Attempted Contact from Without

[exomani]

I understand that this is perhaps not what you wanted to hear, and that what i said does not agree with your own interpretation, but
i assure you i'm not trying to blame you for anything, and i do mean
well. I know only too well myself the immense value of inner freedom.
Wishing you a great 14 experience!

Dear diamanda,

Thank you for the time you have taken to read and comment on my posts. Your comments are very insightful. You have a real gift for interpreting the answers of The Oracle.

While I have not quite reached the point of complete detachment and indifference to my issue, I am very close.

I will not go into the details of how my old flame broke up with me. It is sufficient to say that it could not have been done in a more callus manner, or in a way that could have caused me more psychological harm. The bottom line being: My old flame had/has no right to expect me to have anything to do with her again in this lifetime.

You could very well be completely correct about this current situation. That is, it may have nothing at all to do with her, and, instead, be all about me.

Still, The Oracle has never played games with me, like this, in the past. While it has often given me answers and advice that I did not like, or want to hear, and the occasional “oblique” answer, it has never given me deceptive answers.

In this particular case, if The Oracle had answered “No. You will not be contacted again by your Old Flame.” I would have, at worse, asked the same question again, a few more times, and received, no doubt, the same answer. And, I would have moved on, as I am doing now.

The current circumstances in my live are that I am moving on anyway, and if my old flame is going to ever attempt to contact me again, this is, pretty much, her last chance. I won’t go into the details concerning why this is the case. Suffice it to say that the time, people, and trigger event are all in alignment right now, and for the last time. After that, her “window of opportunity” will be closed, pretty much, forever.

I freely admit that I am deriving a certain, and admittedly perverse, pleasure from the thought of her trying to contact me yet again. I wouldn’t be being honest with myself, or anyone else, if I didn’t make that admission. And, I wouldn’t be behaving like a human being dealing with what is, in stark reality, something that has happened to just about every other human being that has lived a long and full life. I'm perfectly aware that I am not the only person on this planet that has had to deal with the pain of unrequited love.

But, time will tell, and quickly, whether, or not, this is all just in my head, or things are really in motion out there in the real world, as I suspect. Either way, I can deal with the end result, as the end result with be the same in either case.

Rather than posting them piecemeal, as I have been doing, I will post the rest of my questions to, and answers from, The Oracle in one long post. After that, it will just be a matter of sitting back and watching how this all plays out.

Thank you, again, for your insights. You really do have a gift for this sort of thing, as well as the empathy and sensitivity to make your comments and advice useful to others.

 

[exomani]

Frankly, the entire thing has a whiff of fiction about it.

Do you still believe that line 4, of hexagram 50, refers to my fate?

No? Aren’t you really just trying to fulfill your own INFLEXIBLE prophecy concerning your interpretation of The Oracle’s answer to MY question? Aren’t you still just trying to break the legs of my Ting? Haven’t you caught on yet that it’s too late for you to spill my meal or soil me? Haven’t you realized yet that that time has already past?

If I were writing a work of fiction, do you really think I would skip over “the breakup scene”? What are the most quoted, most memorable, the very signature moments of “Casablanca” and “Gone With the Wind”?

Isn’t it really the case that you just do not want to accept some of the interpretations that you, yourself, have made concerning my questions and answers? Aren’t some of these answers plan as day to the male of the species?

Don’t you have the most obvious means available to you, to test your accusation concerning the truth of what I have written? No? Do I really have to give YOU a hint?

And, last, but not least, have you, personally, asked The Oracle the following question: Do I possess the sublimity, constancy, and perseverance required to interpret other people’s answers to their questions to the I Ching, and to post my interpretations on the internet for all to see?

 

[exomani]

As for consulting the I Ching to check whether I am capable of consulting the I Ching, I have never heard of such a farcical idea

And yet, you call me a fool?

 

[exomani]

On 8-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my seventh question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”.

I should not have asked this question, either, as it had already been answered when The Oracle answered my first question. Again, it illustrates that even a person familiar with the ways of the I Ching can be easily tempted to misuse The Oracle, especially when they are in an agitated state of mind.

