advocating for my son 22.5.6>63

[suzette]

My 12 year old son is in a special school for kids with behavioral challenges. He ended up there because of continuous power struggles that he had with teachers in the public school environment. However, the special ed staff we are dealing with right now seem to be even more reactive, which exacerbates the problem. And in addition, his academics are going backwards.

My husband and I are clear that he needs to be going somewhere else. However, we are also nervous that this will be a hard sell, as we are dependent on a public school decision.

I asked, "How can I best advocate for my son within the school system?"

Answer: 22.5.6>63

I think that a simple concise statement would work in terms of the changing lines of 22, but I'm not so sure what hex 63 signifies.

Any feedback is appreciated!

 

[goddessliss]

Hey suzette, Hexagram 63 means that it's the right time to be doing something about this situation but you really need a concrete goal to work towards. Like what exactly are you wanting and what are your expectations for the next school he goes to. If you have a clear goal in mind for your son then your hard sell won't be so hard anymore, there is no point in trying to put him into a school that doesn't meet his needs only for this to happen all over again. I know there is a government school in my area that seems to be the school that these sort of children end up in because they care enough to meet these children's needs. Liss

 

[pocossin]

How can I best advocate for my son within the school system?
22.5.6 > 63

"Behavior challenges," I suppose, is a euphemism for aggression and disrespect. You can best advocate for your son by enforcing good manners at home. Basic civility is an extraordinary advantage in life. It means employment and promotion. I have a black neighbor who is helping to raise her grandchildren. Their manners are so good that it is a pleasure to be in their presence. Anything I do for them is acknowledge by a 'thank you'. Even though they are only nine and ten, a good future for them is assured. I agree that you should do what you can to get your son back into a normal school. He has been labeled a trouble maker, and this label will stick until his behavior clearly changes, and he will be associating will persons with inferior social skills. Teach this young fellow to say "Yes, sir" and "No, sir" or "ma'am" as the case may be at home. "Thank you, sir" and "Thank you, ma'am." Enforce this discipline at home, and his change in behavior will eventually be recognized, and he will be move back into a normal school.

Hexagram 22 is the hexagram of the horse, a beautiful and trainable animal. It pertains to the acquisition of social skills by the young in the home. Line 5 relates to communication, and line 6 to limitations, that is, proprieties. Hexagram 63 relates to a change in spirit. I wish you success in educating your son.

 

[suzette]

Thanks for your responses.

This kid doesn't just have problems with authority. His inability to adapt socially had resulted in having no friends, or ability to follow through with hobbies or sports. This is especially tragic for him, because relationships are actually quite important to him. It is like he is tone deaf when it comes to picking up social cues. HE spooks at his own shadow, and often gets violently upset at anything that deviates from his expectation.

I do appreciate that behavioral stuff is often interpreted as parents not creating a structured environment, but we've got plenty of coaching on importance of imposing consequences for non-preferred behavior and having high expectations for socially correct behavior.

Having said that, I do think that my son is going to have to make a decision to put forth the extra effort necessary. And really what it has to do with is trusting the world around him, rather than feeling that he has to be in control all the time.

I asked, "How can I best help my son to learn to follow?"
46.1.5>5

This says to me that it will take a consistent steady persistance, with an attitude of hopeful expectation. Does that sound right?

 

[diamanda]

I asked, "How can I best help my son to learn to follow?"
46.1.5>5

I read your answer like this.

46 - it's up to the adult ('great man'), then (the child) has nothing to worry about
46.1 - teach him to ask for permission in every step he takes, and give permission.
46.5 - when he takes the permitted step...
5 - make him wait.

In my opinion, 'wait' here means delay gratification. It's normal for little children to follow adults' instructions and ask for permission, till they have learned basic rules. So, if you immediately reward the fact that he asks for permission, then it will feel to him like he just did something very special. It's not special. Make it look normal. Teach him to ask for permission for everything, and don't rush to reward him for every little thing.

Wishing you good luck!

PS -
"Having said that, I do think that my son is going to have to make a decision"
Your son is a child. Perhaps it's not good if you leave this up to him, he doesn't know much, he's too little.

 

[Trojina]

I asked, "How can I best help my son to learn to follow?"
46.1.5>5

This says to me that it will take a consistent steady persistance, with an attitude of hopeful expectation. Does that sound right?

Yes