Another people problem

[precision grace]

Hi, I need your help again! I want to start talking to this guy at work, mostly because the work he does is really awesome and I would like to learn about how he does what he does. However, while I will usually just go up to whoever, introduce myself and start chatting, here I don't have a legitimate work related reason to approach and otherwise feel too self conscious because he is kind of cute and I am feeling uncharacteristically shy. I have now cast 24 unchanging twice about this issue which is completely weird because there is nothing to return to - we've spoken twice I think, or rather, twice I said something and he looked at me and blinked a lot. I don't know how to interpret 24 in this situation - please help!

 

[Trojina]

well what you generally return to in 24 is yourself, your own path. I'm afraid I feel this answer advises you not to pursue approaching him. That doesn't mean you won't get to know him in time but for now 24uc doesn't encourage extending oneself outwards. If you feel shy here it's becasue of a valid need to reconnect with the core PG before going any further. It seems to me your shyness here protects you or is timely. Maybe get comfortable within yourself and then see what he does....doesn't look like advise for you to do the running PG. It may also mean drop the idea....I've known that with 24uc many times. it's like 'come back to your self from this direction, rest,....

In any case why not just let him do the approaching andif he doesn't well then he doesn't. It might be that always extending yourself isn't doing you much good right now. Smiling is enough.....it's good that feel uncharacteristically shy here IMO

 

[precision grace]

thanks T, I suspected the 24uc was about dropping the idea. Don't think we made it as far as 24 over at the uc hexagrams threads in the Explorations? How long do I have to not do anything before I know what this 24 meant?

 

[Trojina]

Hard to say....sometimes I can think I know what an answer meant only to see another layer of it 6 weeks/months/years down the road...we just have to use what we understand at the present time. I do recall 24 uc as a daily reading was definately a rather nice duvet day

 

[anemos]

I have now cast 24 unchanging twice about this issue which is completely weird because there is nothing to return to

I am feeling uncharacteristically shy.

maybe this is what you have to return from . If feeling shy is kind of "out of home" for you.

H24 : friends come and go without angst .

 

[precision grace]

maybe this is what you have to return from . If feeling shy is kind of "out of home" for you.

H24 : friends come and go without angst .

thanks anemos. this line about friends coming and going had me confused too, so I asked for clarification, just to be sure "What should my attitude be towards this guy?" and received 31.2 > 28 "without angst" being the key here I think

 

[precision grace]

So I've been doing mostly nothing, in a non-angsty way, as advised. In person that is. I may have 'accidentally' commented on something this person has put online though. I couldn't help myself! Anyhow, conscious of how I've 'transgressed' this unspoken rule of no approach, I asked Yi for an assessment of what's going to happen next: 37.1 > 53

I found a thread where tukchang and brad have a bit of a falling out over this line and for the life of me I cannot understand the issue. I also cannot understand what tukchang's expression "discipline available in the family" refers to.

Looking at my situation, I am guessing this refers to either myself or the other party or both exercising self-discipline in respect to this issue. I'd be inclined to interpret this is as me berrating myself for making an overture when I 'knew' I wasn't supposed to do that.
Anyone has a different slant?

 

[rodaki]

For me this line (37.1) has been mostly about a conditional 'closeness', like that brought about by working on a common project, for example, or sharing the office kitchen/space etc

Btw, hx24 also shows your comfort zone, so getting it unchanged could also be advising you to only do what feels comfortable/agrees with the setting or rules of the place you meet (that doesn't have to mean 'do nothing' though)

 

[precision grace]

thanks Rodaki, useful viewpoint.
What you said, in terms of what feels comfortable with the rules of the place we meet, definitely rings true and I have been going by that. I'm just feeling awkward because for once I want to talk to someone and they are not engaging me in conversation or making it possible for me to start talking to them! Why are people so annoying? lol

 

[precision grace]

An update of sorts. So funny thing happened, this person's and my work ended up being shown 'side by side' within the common project organised by someone else in our organisation - I was suprised to see this and it made me think if this could be the 37.1 from earlier - what Rodaki termed 'conditional closeness' such as in work context?

In person, there has been nothing at all but I somehow thought it would be appropriate to enquire about any potential development of this non-relationship given this new information and received 1 with lines 2.4.6 changing into 63.
Now, the whole 1 to 63 circle struck me as a very complete thing - what was going to happen has happened and the end was that the dragon (i.e. me?) went too far and thus closed any possibility of further relating (63). I am therefore closing this 'case' now and would not expect any further developments. However, if anyone sees things differently, please do say, as it is important not to mis-interpret the readings.

 

[precision grace]

Further update..
This whole thing is definitely a bit on a weird side to be honest. Anyway, got stuck in the lift today with this guy, I swear I've never come across anyone that grumpy. Sure, nobody HAS to make small talk in a tiny lift, but it's just Soo awkward when you've been seeing someone casually in passing every day for weeks and then they try and behave as if they've never laid eyes on you before. I was even relaxed and tried to smile in a friendly way but nothing - just head down and 'don't talk to me' vibe.
I got 19.2 > 24 after this. Back to 24 then. lol

PS I have to add it is definitely not me because other people in his group actually nod and smile at me if they see me when he is not around. And we are definitely not 6 years old either..

 

[littlebuddha]

Hi, I need your help again! I want to start talking to this guy at work, mostly because the work he does is really awesome and I would like to learn about how he does what he does. However, while I will usually just go up to whoever, introduce myself and start chatting, here I don't have a legitimate work related reason to approach and otherwise feel too self conscious because he is kind of cute and I am feeling uncharacteristically shy. I have now cast 24 unchanging twice about this issue which is completely weird because there is nothing to return to - we've spoken twice I think, or rather, twice I said something and he looked at me and blinked a lot. I don't know how to interpret 24 in this situation - please help!

Precision Grace, i apologize for replying without having read other comments - will do that later on, i do it not out of disrespect - but to avoid altering my own impressions - while reading the input of others (who are normally more knowledgeable and experienced with Yi.)
So, my first thoughts were that 'Return' here is telling you that you have the same qualities you like in this colleague (otherwise you wouldn't recognize them in the first place), but that it might be better for everyone involved - you, the work itself etc. - that you develop and take further your own skills independently, without this guy's (or anyone else's) guidance and input. I don't know what is your profession, but it's as if by developing your own style you will further the whole environment there. (Off to read what the wise peeps said )

 

[precision grace]

hi littlebuddha, thanks for your comments.

Actually, I managed to get somewhere by talking to other people. Usually I like to take the most direct route possible from A to B but this time it wasn't possible to do that so I went the roundabout way and got the information I wanted and even access to the equipment I need.

Still a bit bewildered by the sheer weirdness of attitude but hey, we are all different, and I am happy to leave a hornet's nest well alone

 

[precision grace]

final update

I came across this thread when looking for something else and thought I'd put in the final update. I don't know really how confidently it could be read into all those 24s, but basically this guy returned to his home country within weeks of our last encounter, so perhaps the Yi was all along saying, he is returning home, there is no point trying to develop a collegiate relationship. Then, some time later, he came back to collect some things and we were in the lift again and he was as friendly and as chatty as anything. Friends come and go and no error is committed. 24 uc.

 

[1eleven]

Thanks for the update!

Jon