best rel'ship outcome: 43.2>49

[elizabeth]

You know sometimes i think it would be easier if you gave one of us his number and we have a good talk with him about where he stands with you...you know cut out Yi the middle man ? The conversation would start "Ahem you don't know me...erm but I'm doing some research for a forum on divination and ......"

Hee bring it on! He is getting into meditation and buddhism in search of inner peace, and so i am sure he'd be thrilled to have that kind of talk (OK maybe not thrilled, but at least not opposed to it) with someone! Gosh -- if only this could happen! I truly thought a similar thing recently, I wish he had a close male frined (or even female) who could sort of remove the veil and say "look at her and at your life and wake up." Kinda.

Trojan, I'm happy, of course, to hear you have a positive feeling about this, even across the ethernet and virtual void. I also have a weird fated feeling about it, the kinship thing you mentioned. I suppose if I didn't, i would not have lasted this long, i would have jumped ship long ago, there are so many issues he has to deal with now.

About the repeat readings -- i had thought that when we ask the Yi, the answer is only good on that day or that moment. Which is why a "where do i stand with him" or "how does he see me' from one month, may differ the next. That's why I asked again. But you're right, the answers start conflicting sometimes... I keep looking for hope and reassurance bc i only get it in spurts from him, its not an even keel at all, and i'm not used to that.

There definitely *is* lack of organization here, and I dont feel I can or shoudl be the one to add that element in. I did one more reading (I know, sorry) and it told me basically i can't be rushing things or showing (fully) how i feel. He knows i'm attracted to him and interested blah blah. He doenst know the EXTENT to which i am, I dont think. So for now, in order to not scare him totally away, i keep that to myself. The organization issue is frustrating though, bc I"m by nature highly efficient and organized, a big planner and so on. he is not. So my instinct is to step in and organize. And i have to fight that too, to be more receptive and give him LOTS of time. Which is *really* hard.

I have only 5 weeks left here too, until I leave the country. In some ways I"m glad bc i think it will force a separation that i hope might give him desired breathing room. He might forget me completely (which i dont want, but maybe that too is inevitable). Or maybe with space and time he will relax and think about me more and when i return (4 months!) he will greet me with open arms. I'm doing a LOT of praying these days needless to say.!

Anyway if others have input, i'm also open to it. Trojan - i hope you feel better and thanks again for your input!