Question of 8-Jul-08:

Am I likely to be contacted by (Initials of Old Flame) in the near future?

Answer of 8-Jul-08:

Hexagram 42 – I/ Increase, with changing line 6;

Changing into Hexagram 3 – Chun/ Difficulty at the Beginning.

My interpretation of The Oracle’s answer of 8-Jul-08:

My note to myself of that day, after receiving The Oracle’s answer, reads: Compose yourself!

The Oracle gave me a stern warning with this answer, but sent me back to hexagram 42 – I/ Increase again, albeit with a different changing line. I have often found that The Oracle “zeros in” on a specific hexagram, or hexagrams, when answering a series of questions concerning the same problem. So, I was not really surprised to see The Oracle return to a variation of the answer to my first question.

In any case, I interpreted The Oracle’s answer to my question as an affirmative.

On 9-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my eighth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

I know I shouldn’t ask, but I really want to know: Does (Initials of Old Flame), or will (Initials of Old Flame) want a sexual relationship with me, or just the same old being chased?

Answer of 9-Jul-08:

Hexagram 4 – Meng/ Youthful Folly, with changing lines 1, and 5;

Changing into Hexagram 61 – Chung Fu/ Inner Truth.

My interpretation of The Oracle’s answer of 9-Jul-08:

Obviously, even at my age, I’m still capable of Youthful Folly, and of thinking with something other than my brain. (And, in truth, I have received hexagram 4 – Meng/ Youthful Folly as an answer from The Oracle on other occasions, as well.) And, please note, I could have, obviously, skipped over divulging this particular question and answer, thus avoiding any “humiliation” associated with it, and no one would be any the wiser. I am, however, trying to present a completely truthful study of how the I Ching works for me, to other serious students of The Oracle. So, there’s my eighth question and answer, warts, minor humiliation, and all.

Again, I must point out, The Oracle had already answered this question, as part of the answer to my third question.

Getting back to my interpretation; I think overall, The Oracle was a little bit amused by my question. It gave me a warning in 4.1, but a kind, fatherly answer in 4.5., and, in addition to that, hexagram 61 – Chung Fu/ Inner Truth, was part of the answer to my first question. There has to be some significance to that.

Last on this particular question and answer; it is significant that I did not use the term “intimate”, as I would normally do, when asking The Oracle a relationship question. (Even though I, admittedly, don’t always think with my brain, I really do know the difference between sex and intimacy.) Therefore, I attribute the wording of my question to the fact that I already knew/know that there was/is absolutely no chance of an “intimate” relationship with my old flame. That’s not the kind of person she was, and some things never change.

Later, on 9-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my ninth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

Would it in any way be mutually beneficial to bond with (Initials of Old Flame), or is it better to close and move on.

Answer to second question of 9-Jul-08:

Hexagram 56 – Lu/ The Wanderer, with changing lines 2, and 6;

Changing into Hexagram 32 – Heng/ Duration

My notes of 9-Jul-08 concerning this answer are as follows:

A serious warning at the top.

No. Stay where you are.

My further interpretation of The Oracle’s second answer of 9-Jul-08:

Once again, this was a question that I should not have asked, as The Oracle had already answered it. And, in truth, I already understood most of the answer.

Obviously, I was still in an agitated state of mind when I asked this question. But, in my defense, I was still trying to figure out the full meaning of the answer to my fifth question (I think I MAY have finally figured it out, and will write about that a little later.), when I was given the answer: Hexagram 14 – Ta Yu/ Possession in Great Measure.

It is also worth noting that, once again, The Oracle has given me an answer that includes hexagrams from its previous answers. Hexagram 56 – Lu/ The Wanderer, was the answer to my fourth question, and hexagram 32 – Heng/ Duration, was part of the answer to my third question.

Last, as I did not mention it before, hexagram 56 – Lu/ The Wanderer, is particularly meaningful to me. The Oracle has often given me this hexagram as an answer to a question, and, over the years, I have come to think of myself as a wanderer.

On 10-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my tenth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

What are the consequences of simply not permitting contact?

