63.3.5 to 24 - accepting a friendship back.

[watergoddess1]

A good friend who behaved inappropriately towards me a year ago, has popped out of the woodworks.

He was going through an extremely tough time and begged me to sleep with him (through a series of text messages) - so I cut him off for a while - telling him that we'll speak when he's in a more balanced state of mind.

He called me yesterday. I feel torn about whether I should allow this person back into my life. Part of me knows he's a good hearted individual and I should give him another chance - the other feels a sense of wariness towards his mental instability. Plus, he hasn't even really apologised.

Furthermore - he's added me on Facebook. I don't wish to be rude to him, but I was worried that he may be a bit too batty - and I don't want crazy people having access to my friends.

So I asked the Yi: "Should I accept Mat's friend request on Facebook ?" But I guess I'm worried about letting him back in my life generally.

Answer: 63.3.5 to 24.

Does this mean I should not return to something that has already been completed?? Or am I being too paranoid?

 

[Tohpol]

The following is given without obviously knowing all the nuances in this situation However...Someone who begs a friend to sleep with them and then doesn't apologise....No wonder you're wary. it suggests he hasn't really grasped what he did was inappropriate.

One way of reading H.63 would be that things are OK as they are but there's room for careful handling of the situation. In other words, keeping your integrity, with no grand gestures on your part as things could go pear-shaped again.

Line 3 is the demon country which suggests a lot of hard work to keep negative influences at bay. This may refer to your friend and his "issues" or perhaps to a lesson to be learned in how you deal with people and which could re-occur if you don't stand firm. Have such things occurred before with your friend or in your life? Alternatively, if you think giving energy to this man with deference to friendship is worthwhile and without compromising your principles, then go for it. Yet, you know well that it is up to him to meet you halfway. Accepting a facebook contact is quite far from actually meeting of course.

Line 5: Indicates a modest display of power or a sincere offering that is simple and without drama. This may be the bridge you can offer him. And similarly, I'd say that's the apology that could be required from your friend to show sincerity and move your friendship forward. That is, if you are prepared to make the effort.

Either way, 24 as the background Hexagram suggests renewal and rebirth either for you away from him, or where it includes you both and moving away from the past.

So, no, I don't think you are paranoid I think you are being objective about it. It may be that he is dependent on others' psychic resources in a way that is unhealthy and as a habitual part of his nature. Or it could be that he genuinely sees the error of his ways and values your friendship and thus is willing to work on himself from this perspective.

You could ask a follow up question: What is the nature of X's desire to re-instate contact?

 

[watergoddess1]

Topal - thanks for your detailed and thoughtful answer. Line three was difficult for me to understand - but what you said regarding a lesson to be learned in my dealings with people, is very spot on! Cheers.

Also your summary regarding 63 in relation to my situation I feel works well.

The follow up question is a great suggestion! I shall ask that!!