Can anything Reasonably Serious Come out of it? 49.4.6>37

[marybluesky]

Well, it is about the situation I talked about in this thread.

Seeking for Advice: Not Repeating Past Mistakes 45.1.4>3​

I am trying to control my emotions but all of a sudden they raid on me like a big sea wave, leaving me soaked and confused.
Anyway, most of the time I just try to avoid the guy (and I have received many, many casts with hexagrams 33, 52 and 26 on what I should do, particularly in short term. On the longer run/ more general perspective I've received lots of 57 and 53). When I'm feeling lighter we have short conversations which are always delightful and I can sense that he has feelings for me. He flirts lightheartedly but I hesitate maybe he is like that with everyone?? To be honest I'm afraid he is one of those people who gather the members of opposite sex around them to boast their own ago, and I don't want to be a member of his "gang".

I'm not willing to suffer for romance anymore. I want to be free, happy, going my way and focusing on myself. No more love sickness or personally valuable offers the other party considers worthless. My experience say that people only care about the numbers of their followers and people they flirt and sleep with and personal possessions not to be enjoyed personally but to appear successful in the society. If I'm even willing to come back to the romance world I should be like them, I'd be knocked out hard again otherwise.

But when you grow romantic feelings for someone you can't stop them whenever you want. I have moments of wishful thinking and romantic yearning. What I want more than anything is freedom of mind and heart.

Today I wasn't positive about the whole thing and I asked: "Can this encounter lead to something reasonably serious?" 49.4.6>37

I had received 49.4 about a relationship before. In that case I decided it wasn't worth continuing anymore for good.
49.6 is a bit puzzling but let's see: noble one changes as a leopard/ setting out to bring order: pitfall/ constancy: good fortune. I should change- and it can be something like what I described about 49.4.

Then I'd return to 37- the familiar.

While I really appreciate comments from more experienced members which prove to be useful most of the time, I'd like others to tell me about their opinion. All of us have been a newcomer a day.

 

[steve]

Hi there,
49 unchanging to me is like here we go , get ready for a rollercoaster ride buckle up. However, some of the individual lines are not so harsh or jolting. Some are really nice,

To me line 4 is saying that you are ready for change in some way, however line 6 to me is saying dot your i's and cross your t's. Maybe you are correct in feeling the situation out slowly. 37 is encouraging or it could be whats going on deep down with you. The reading by no means to me looks inauspicious. As a note when I have recieved 49.4 in business readings, I am usually pretty happy with the answer.

Not sure if you like Rihanna some of what you said reminded me of that song.
here you go

 

[my_key]

Hi Mary

Today I wasn't positive about the whole thing and I asked: "Can this encounter lead to something reasonably serious?" 49.4.6>37

This divination might well be speaking to your low mood that surrounded your question, alternatively it could be addressing whether the encounter could lead to something reasonably serious.

It encourages you to 'Abolish the Old' (49)ways to thinking, feeling and behaving through bringing a new sense of stability into the time from which you can springboard forward, Sadness, grief and sorrow are on the back foot now and the bones of contention that you have been holding tightly on to are now ready to be dropped or discarded.

This can be supported through investing in the care and compassion that you bring to yourself and to the relationships close to you. Look for ways that make you feel safe and provide stability, while focusing on nurturing and nourishing the aspects of your world that you want to grow large.

49.4 indicates that you are truly in the process of uncovering a new way of ruling what is happening in your world through better informed choices and decisions.

49.6 speaks to a time of culmination of what has been. You have worn that old mask for long enough. Now it is time to live without the mask and allow your newly gained wisdom to prevent any further revolution. Be wary though, old habits die hard and you will need to remain vigilant to nip any future potential uprisings, of the old ways, in the bud.

... or you may find other interpretations that resonate more clearly with you.