Answer of 10-Jul-08 to my tenth question:

Hexagram 10 – Lu/ Treading (conduct), with changing lines 1, and 5;

Changing into Hexagram 64 – Wei Chi/ Before Completion

My notes of 10-Jul-08 concerning the answer to my tenth question are as follows:

Simple conduct.
Progress without
blame.

Resolute conduct
Perseverance with
awareness of danger

1. The superior man would do better.
2. Before completion – It isn’t finished yet.

My further comments concerning The Oracle’s answer to my tenth question:

I should point out, on 10-Jul-08, my agitation was, at last, beginning to dissipate. I had asked a new question, rather than a repeat of an old question, or an unasked question that had already been answered by The Oracle.

On 11-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my eleventh question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

I know I’m obsessing again, and that I probably should not ask this question. But it’s been so many years, and I want this to end! So, is attempted contact likely to occur before, during, or after the reunion?

Answer of 11-Jul-08 to my eleventh question:

Hexagram 27 – I/ Corners of the Mouth (Providing Nourishment), with no changing lines.

My notes of 11-Jul-08 concerning the answer to my eleventh question are as follows:

I don’t think before?

My further comments concerning The Oracle’s answer to my eleventh question are as follows:

There was no clear, unambiguous answer from The Oracle in the case of this question. But, I do not believe in predestination, so that was not a big surprise to me. (I had, after all, used the word “likely” in framing my question.)

Nevertheless, notification of our 40th High School Reunion triggered my premonition, and is likely to be some sort of triggering mechanism for my old flame, as well.

Last, as I have not mentioned it before; I will not be attending this reunion, as I have never attended any of our high school reunions.

Later, on 11-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my twelfth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

This is so sad. What must I , as the superior man, do to move beyond this situation?

Answer of 11-Jul-08 to my twelfth question:

Hexagram 15 – Ch’ien/ Modesty, with changing lines 1, 3, and 4;

Changing into hexagram 51 – Chen/ The Arousing (Shock, Thunder)

My notes of 11-Jul-08 concerning the answer to my twelfth question are as follows:

The superior man carries things through.

The arousal means beginning, arising.

The superior man sets his life in order and examines himself.

My further comments concerning The Oracle’s answer to my twelfth question are as follows:

The first hexagram, the three (3) changing lines, and the second hexagram are all favorable. Everything about this answer indicates that it is within, or will be within, my power to move beyond my situation. Everything in The Oracle’s answer indicates how this should be done.

After receiving this answer from The Oracle, almost all of my previous agitation dissipated. I didn’t bother The Oracle again for almost two (2) weeks.

On 24-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my thirteenth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

What is (Initials of Old Flame) underlying motivation, in initiating contact now?

Answer of 24-Jul-08 to my thirteenth question:

Hexagram 4 – Meng/ Youthful Folly, with changing line 2;

Changing into Hexagram 23 – Po/ Splitting Apart

My comments concerning The Oracle’s answer to my thirteenth question are as follows:

I have been given hexagram 4 – Meng/ Youthful Folly as an answer again, but with a different, favorable changing line.

The Oracle is, again, telling me that it has already answered my question, and is giving me excellent advice on handling this situation, as follows:

“To bear with fools in kindliness brings good fortune.
To know how to take women
Brings good fortune.
The son is capable of taking charge of the household.”

The second hexagram, 23 – Po/ Splitting Apart, usually makes me cringe when I receive it as an answer. In the past, this hexagram has been the harbinger of some extremely serious misfortune for me. I do not take this hexagram lightly.

In this particular case, however, I felt, and feel now, no sense of foreboding or impending doom. This leads me to believe that this hexagram does not apply to me at all, but to my old flame. And, after all, my question was about her, not me. Is she going through some kind of a midlife crisis, or divorce, or something like that? Perhaps, and if I am interrupting The Oracle’s answers correctly, I will soon find out.

On 25-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my fourteenth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

Any future relationship will be on my terms. That won’t be acceptable to (Initials of Old Flame) but, so be it. Is this the correct course of action for the superior man?

Answer of 25-Jul-08 to my fourteenth question:

Hexagram 59 – Huan/ Dispersion [ Dissolution ], with changing lines 1, 2, and 3;

Changing into Hexagram 37 – Chia Jen/ The Family

My notes of 25-Jul-08 concerning the answer to my fourteenth question are as follows:

???

