a burning question 19.3,4?

[dragona]

:bows: Me again, this time with a really burning question about the situation with my mother, who is sick and not very rational. Needless to say, I became the prisoner of this situation. I am taking care of her by myself, not doing a splendid job after over one year, because it has taken over my life, monothony of it has made me feel hopeless and I am financialy dependent of her.
Nursing home is a long wait, and if lucky enough in getting a job, not sure if I could keep it well, becuse she is not up to be alone, has irrational fears I feel that too many things need to happen just in time for me to get my life back in some kind of track, and I know it never happens like that, not to me.

How will the situaton with me and my mother resolve? 19.3,4 into 34
This looks unreasonable optimistic to me. My nerves are gone, perhaps I cant see straight. Maybe someone have a greater understanding of this lines then me.
In any case, thanks a lot. :bows:

 

[pocossin]

How will the situation with me and my mother resolve?
19.3.4 > 34

▄▄  ▄▄
▄▄  ▄▄  Mother
▄▄  ▄▄
▄▄  ▄▄
▄▄▄▄▄▄  Daughter
▄▄▄▄▄▄

Hexagram 34 is the hexagram of struggle. Eventually the care of your mother will become too difficult for you to do alone. That said, there may be things you can do for your mother's wellbeing. Possibly, her mental problems are caused by medication. High blood pressure medication can change an otherwise mentally healthy person into a vegetable. Check the side effects of the medications your mother is taking. If one of them is 'confusion' that medication may be the cause. Some high blood pressure medications cannot be stopped suddenly, but must be gradually decreased. Also, your mother's social life should not be neglected. Visitors could be invited with the understanding that topics your mother finds provocative (politics, race, religion, money, . . . ) will not be discussed. If she has always attended religious services, maybe members of the congregation will take her to the services for you.

 

[dragona]

Everything you have mentioned here is correct. Meds she has to take are alterning her personality to the point of paranoia and voices hearing, having fears of leaving the house, though she needs the excercise as minimal as she can mannage, anyway. It is a closed circle, sidefects of that sort are hightened by having nothing to do to avert her mind, I am of that opinion.
In addition, the woman is stubborn to the point of absurdity and whatever I suggest for her to do - call old friends or relatives, go for a short walk, eat regularily or take vitamines - she won`t do it, at least not without a struggle. She is not stepping from her logic of things, she was always that way. I should pick my battles, silly ones I cant do no more over again.
But I don`t see the answer about resolve here. Anytime soon

 

[white owl]

Hi Dragona,



I sympathize with you. I also deal with taking care of an ill Mother. Its the nature of the beast , its all apart

of the cycle of life. They changed our diapers now we have to change theirs (maybe not to that extent, but might as well be some days

huh?) I am grateful for my sister's help & that she lives in the same town. I dont know what I would do w/out her help in regards to Mom. I am also grateful that she gets jealous if I give to much attention to our Mother. Tho, she doesn't know this, but she is a Mama's girl, and now that once annoyed me..I am ever so grateful for her jealousy.



I see with your reading, that yes you are making a sacrifice of your goals, in the highest sense to provide care for your Mom.

Inside of this reading, you have hexagrams 11 & 54. 54 is tagged with 19.4. Kind of says to me that you are a noble servant right now. You are doing alot of chores, tasks, etc. Hex 11 is tagged w/ 19.3... finding peace in the midst of all this care giving is the solution to move to the next step to seek help from other family members, maybe a non-profit organization, senior center. My sister & I signed up our Mom in a care giving home. The waiting list is about 4- 5 yrs. That was about 2 yrs ago. Hang in there Dragona, your not alone. Its almost like having a new baby to take care of..our needs all of a sudden become second.



WO

 

[dragona]

Thank you for sharing..and I dont feel noble, just that my life is going down the drain, there is nothing good about this situation because it has gone to the extreme. If I wanted children, I would get some while ago...yes, I am bitter because I am judged by my own sister for not being industrious enough to find a job instantly when I lost previous one, so I took mother out of a private nursing home, where they all just sat and watched tv, medicated and mostly by themselves. My mother takes her side always, she has a family of her own, so she is better than me. My sister is too judgemental, wants me to report to her etc. so she would say in return "I told you so". Consider yourself lucky there...the strongest prisons are those we make ourselves.