Good Luck

 

[Cometta]

I ching reading aside, I think you must stop putting obstacles on your own way and go for the adventure.
Being in love is in itself a bliss. To have feelings is invigorating, and the outer world is just a reflection of the inner one, so why bother taking others plans into consideration, and why expect the worst from them? If they love you back it doubles the pleasure, if not you continue in your state of loving untill it clicks.
(We understand that while reading I ching and when we examine experiences in hindsight: everything is happening in us).
I won't go to say love is a selfish act to oneself but be good to yourself and don't worry for the feedback (although I am sure we create it by our attitude).
The only moment you possess is the present, and if you are loving it will bring the best in others, if it does not at least you had some great moments.
And, learning from errors is something that becomes integrated in you, no need to recall it, and you can't judge your present experience based on other experiences. It is different, people are differents, the circumstances have changed and you are not the same person.

Love the maximum you can!

 

[marybluesky]

Dear Cometta,

thanks for your heartful response. I'd share my opinion.

I respect your view but I don't consider our outer world to be a reflection of the inner one. The outer world exists on itself and people are after their own whims.

I live a physical world with a physical body and have the very right to: 1) protect myself from destructive effects of others' behavior and 2) demand a concrete relationship where I spend quality time and sleep with my partner in a regular basis, am respected and can rely on them emotionally the way I do on a friend at the very least. This is not a lot to demand. If someone doesn't give me that I don't owe them anything such as my mental energy. I do want feedback. I am investing precious parts of myself.

We are humans with limited resources.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

this is very off the wall but - do you like to write?
49.6 for me always comes with some sense of a guiding energy encouraging writing, or creativity, like writing ones own life or future.
a full transformation takes time, and a 'pound of flesh' - the author Gloria Anzaldua wrote about the cost and burden of writing, how it requires a sacrifice.

hmm as I write this it occurs that perhaps this association of 49.6 with writing comes from /my/ personal path being bound up with the occupation of writing. I struggle with committing to it though deep in my soul knowing it's the right path.

for yourself maybe it is something else, some part of you that demands and haunts your other more superficial temptations, inclinations and habits.

So for instance, your standards for a partner, require a full commitment....of yourself to the idea of letting love in, or of the guy to you?
or of you to your own self compassion?

At any rate, you're being called to transform in some way and that's more exciting than a guy ever could be, even if somehow he's involved in that leopard transformation!

 

[marybluesky]

Dear kestrelw1ng ,

thanks for your reply.
Although I write in my notebook from time to time (I think many people do) it's not that serious. I tried creative writing many years ago and soon realized it wasn't for me.

So for instance, your standards for a partner, require a full commitment....of yourself to the idea of letting love in, or of the guy to you?
or of you to your own self compassion?

Can you explain more? I'm a bit puzzled about this part.

 

[kestrelw1ngs]

Yes let me be more clear if I can with this idea that still flits in my words like a butterfly.

For me this line 49.6 comes up around the topic of "writing" reminding me writing is a soul calling despite all my other myriad ideas of what I can and want to do in this life. It will always slip back around to haunt me.

so at first I thought, maybe this line is about writing.
Then I thought no, that's what it is for /me/ because in my heart, lives a writer spirit. Always trying to take shape in the outside world. So that is personal.

More broadly, this line could be about taking a new form after a revolution. Inner revolution, of your Self. Dropping masks, as my_key said.

So: If you really seek to change as the noble one, into a new form of self, it won't be by "setting about to create order" i.e. trying to control or see in advance what you change into or what's going on.

rather by being constant to what is inside you, paying mind. The secret of shapeshifting is not copying or confirming to an outside idea but loyalty to the forms already in your soul.

Which you can only see if the waters aren't being muddied by inconstant feelings and mixed messages.

If you really are ready for new ways, be loyal to your new form! Whatever it is.
That was my question, is ...what in you feels constant, returning, or true? Your standards, desires, something you know deep down.

Yi could be saying, if this guy is 37 familiar in a way that doesn't sit right....maybe a way your family or community of origin or society sees as normal, but it contradicts the shape you are taking, take heed?
Or maybe he's part of the new form. You can only tell by paying attention, to how you feel around him and communication between you two. Is my two cents.

Best of luck

 

[marybluesky]

I have decided to do what seemed to be counterintuitive at first: making a move on him.

It will take some time. First I need to learn if he's not in a relationship.

While I know that there is mutual attraction, for many reasons I think it won't lead to anywhere, even if the guy initially agrees. But I need to act and free myself. I need a catharsis.