My further comments concerning The Oracle’s answer to my fourteenth question are as follows:

I believe that The Oracle is simply telling me to dissolve my anger over this situation and pay attention to my own family. I don’t think it’s really any more complicated than that.

After receiving this answer from The Oracle, I didn’t bother it again for almost a week.

On 30-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my fifteenth, question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”, as follows:

When is attempted contact likely to be made?

Answer of 30-Jul-08 to my fifteenth question:

Hexagram 19 – Lin/ Approach, with changing lines 1, 2, and 5;

Changing into Hexagram 8 – Holding Together [ Union ]

My notes of 30-Jul-08 concerning the answer to my fifteenth question are as follows:

8th month. August or Oct-Nov.

My further comments concerning The Oracle’s answer to my fifteenth question are as follows:

First, when I asked this question, I was well aware that I had done that already, that I don’t believe in predestination, and that The Oracle’s limited, cryptic language makes it difficult for it to answer such a question, even if it wanted to answer it. Still, I felt that The Oracle was ready to give me some additional information and asked my question anyway.

The answer I received from The Oracle doesn’t get much plainer than that. I was, however, initially wrong about “Oct-Nov”, but that’s what sometimes happens when you count too quickly on your fingers. I double checked the “eighth month” and have verified that, in the language and calendar of the I Ching, this is the Chinese Eighth Lunar Month, which starts on Sunday, 31-Aug-08. So, even if I interpret the answer to my question in the very broadest sense, “Approach” is likely to take place sometime between the beginning of August and the end of September of this year.

“Approach” during this time frame also makes sense to me for a number of other reasons, as well. The reunion, the main trigger event for this situation, will take place in mid-August. On top of that, there are a number of birthdays coming up (Hers, mine, another classmate’s, and a relative’s.) that will act as additional triggers, as well as excuses for making contact.

I think that lines 1 and 2 of Hexagram 19 – Lin/ Approach, indicate how my old flame’s approach is likely to be made, that is, with the aid of a third party. This is an old MO of my old flame’s, so it’s not totally unexpected. Plus, as I have an unlisted telephone number, she needed to get my number from a close friend, or relative, the last time she called me. (I’m pretty sure she got it from my brother, although he never “clearly” admitted it to me, and I never asked him about it.)

I also believe that the following quote from the judgement of hexagram 8 – Holding Together [ Union ], sums up the current situation quite well:

“Those who are uncertain gradually join.
Whoever come too late
Meets with misfortune.”

To me, this means, it is far too late for her to form any kind of “union” with me. She comes too late.

Summary:

I have asked far too many questions of The Oracle, concerning this personal matter. Nevertheless, I have received the guidance I sought and I am now at peace with myself.

In truth, I no longer even feel the need to complete this little essay, but as The Oracle advised me on 31-Jul-08, “The superior man carries things through.” And, I must admit, writing this little essay has helped me to put this issue into proper perspective and purge a lot of my old, negative, emotional baggage. If another student of the I Ching can find some value in my essay, that is even better.

As to how I should deal with my old flame, should she attempt to contact me again? I think hexagram 14 – Ta Yu/ Possession in Great Measure and line 2 of hexagram 4 – Meng/ Youthful Folly, sum it up quite well. I can afford to be magnanimous about this situation, at this point in my life, without stooping to petty meanness, or unpleasantness.

Now, it only remains to wait and see what happens in the near future. I really don’t much care if my old flame ever attempts to contact me again, or not. I will, however, be disappointed if I have misinterpreted the answers The Oracle has given me.

Time will tell.

 

[diamanda]

Exomani, your first posts gave the impression that the issue you
have with this OF (= Old Flame) was one of fear, and/or revenge,
and/or intense dislike, as well as some old unhealed feelings of
rejection... However, your questions show only one thing: you're
still in love with her, and you still fancy her, that much is clear
as day now. So all the remaining sexual attraction and hopes for
renewal, described in your answers, come from your part. You said
you often get 56. I can see why. You are not in love with your wife,
and you feel alone. Your heart is still with OF. Obviously it has long
ended for her (a phone call in a decade doesn't show much; she's
not even 'avoiding' you, like you do her). So, it's not a matter that
you've got a 'premonition'; it sounds rather like a strong hope to me.

