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60 turning into 61...What do I have to do ??? Help!

plume

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I met a guy while travelling, we spent only two days together but we really connected and gave each other email adresses and phone number to meet after coming back to our respectives countries (in Europe), I sent him 3 mails in something like a month (knowing that he couldn't really answer but anyway, silly me !) after the 3rd mail he wrote me back in a "polite" and nice way but not as warm as I was expecting and not talking about seeing each other but only asking what I was doing, where I was and if I was planning another trip (as we both travel a lot) and telling me that he was going to work abroad (still in Europe but not passing through France).I guess this way he was preparing myself not to see him again, even though I sent an email telling him about my plans and proposing him to see each other sometime in my trip...it's been a month and I get no answer to that mail and no more news...what I don't understand is that he was the one who insisted for us to meet again and thought we have had a really encounter...
So I asked the I Ching if I should write him a mail to clarify the situation and asking him for an explanation...the thing is at the same time I feel really bad as doing that it must appears pushy and I already feel hurted with him not answering me and me have been so enthousiastic...
The I Ching gave me 60 changing to 61...which in accordance of what I've read is clearly a "no" answer...but at the same time it's talking about a chance you don't have to loose...
So what does it really means ?
What should I do ???
Thanks for your help.

English is not my mother tongue so sorry in advance for the mistakes...;)
 

frank

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Hi Plume,

Happens to me a lot... People so enthousiastic, 'yes, please let's stay in touch, call me, write, whatever", and then that same person who took the initiative is also the one who breaks his or her word by not responding. So, I do feel sympathy with you, for what it's worth.

Hexagram 60 is about limitations.In one way you should not limid yourself by letting you hurt like this and take the right for an explanation, but also on the other hand you need to limit yourself by not doing that in an agressive, matter, as you should not 'low' yourself. By changing into 61, the lines 5 & 6 are the changing lines. Line 5 sais "Sweet regulations. Good Fortune. Go forward, there will be praise", which to me is an answer of the I Ching that you may contact him for an explanation. Do not "limit" yourself in that. Another translation for "Jie", the chinese word translated here as limitation can also mean 'regulation'. Probably the I Ching is telling you that there are ways of behaving oneself. By saying things like' let's stay in touch', and by no means do any work for it yourself it could ofcourse hurt someone when there is no honesty. It's a 'regulation', a rule that you have the right for an explanation. It's also a rule not to ask that in an agressive, frustrated manner... Line 6 is about "Bitter regulations. Try out: Misfortune. Regrets vanish". Here the Yi (I Ching) is telling you not to feel to bitter about the whole thing, and to stay in that mood... By asking for an explanation contact could be renewed already, although my experience is that 'holiday contacts' does not last to long... But there are always exceptions, as in a month from now I'm going to meet people I met on a holiday in Egypt and the 8 of us see each other every half year....

Hexagram 61 could tell you then actually that you probably already are aware what to do (listen to the inner truth inside yourself...).

I hope this is making some sense...

Hug,
Frank
 

byzantine

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Dear Plume,

Can't help answering n giving my 2 cents. But your situation reminds me of e movie Before Sunrise n Before Sunset, with regards to the meeting and the hitting it off.

As for your reading, the answer in my opinion, seems to be a no i'm afraid.

It's true that the 2 of you may have really connected during the 2 days spent together. However i feel that it was under special circumstances and once those circumstances are gone, meaning you are no longer travelling together in another place and life returns to routine, the magic goes out as well.

In another words, according to Wilhelm for 61, where the community of interest ceases, the holding together ceases as well.

As for 60,6 i would take it to mean that the more you write to him asking him to clarify things and meet up, the more limitations you place on him and the more he'll pull away. As a guy were i in his shoes and interested in you, i would already have shown interest and written to you long ago, no matter how busy my schedule.

Of course i may be wrong and things may turn out differently from what i have suggested.
happy.gif


With warm regards,
Irving
 

plume

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Thanks a lot for answering me so fast.
Both interpretations make sense even if they're opposite in a way...that's also the way I interpreted the hexagrams :
- Write him as you deserve an explanation, but don't be too aggressive in the way you ask for it and be aware about the situation (you won't change it!)...
-Don't write as you already know how it gonna ends up (as you know that for him it already ended up).
Thank you really a lot Frank and Irving for your help...
I see hex.61 as a glimpse, the Yi King has a really sense of humor sometimes...it's telling me that actually I didn't really need to ask as the answer was already clear for me.
Sometimes we just need to be conforted in what we already know but don't want to "see".
Thanks again
happy.gif
 

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