 

[steve]

I think 49.4 confirms that, also by moving forward is the only way you are going to know. Asking someone if they are in a relationship tends to be a clear message that you are interested and is getting to the point, I have found.

Hope it works out.

 

[Trojina]

I have decided to do what seemed to be counterintuitive at first: making a move on him.

It will take some time. First I need to learn if he's not in a relationship.

While I know that there is mutual attraction, for many reasons I think it won't lead to anywhere, even if the guy initially agrees. But I need to act and free myself. I need a catharsis.

A non Yi related thought/caution I wanted to share: it can be a good idea to get it off your chest/to get a catharsis/to find out where you stand yes but consider how it could feel if he acts like he doesn't have a clue what you mean and so on. How much that outcome might impact on you depends on the context that you know him in. You see if you know him through work and you will see him every day after you have shared you your feelings and for example he's said 'sorry Mary I like you but I never thought of you as more than that' while all along he's been giving you all kinds of signals he is interested, it could be pretty destabilising for you.

That's going to be easier to live with if for example he's not someone you have to see at work or someone who is central to your social groups BUT if after you've spoken about this you have to face him at work each day and so on it could not only impact you emotionally but also tangibly impact on your actual work, how you feel about going to work and so on because you might feel humiliated/demoralised etc. I'm just saying it's hard enough to cope with emotional disappointments but if then it also ruins going to work or other areas of life it could be quite destructive for you.

That's worse case scenario of course and may not apply all I'm saying is it may be a good idea to think ahead in terms of how it will be for you in that area of life if it goes wrong and you feel humiliated. Also if he is interested why can't he approach you?

I can't say I trust readings re romantic feelings very much, the 49 could be a revolution within you...I don't know. I don't think it's a bad idea to go ahead and be open with him as long as you have some self protective measures in mind. BTW I wouldn't say this other than I have genuine concern this might be emotionally risky for you and you don't want your work life ruined for example if that is one area that actually is a positive thing for you.

 

[marybluesky]

Shortly after this post I applied for Indian tourist visa, then took an international language test for academic reasons. I was busy with these matters for a while. A month later I came back from India (which left a magical effect on me that lasted for weeks) and I started preparing my academic application's documents.

Lately I was thinking again about approaching him without any hurry. Yesterday I learnt by chance that he has a GF.

The same story
"Nothing really matters, anyone can't see"

I knew from the start that I'll lose in the love(?) game again.

P.S: by the way I asked why every time I like someone they are taken or go for others. 26.6> 11. Because heaven likes it this way. I just wish that I don't have crushes anymore.

 

[my_key]

26 <> 11

Perhaps says , 'You have not yet found the right time or the right ways to go with the flow that manifests closer or lasting relationship.'

26.6 - This is moving on the Great Way. Energy has accumulated. You are walking on Heaven's highway. Your sacrifice is accepted and blessings will flow. There is no doubt about your success. (Karcher)

Follow your Heart. (my_key)
The times they are a changin' (Dylan)

... of course, there may be other interpretations that make more sense for you.

Good Luck

 

[Henry Zahir]

49 - change
49 - l4 the object of change
49 - l6 those who do not believe in change

37 - Order in the house, Hierachy

 

[marybluesky]

Your sacrifice is accepted and blessings will flow.

Thanks Mike. Does the hexagram 26 point to a sacrifice?

 

[my_key]

Thanks Mike. Does the hexagram 26 point to a sacrifice?

Karcher's words explicitly mention sacrifice. Others such as Huang and Wilhelm speak of 'not eating at home' where, to my way of looking at it, you are encouraged to step away / remove yourself completely from your normal habits and ways that you think provide you with nourishment. Changing where and what you eat brings good fortune while at the same time you need to recognise that adopting this action means it is becoming more favourable for you to cross great rivers.

If Yi is asking you to make room for an accumulation of something Great, then you have to let go of a whole load of small things to make room. Yi advocates, in the image of 26, that you learn from the words and deeds of your past. Perhaps, understanding what hasn't worked for you in the past and now jettisoning those unhelpful thoughts or behaviours, in your own way and in your own time, will help you get more easily to the land of plenty on the other side of the river.

Without all that old baggage it is going to be so much easier to go with the Flow (11) and get to the other side.

Take Care