After the ending: Where do I go from here?

[myladythunder]

Hi folks,

It's been a while since I felt the need to consult the Yi. Two weeks ago I finally ended my relationship with X. We were together for 2 years, but it's always been a relationship with big question marks for me. He's an addict who remains in denial about his addiction. I've tried all kinds of different approaches over time and my believe in him as well as my tolerance are all but depleted. I've been having difficulties with letting him go, it's my own fear for being alone again that has kept me from making this decision. Now that I've finally pushed through, I feel utterly empty and lost. I know and trust that things will turn for the better eventually, but in the mean time I could really use some guidance.

I asked 'Where do i go from here?' and received hex 31.5
‘Influence in the neck and shoulders. No regrets.’ Somewhere on 'Exploring divination' I read about this line: (from Rosada)
The fanyo of 31.5 is 62.5 and this line talks about attracting the help one needs!
and
But Change Happens and more and more we do recognize we can survive being true to ourselves and we wont be alone (31.5/62.5)

That answers feels about right, but I would appreciate other peoples approach on this reading.

 

[cris]

Hi Lady,

if I had received your reading I would interpret it as a big encouragement from the Yi. Wilhelm's commentary says about 31.5 "(...) the will remains firm and the influence does not lead to confusion". You have made the right decision and there's no room for regrets. Don't let anyone - your ex, or your own self - drag you back into this relationship; keep strong and move on, day by day, attending to your chores as indicated by Hex 62. It's the burden of each small day that will take you far.

Just a newbie's two cents. I've gone through the same in the past and know exactly how you feel. Hold on: it can only get better, and it will. I wish you all the best

 

[myladythunder]

Hi Cris,

You've been through the same you say? Do you mean you've been through a difficult breakup or a difficult breakup with an addict?

I can feel the rightness of my decision in my heart. Despite knowing that I've made the right decision I still have feelings for him. That's why I have to keep strong indeed.

Your 2 cents are much appreciated, thanks for your wonderful insight

 

[kevin]

myladythunder

I can only give my take on the reading in the way it speaks to me.

FWIW here it is:

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[/FONT]31 - The core idea of this hexagram is ‘coupling with a new fate’. (Fate here does not mean predestined - We create our fates).


Trigrams: Lake or Mist on or above the Mountain. Keeping steady and still inside gives you the ability to experience friendship, community, and joy in the outer world. Keep still and find the places where you can express the pleasure of ‘who you are’.

Imagine yourself as a great immovable mountain of still beauty as the world rages around you. Now add to that yourself on the top of that mountain with your arms stretched out to the sky and world, singing an empowered, beautiful, happy song which welcomes the spirit of your new time. A bright mist adorning the mountain top.

Looking at the line at 31.5.
(I prefer the Crossline method which is more extended that the Fan Yao. It tells a very good story of how the person got to where they are or how their Change projects itself forwards. In this case it is a forward projection of:

31.5 (62.5--- 62.2) 32.2

31.5 – You feel your new connection (to the spirit of the time) is in your neck… This is the neck shoulder area, it is a place of power in movement… Try pushing something heavy, you will see what this means.

Moves to

62 - Is Small Dao – Perhaps better seen as the Dao of the Spirit and inner world. It is a transforming site (hexagram) of deep personal change.

62.5 – Be patient it (the cleansing releasing rains) have not arrived yet, but you will meet someone who has been in retreat and, through your actions, you will make the connection to your new self/time/fate enduring and sustaining.

62.2 – The Grandfather is the Yang root of who you are and the Grandmother is the Yin root. Imagine your female ancestry… all of your female forebears who bore their daughters, each who bore children, nurtured them and who held he centre together. The centre is the place around which the world revolves it is the central manifestation of all. It is a strong place within you which this line calls you to draw upon and from it the strength of your female forebears.

Moves to the culminating resolution:

32 – Heng – Fixing the omen – or fixing the change so that it perseveres. With out ‘fixing’ there is no constancy and lessons and new possibilities are lost, blown away by the winds of change. It is a very key time/space in Yi (Changes).


32.2 – Line two is your inner centre. It is the place where your self is centred. Your spirit, your heart, your shadows and inner injuries. This line is a simple command to fix the changes that are occurring, make them part of your inner centre so that they are part of your foundation and they will carry you forward through this new time of strength and growth.

I hope this is helpful.

Afterthought: This is perhaps the direction of travel at first glance. I know from experience that such changes not only bring up the pain and doubts from the situation, but also they raise the dust of past hurts.

If you look into the reading as it is laid it out there is perhaps an answer as to 'How' in there too.

I wish you well with these changes in this difficult time.

 

[myladythunder]

Hi Kevin,

I can feel instinctively that this is indeed a time of great change and new opportunities for me. So much of my sense of individuality has been smothered in this relationship and now that I'm finally free again I feel scared and euphoric at the same time.

I know that I am still in a quiet, 'waiting' period right now, but even now I can feel creative and emotional blockages inside myself slowly crumbling. And that's a great feeling!

Your part about 'fixing' the changes got me thinking. I need to find my sense of self & creativity again in order to fix the change. I've always found great wisdom in the old religions, the ones with a mother goddess have always fascinated me, so what you said about imagining my female ancestry really makes sense to me on a spiritual level.

I feel hopeful again, it's just that I sometimes swing from hopeful to hurting in a matter of minutes. Very tiring... But I guess I should accept it as part of the healing process.

You gave me alot to think about, on many different levels! I think I'll go find myself a real life mountain to meditate, sing, chant and dance upon

Thanks a million for your wise insight!

 

[kevin]

Thanks

It's maybe more easy to seem wise when one is not going through this sort of Trauma / Change.

Just a thought... 62.5... I wonder if the waiting for the 'release and the rain' is about tears?

Crying is a wonderful thing.

I have never, until this conversation, really realized that it is possibly a way of embracing change.

How often I have 'waited for the rain' only to find that my own release from emotional drought (blockage, stuckness, tearing loss) was my going with the pain..and venting it in tears.

Thank you for this insight. These things are so two way.

Your last post was heartening too.

Extra thought: When you get atop of that mountain... (Do it! That action would most definitely Heng or fix the change)... along with dancing and singing maybe you might rail against the pain of it all... Burst the banks of the old and grow onwards... becoming you.

 

[cris]

Hi Cris,

You've been through the same you say? Do you mean you've been through a difficult breakup or a difficult breakup with an addict?

No, no addicts, My Lady... just my share of difficult break-ups, like most of us, I guess...

Glad to see this thread is helping you