Birthday Dinner Go or No Go - 54.2.6

[adarkana]

There's a long, old-as-time back story but basically, I accepted an invitation to dinner from a gentleman I know & am having second thoughts. He refuses to make any sort of commitment to me because he "can't" (a position he reiterated just this past Friday, as he intermittently does) but this week it's my birthday, and of course I'd like to be taken out.

I said "yes" but then questioned my own judgment, so inquired whether there would be error/mistake in following through. 54.6 especially makes this one of those writing-on-the-wall readings, I'm afraid, but please let me know if anyone thinks I'm wrong in thinking I should cancel.

He has been a major disappointment, but we are always so pleasant together it's hard to say no.

 

[lucia]

54.2

He has been a major disappointment

54.6

He refuses to make any sort of commitment to me because he "can't"

Lucia

 

[adarkana]

54.2.6 does fit amazingly well, as a description of the situation. Still, I don't know if it indicates I should actually cancel this date. I can't imagine it will be any different than any of the hundred others we've had, except it's my birthday & so I'm particularly inclined to go out--which he knows of course--changing my mind & refusing him at this stage would be the bigger statement.

As I type this out I see what depths there are in this answer, as it all ultimately comes down to empty courtship ritual. Impious, irreverent & without substance definitely, but It probably doesn't signify much whether I go or not.

Except, of course, for the matter of my own feelings.

 

[gato]

you want to get out with him and at the same time you don't ... so you want or you don't ? yi will not decide for you. it will help you take a decision but the decision is still yours.

 

[Trojina]

54.2.6 does fit amazingly well, as a description of the situation. Still, I don't know if it indicates I should actually cancel this date. I can't imagine it will be any different than any of the hundred others we've had, except it's my birthday & so I'm particularly inclined to go out--which he knows of course--changing my mind & refusing him at this stage would be the bigger statement.

As I type this out I see what depths there are in this answer, as it all ultimately comes down to empty courtship ritual. Impious, irreverent & without substance definitely, but It probably doesn't signify much whether I go or not.

Except, of course, for the matter of my own feelings.

Absolutely ! Your choice is entirely down to your feelings. Its like you ask 'is this shallow, it seems disapointing, and shallow' and Yi says 'its disapointing and shallow'..but theres no 'should' here IMO..but you know the score. Do you want to continue spending a special day in your year with someone with whom theres no real substance or feeling..the more time and energy you give to him the less time and energy is available to find a more rewarding relationship. However theres no onus on you to do one thing or another. If you decide you'd just be happy with a fairly pleasant evening out with him for your birthday this year then no reason not to..though if i were in your shoes I'd be thinking about how I'd want to have something more fulfilling lined up for next years birthday

So to recap i don't think the reading says you should or shouldn't cancel..it just shows you how it is and the decision is up to you, like Gato said..

(personally i feel theres probably better ways to enjoy your birthday...but thats my opinion...and birthdays can be tricky things, we have to get through them best we can sometimes lol)

 

[adarkana]

Thanks everyone for the commentary. In the end, despite his pleas & my pain at having to deny myself a treat, I canceled. Tonight, in place of a four-course meal & bottle of red wine, there will be pizza.