to include them again but now, in these images of bloodied children I see my own little siblings. And they dismiss these war crimes - "terrorists" who "bring it up on themselves."

The bombs dropped on Palestinian hospitals and apartments are manufactured in Colorado. Are not both my family and I as US tax paying citizens not complicit?

Yes it is a deep shame that war tears families apart. But at least we aren't digging our surviving ones out of rubble, writing children's names on their arms in case they are hit by shrapnel.

I want to run to and embrace my own siblings and love them wholeheartedly but to ignore where the adults stand, would now feel like a betrayal of international community, of friends, of my own humanity.
These times hurt.....

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

In this message from Yi though, you mention attention towards inner life...perhaps there is nothing to be done but meditate, make art, come to a resolution within myself on this.

 

[Trojina]

I asked Yi

"What if I do it finally - cut ties with my family?"

58.1> 47

I don't think from this answer that is what you are going to do.

What impact does your family have on the Israel/Palestine conflict ? Does anything they do or say have any consequence whatsoever outside their own dinner table ?

I want to run to and embrace my own siblings and love them wholeheartedly but to ignore where the adults stand, would now feel like a betrayal of international community, of friends, of my own humanity.

Hmm not really, I mean is staying in touch with your family really a betrayal of international community, in fact what is international community? There isn't one international community. It's a complex situation that has been going on for thousands of years, well I'm sure you know more about it than I do, but what difference does it make to them whether you cut ties with your family at this point in time?

Moreover at least in the UK things get very muddled where people protesting in favour of Palestine many just believing they are on the side of, well freedom etc etc when homosexuality is illegal there. So allegedly in a UK protest the gay pride flag was torn down, for some reason the lgtbq contingent (at least the less thoughtful ones) thought 'we are all one' and 'we all oppressed' and made their presence known which upset other pro Palestinians given well they don't subscribe to that in Palestine. Incredibly, trying to research it I see a photo of some people protesting with a flag saying "Queers for Palestine" and so I wonder if they know anything at all about what might happen to queers in Palestine! They can go to prison. So why are these people parading the streets with their pride banners as if it had anything to do with their agenda at all.

Palestine | Human Dignity Trust

Palestine criminalises same-sex sexual activity between men. Sentences include a maximum penalty of ten years’ imprisonment.

www.humandignitytrust.org

So to get back to Yi 58.1 says

'Harmonious opening, good fortune.'

It doesn't look much like disowning your family to me. As Liselle said it needn't be that dramatic you can withdraw for a spell or show your disapproval other ways but cutting them off will not make any difference to the war.

So it's not so much about their views on Palestine in the end but your feelings about your family and their radically different views to yours. I can't see that continuing to talk to them is a betrayal of Palestine, it's not like Palestine =all things good and liberal and humanitarian while Israel = all things the opposite to that.

'Harmonious opening' though? Is Yi taking the piss? Well it's shaking up up that kind of Eeyore vision of 'there is nothing I can do and nothing I can say that will make any difference' of 47 by actually opening it up and sharing.

And bear in mind in years to come while the war may have moved on somewhere else altogether you'd still be dealing with the consequences of cutting off from your family for the sake of Palestine.

I mean if you want to cut off from them anyway that's another thing altogether, you'd be cutting off for your sake but cutting off for the sake of Palestine through identifying with them seems less of a clear goal really.

If you want to leave make it about you not about Palestine.

 

[my_key]

I asked Yi

"What if I do it finally - cut ties with my family?"

58.1> 47

The growing sense of not belonging that you are experiencing along with the repulsion you feel towards the extreme views your family holds have brought you to a critical point in your life. Your own health and wellbeing is suffering too and it sounds like you have reached an important crossroads in the horrendous time that you are experiencing now.

58 <> 47
'Open Expression' through Confining Oppression'

The context of 47 says it all - oppressed, exhausted, worn down, cut off, trapped - and yet deep within this hexagram, and within you, lies, in wait, a moment of truth. A moment which when recognised will provide you with inspiration and offer a way out beyond your current confinement.

58 works in subtle ways to provide an opportunity for exciting and stimulating self expression. You will. though. have to stand tall and strong and make an offering for these opportunities of become manifest. Yi advocates that making friends, perhaps with the people you see as enemies, or perhaps newly acquired friends, and speaking with them honestly and openly will ease you into a new sense of relationship that will bring you more joy.

In 58.1 Huang associates Confucius saying 'The superior person is in harmony with people, but does not go along with them in evil deeds'. Thus pointing to an inner harmony and truth that is achievable even when surrounded by war and battle zones. This harmony needs to be based in a growing awareness of the reality of things going on in and around you and not knee-jerk reaction.

Deep within 58 is the power coming from 37 Household, where a return home after injury is indicated in the hexagram sequence. Perhaps you need to be sure of where you see home as being, to help you at this time. Call upon the deep qualities of this hexagram, where the truth in your words and the consistency of you deeds need to be coordinated for you to navigate you way through this precarious decision making process to find that place of happy stability and order that you seek.

...or there may be other interpretations that speak louder to you.

Good Luck.

 

[Hans_K]

Hi Kestrelw1ings,

"What if I do it finally - cut ties with my family?"