Am I likely to be contacted by OF in the near future?
42:6 - strong warning, misfortune threatens; compose yourself
3 - no

Does OF, or will OF want a sexual relationship with me, or just
("just"...?) the same old being chased? 4, lines 1 and 5, to 61
Well, obviously no. It's you who is longing for that. 'And you know it
already in your heart'. Again, 61 in your initial answer, you need to
look into your inner truth. In there you know the answers already.

Would it in any way be mutually beneficial to bond with OF, or is
it better to close and move on. 56, 2 and 6, to 32.
You are treating your home & wife as an inn & servant. If you continue,
you'll burn it all with your own hands. You should be seeking duration.
(as you said yourself: stay where you are).

What are the consequences of simply not permitting contact?
10, lines 1 and 5, to 64
Nothing much. You'll just go about your business, you'll be resolved
to keep on avoiding her, thus still being entrapped in the whole
situation, ie the situation will not be resolved within you.

Is attempted contact likely to occur before, during, or after the reunion?
27 - "i've told you already"

What must I, as the superior man, do to move beyond this situation?
15, lines 1,3,4, to 51. You obviously need a shock to get you out of this.
You can go on moving modestly, and that's good, but you need external
shock. Perhaps that's why the I Ching is advising you to permit contact.
That will shock you into finally seeing the truth.

What is OF's underlying motivation, in initiating contact now?
Well, she hasn't actually! and probably won't. Hence the answer.
4, line 2, to 23.
When the situation is in the hands of an immature person, no matter
how good this person otherwise is, the result will be collapse. You
are being immature in this whole matter, no matter how great you
are in other respects in life. 23 should make you cringe, and so
should 42:6, and 56:6.

Any future relationship (see... ) will be on my terms. That won’t be
acceptable to OF (how do you know she even wants one?) but, so be it.
Is this the correct course of action for the superior man?
59, changes 1,2,3, to 37.
Dissolve this whole thought and turn to your family, as you said yourself.

When is attempted contact likely to be made? 19, lines 1,2,5, to 8
AT the reunion only. I can't see any 'private' approach anywhere.
Although im hoping she will, just so as to shock you and enable you
to break free from this story! Why don't you go to the reunion, and
sort this out once and for all...?

"To me, this means, it is far too late for her to form any kind of
“union” with me. She comes too late." - well i don't see her 'coming'
anywhere. I think the only one who still fancies her is you. And yes,
either if she comes or not, it is too late. You are married, and for
all you know, she may well be too. She doesn't 'come' too late,
because you really don't know (and it is highly unlikely) that she
will finally fall in love with you suddenly, out of the blue, after all
these endless years. She wasn't in love with you back then, so why
now? Where do you base this? Why would she suddenly be in love and
after you, since she has proved over the decades that this will never
happen..?

In conclusion, i'd advise you to look at the facts, and look at your
own questions again. Your questions are basically asking the
I Ching advice on how to rekindle the old flame, 'permission' to
rekindle the old flame, and form a new relationship with this
woman, 'on your terms'.... You've got all the prerequisites of
having 42:2, and of being 14. Don't let this old stale obsession
ruin your life, do all you can to put it behind you forever. So,
you've 'lost', and you'll never get a chance to 'win' with that woman.
She played with you and used you. She was never in love with you.
And you will never be able to 'make' her be in love with you and
respect you. And...? And so what? Don't know of anybody who
hasn't been there. But to still be obsessing with it, decades later..?
and without any facts to support it?
That's a bit too much, one would think...

Exomani, sorry if i sounded harsh, that's not my intention.
I just hate it when a groundless obsession is ruining anyone's
life and peace (i've been there myself at some point, although
nowhere near as long as you).

Wishing you good luck and a happy resolution!

 

[Trojina]

Absolutely Diamanda - wanted to say the same thing but did not have the stamina..