Your question is What if.... and the answer as I see it is "it's not the right time yet".
Trigram Lake turns into Water by the moving line at the 1st position.
Lake out of balance can give the feeling of being oppressed by others/a situation, being limited by the influence of others/a situation.
The yang line in the first position wants to bring out or execute its ideas and plans when it is not yet time to do so.
Water recommends facing the uncertainties in this situation and not choosing a direction at this time but waiting for the right moment, letting the situation determine, as it were, when the right time to take action is.
The text of the first line says:

Harmonious joy. Good fortune.

This shows that joy comes from within.

In a lake, the water stands still, it does not flow, when the bottom line moves, as it were, the boundaries of the lake are removed and the water can flow again.
In H58, there is joyful communication between people. In H47, one is thrown back on oneself. The water ran out of the lake. You could see this as that all the emotional investments (Water) in the group/family (upper trigram) have been withdrawn.

Although the name of H47 suggests otherwise, the text of Judgement and Image are encouraging.

H47 Judgement
Oppression.
Success.
With perseverance,
The great person brings about good fortune.
No blame.
What one says is not believed.

H47 Image
...
Thus the superior person
Realizes his destiny by following his will.

What is also interesting in this case is that both H58 and H47 have the same nuclear hexagram, namely H37.
This is about (finding) your place in a group of people, that what your contribution is in a group and the communication between the different members of that group.

As I see it, this is not yet the time to cut ties, perhaps another group should be found first. The text of the Image of H58 talks about joining with friends to practice and discuss. So bide your time and find your new "family" in the meantime.

This would be my interpretation. As always, take what resonates and leave the rest

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

Thank you all for your perspectives. Trojina, I would like to come back to your comment on the Queers for Palestine with some additional perspective.

However all this is good food for thought. Hans_K, thank you for pointing out the double 37 nuclear hexagram - I am currently at a starting over point in life, much more stable than I have been, but in a new place and not as of yet connected to many people here.
In behavioral health, when working with clients to end harmful coping mechanisms, we had a manta - replace, don't take. That is, make sure the individual has an alternative way to relieve stress and gain support before focusing on eliminating the harmful habit from their life.

Or maybe, build a found family before cutting ties with your first one.
Without a family of some kind, life is too unbearable.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

I feel much gratitude for being here on Online Clarity at least - not quite a family but a community of various eclectic & very caring humans to return to, or come in times of trouble, guided and sometimes confused by a wise Oracle ...

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

Also when I cast for "what is essential for me to know right now about *waves arms* all this" received
52.6 > 15


Yeah it's time to reintroduce meditation to the mental goblins...

 

[Liselle]

A smilie I've never seen used before!

 

[Hans_K]

Also when I cast for "what is essential for me to know right now about *waves arms* all this" received
52.6 > 15


Yeah it's time to reintroduce meditation to the mental goblins...

Or you express your authentic self (H15) in the world by letting go of all masks in contact with the outside world (Mountain collapses to Earth)

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

Moreover at least in the UK things get very muddled where people protesting in favour of Palestine many just believing they are on the side of, well freedom etc etc when homosexuality is illegal there. So allegedly in a UK protest the gay pride flag was torn down, for some reason the lgtbq contingent (at least the less thoughtful ones) thought 'we are all one' and 'we all oppressed' and made their presence known which upset other pro Palestinians given well they don't subscribe to that in Palestine. Incredibly, trying to research it I see a photo of some people protesting with a flag saying "Queers for Palestine" and so I wonder if they know anything at all about what might happen to queers in Palestine! They can go to prison. So why are these people parading the streets with their pride banners as if it had anything to do with their agenda at all.

I came back to respond to this sentiment. this video by a queer Palestinian can say all that needs to be said say more than I can stumble through.

This image is from a project called Queering the Map. Where people are encouraged to upload anonymous messages in their city, confessional style. The messages left in Gaza during this bombardment rend the heart.

Queer Gazans deserve to live and love same as anyone.

I hope with these two sources you can see. The hurtfulness of this thought pattern. Many LGBTQ people here would give our lives to fighting even for those with biases and prejudices. We can prioritize that the right to exist without being bombed into pieces, the loss of entire family lines, the right not to endure Holocaust and phosphorus bombing, comes before a Pride Parade. Humanity is humanity and this is a tactic used by Israeli propaganda called "pink washing." To divide the international protest communities.

A further source of understanding for me has come from a movie called Pride, about a Gay and Lesbian coalition supporting homophobic Welsh miners. It is a beautiful if difficult movie you can watch here.
Our struggles are connected.

And further sitting with this reading from Yi I do see that the cutting off of family, or friends is not a liberating action but an unfortunate side effect of doing what needs done and becoming who I am.
It rends my heart but there are people out there who share these values and if I can let go of all the grief and misery and look around with clear eyes maybe we will find each other.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

A smilie I've never seen used before!

it's a newer one, and a favorite for showing a more ineffable emotion... Like 🫥🫣

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

from the Instagram of an Israeli whistleblower, Yeah it, who was asked to share this from an anonymous queer Palestinian.

I hope any who encounter this thread can leave with a deeper perspective.