 

[martin]

I cannot judge if Diamanda is on the right track here, Exomani, that's for you to decide. But apart from everything else, it has been my experience that one has to be very careful with answers of an oracle about a relationship that doesn't actually exist in the present.
An oracle may, for instance, clearly indicate that you will meet soon or even promise a happy ever after, but chances are that nothing will happen at all.

My own explanation for this is that oracles pick up thoughts and feelings of the two persons involved and on the level of the oracle they count as real. For the oracle something is really happening. But it is only real in an inner sense, not in a physical sense.
In this case, perhaps she was thinking about you and perhaps her thoughts were positive. You picked up her thoughts and feelings (hence the premonition) and so did the oracle. That doesn't mean, however, that she plans to do something about it.

Having said that, consulting the oracle about things like this can still be useful for yourself. It might help in healing any wounds that still hurt. But I wouldn't count on it that she will indeed try to contact you (although she may of course) and your interpretations are not necessarily incorrect if she doesn't. It's just that what is real for an oracle may not be real for us. In a sense oracles don't 'live' in the same world as we humans do. They 'live', more than us, in the inner world. That can be quite confusing sometimes.

Anyway, all the best with this.

 

[exomani]

Exomani, your first posts gave the impression that the issue you have with this OF (= Old Flame) was one of fear, and/or revenge, and/or intense dislike, as well as some old unhealed feelings of rejection... However, your questions show only one thing: you're still in love with her, and you still fancy her, that much is clear as day now.

I can clearly see how you, and others, could reach that conclusion from my writings.

It is, however, not true. I realized a long time ago that my love was based on the fantasies I had woven for myself around this girl, and not the girl herself. I fell out of love with the flesh-and-blood girl a long, long time ago, although I am the first to admit, some fantasy still remains.

If you believe me,that's fine. If you don't believe me, that's understandable.

And, as far as meeting her again goes, I could do that at any time, if I really wanted to do that. After all, I have her phone number, I have her address, and a very misguided relative of mine even told me where she works. (I didn't ask.) I could easily arrange an "accidental" meeting with her, pretty much, any time I wanted.

The thing is, however, I really have nothing more to say to her. It's all been said, and it's all been done.

Like I've already said, time will tell how this all ends.

Thanks, again, for your valuable insights.

 

[exomani]

I cannot judge if Diamanda is on the right track here, Exomani, that's for you to decide. But apart from everything else, it has been my experience that one has to be very careful with answers of an oracle about a relationship that doesn't actually exist in the present.

In any case, I am at peace with myself, so something postive has already come out of all of this.

And, what will happen will happen. Time will tell.

Thank you for your insight.

 

[diamanda]

In love with someone who doesn't really 'exist', yep, i totally know what you mean...
I'm sure you know yourself how harmful this is. I do believe you when you say that
it's not the real-life girl that you want. And it's precisely prolonged absence that helps
those 'figures' grow in our hearts and minds and become a painful dream which we can
never quite reach. In my opinion, it would really help you to see her, speak with her,
and bring back down to 'reality' this inner loved ghost, and cut it back to size, and
tally it up with her as she really and truly is. It's no good to be in love with a ghost,
and of course you know it. Because the ghost is not real, but your love is, and not
only you're in love with that ghost, you also fancy it! it's no good; fall in love and
fancy a real person, otherwise you'll remain lonely (56) and surely you don't want to
continue living like that...? Go to the reunion!

 

[exomani]

Go to the reunion!

I fully understand why you are advising me to do this.

However, can you see anywhere, in any of its answers to my questions, where The Oracle has advised me to do this? Quite frankly, I do not.

 

[diamanda]

None of your questions were about you actually going to the reunion.
That was just my opinion (as everything else i wrote as well).

The oracle told you that good fortune will come from without (42:2).
It also spoke of a shock (again from without). Finally when you asked
when she is going to contact you, it spoke of joint approach (and i took
this to mean the reunion). I am not saying that all this tells you 'go to
the reunion'. That was only some friendly advice, which, along with the
oracle's advice, or any advice whatsoever really, you can take or leave.

But i do get the impression, from all these 'withouts', that this inner
issue cannot be solved internally only, it sounds as if you need something
external to help you out and ground you. And this, too, is also my opinion,
which is correct according to me, but i'm aware it could be wrong by other
people's standards. Each to their own.

 

[exomani]

None of your questions were about you actually going to the reunion.That was just my opinion (as everything else i wrote as well).

In truth, I have no reason to believe she is even going to attend this reunion, and every reason to believe she is not. (Her closest friend from our old high school class has already passed away, and very few of her other close friends have ever attended any of our reunions.) I could easily find out if she will be attending, of course, as she could easily find out if I am, or am not, going to attend. But, that would only get the old local rumor mill started. (We grew up in a very rural area, and everyone that still lives there still takes a keen interest in knowing everyone else's business. And that, by the way, is how I know more about my old flame's present life than I really want to know.)

Anyway, i know what you are saying: Take steps to decouple the reality from the fantasy.

It is good advice.

However, I am at peace with myself, right now, and am content to sit this one out.

If I'm bothered by this issue again, in a few months time, I can always arrange to bump into my old flame again, and under circumstances that are completely under my control. (The odds are extremely good that she wouldn't even know that I had seen her, if seeing her is all that it would take to finally "ground me".) (That's not stalking, is it? )

Anyway, thanks, again, for your insights and your advice.

 

[earlgrey9]

Hiya Twilight.

Means your old flame wants you to shag her senseless. Next!

OMG

 

[earlgrey9]

Hiya exomani

On 7-Jul-08, I asked The Oracle my sixth question concerning my premonition about “Attempted Contact from Without”.

In truth, I should not have asked this question, as it had already been answered when The Oracle answered my fourth question. It just goes to illustrate that even a person familiar with the ways of the I Ching can be easily tempted to misuse The Oracle.

My only excuse for asking this question, at the time, was my agitation over the answer I had received to my fifth question. That is, in the past, The Oracle had always clearly advised me to avoid all contact with my old flame. Now, years later, to my great surprise, it is advising me to treat her like my closest friend. (I am still puzzled by this advice, at the time of this posting. But, no doubt, the reason The Oracle has given me this advice will make itself know in time. Anyway, that is my experience with what I had thought to be strange advice from The Oracle, in the past.)

Anyway, here is my question of 7-Jul-08:

I understand (Meaning the answer to my fifth question. And, in my agitation, I thought I did, at the time. I was wrong.).

Is this likely to be a renewing, or an ending?

Answer of 7-Jul-08:

Hexagram – 39 Chien/ Obstruction, with no changing lines.

My interpretation of The Oracle’s answer of 7-Jul-08:

It will be an ending.

Here, The Oracle has given me that same answer to a redundant question, which in my personal experience, is a perfectly normal thing for the I Ching to do. (And, it didn’t rebuke me for asking the same question twice, which is not a perfectly normal response from The Oracle.)

Additional comments:

On 7-Jul-08, I was very agitated. The Oracle had given me advice, on the previous day, completely at odds with its past advice for handling the same situation. And yet, the situation is still the same! That is, no renewed relationship of any kind will develop out of this. So, what’s changed? What is different this time around?

It also occurred to me that I haven’t really explained why I am making this series of posts, so here goes:

In the past, I have always destroyed my questions, answers, and notes after a cycle in my life, where I have utilized The Oracle’s advice, has run its complete course. It occurred to me, with this particular repeating cycle, that my questions, answers, and notes may actually be of some use to a serious, fellow student of the I Ching. And so, here they are. As I expect this particular cycle to complete itself in, at most, two (2) more months, it will be over soon enough.

If you, the person reading this little living, ongoing “study” have no interest in it, that’s perfectly fine. You are under no obligation, from anyone, to continue reading it.

Hiya Exomani, I think something more is going on here with you and the forum, and you really know what you want to happen.
I think, and I'm only a beginner in the yi-ching with no knowledge. I think you should give the oracle a rest....and leave it, allowing your situation to follow it's own course, I think by pushing to hard,oracle reading, you will cause your self frustration. go out have a beer or coffee, sit down watch a film....loosen up and let ya life flow. please don't take this as me being rude, I really think you just need to settle yourself before anymore yi-ching reading, regards, Johny.