Can't figure this out

[cirka09]

I just had a rough, ROUGH encounter. I comment on facebook posts she makes and send random text messages. Just to talk, not to expect something back. Apparently this is making her feel smothered. And she told me this. That she wants to be my friend but it all just seems a bit excessive. I get that. It wasn't intentional.... not only that but a few of her friends were mocking me.... I guess I get where she's coming from, but its really a misunderstanding. I wasn't trying to kiss her ass. I was just trying to be friendly...

 

[cirka09]

God I keep getting encouragement even when I feel hopeless...
I asked "now what do I do?"
10.4 > 61

OBVIOUSLY I'm not going to take any outward action; aside from laying low for a ehile. If she's feeling pressured, further contact would be the biggest mistake I could make. 10 is about conduct... line 4 is about stepping on the tail of the tiger. That caution and circumspection lead ultimately to success.... I know I can't do anything right now. That would be utter folly. So I goofed up. It was unintentional, but I tread on the tigers tail... Now I have to be extremely caution. Yes?

 

[cirka09]

Thought I'd give an update. I feel like things are in limbo, we joked around for a bit a few days ago and I know we're still friends... Things aren't where I'd like them to be, but maybe they will be at some point. I know what I want, I just don't know how to get there. I've been very cautious in my interaction, holding back even though I feel like advancing. It's frustrating... and at times I feel like giving up. I asked about this feeling and what advice the Yi could give me. The answer was 37.6 > 63

I'm not sure what to make of this. "His work commands respect". What work? My holding back, not pushing forward, commands respect? Or am I supposed to be doing something else? Like being the leader or something? The line doesn't seem to indicate that. WB has something about cultivating his personality; but how does that bring good fortune in the end?

 

[cirka09]

and again today, because I can't shake this feeling of hopelessness.... "should I give up"? answer 37.6 > 63

 

[hopex]

Blimey - this is going to be an epic!

Cant you just say to her

Look I am fond of you - seriously fond of
you but I dont want to crowd you when
you are just out of something

Be all strong and manly and cheeky
and say - Let me know if you'd like to see
me and take it from there

Put all your va va voom into it and saunter off
- like Jay zee or somat - then wait for your
phone to ring

 

[hopex]

i see this small thing as being strong and confident
enough to show your interest. 37 that its a genuine
offer

However I know that men dither in love - but be
strong enough to back away. Sure your'e serious
but you are also strong emotionally. You can have
a laugh at yourself - but at the end of the day you
are a proud young lion

there are more fish in the sea

another thing - only ask her out
for friday or saturday - thats proper
courtship. Ask her before wednesday
so she has time to think what to wear
etc and get excited (call it a mystery date)
eg if it were london take her on the london
eye

dont do all this internet nosing around and
stalking, She is your girl and you take her out
honourably at the weekends

Thats how a man who can be a loving husband
and father behaves

dont chase her in the week - keep her on her toes

 

[cirka09]

Lol epic is right. Thank you for the feedback. I will give this some thought.

 

[hopex]

good luck - dont give in to hopelessness
its going to work out whatever you do
based on the initial reading

she is giving you a thorough checking out
and test run - so DO NOT be phased

B COOL and smile a lot like the Mona Lisa
smile - she'll wonder what you're up to and
try to find out (even if its nowt )

 

[cirka09]

Haha! The mona lisa smile.. I'm not giving up. The hopelessness is self induced and I need to overcome that. Everything will work out. I just need to have confidence. Things are slowly getting better. Communication is slowly picking up. I managed to get a play date with my (her's really) dog again this Friday and I'm very excited about that. Slowly but surely, step by step.

 

[white owl]

Thats great Cirka! Have u thought about getting a dog yourself? Maybe that will help bring you guys together more often. Meeting up for casual walks, etc., then maybe you might be in a good position to steal a kiss or two

 

[cirka09]

Actually, I have thought about that for quite a while. She fosters rescue dogs and has asked if I want to adopt one at some point. I really do and I intend to, but first I have to fix part of my back fence that got blown down during a strong storm recently. I'm also in the middle of remodeling my house. But I'm thinking I'll be able to adopt soon.

 

[white owl]

Animals are so therapuetic. You are fortunate to have a yard for the dog or dogs. I think that there is a special doggie out there just for you and I also think the lady who you have a crush on is doing a very noble thing.

 

[cirka09]

She certainly is! I've met some incredible pups through her that have gone to much better homes than where they came from.

 

[hopex]

I like it white owl - i like it a lot ha ha ha

smoochin an' poochin

 

[cirka09]

Lol i'd like it too! But I'm gonna have a lil bit of difficulty with that while she's seeing this rebound guy... maybe lol

 

[white owl]

Thats okay Cirka, cause u are gonna be the doggie guy.lol

 

[hopex]

49 what does it mean?

My renters not gone theres an open statement on the
kitchen top with 4k in it by the non paying girl - whom
i am heartily hating as she has the guys doing the fight
for her

I asked what will happen if I scream her out?

49

I just want my place back (was hoping I would by now)
and

 

[hopex]

oh got that wrong - yes Cirka keep the faith - we will keep you
laughing and mona lisa smiling - and she'll wonder what youre up to

 

[white owl]

We sure will!

 

[cirka09]

Thank you both, I appreciate that! The puppy and I have been playing fetch for about 3 hours now lol. She's addicted. I'm considering telling the girl we should make this a regular thing, but that she has to come play too sometime.

 

[hopex]

how funny - this is like a chick flick movie

 

[cirka09]

A chick flick movie ? lol hmm..... that could either be really good or really bad.

 

[cirka09]

Since I have fans I thought I'd continue the saga

I dropped off the dog and we talked for a bit. Nothing serious, just casual conversation. There were a couple of things I said that I feared might have been a mistake. I wasn't mushy or anything, just making conversation. At one point, I asked when we were gonna hang out. She said when she gets a spare moment to herself because she and her mom have been taking turns staying with her dying grandma.We continued talking a little while longer, then when we were leaving we exchanged a hug, and she actually held me! Not just one of those lame put your arm around the person kinds. While that was going on "miss you" popped out of my mouth. again, not mushy or needy, it just happened in a casual nonchalant sort of way. She said she'd let me take her dog again sometime and we left.

I decided to ask the Yi about this conversation because I started wondering if I had jumped the gun and made a mistake saying those things. I asked
What effect did our conversation have on our relationship? 19.3 > 11

This made me more curious because of the idea of a mistaken attitude and allowing carelessness to show itself. Was what I did a part of this carelessness? Or was it telling me to not let my guard down? Or maybe my thought that it was a mistake was my mistaken attitude. So I asked a follow up for clarification.

"Was saying miss you and asking when we were going to hang out the right thing to do?" 8.1.2 > 60

So what do you guys think? Did I goof?

 

[hopex]

Nah I dont think so Cirka

60 implies she is trying to keep some
boundaries for now though

good stuff I'd say love is in the air

 

[cirka09]

Yeah I got that "boundaries" feeling when I was talking with her, which honestly is probably the right thing for now. Atleast till everything settles down. I did feel something else though, a kind of tension, like something was being held back. Maybe it was just me. Only time will tell.

 

[hopex]

whats the latest Cirka?

I hope you have got a date
you cant marry the puppy !!

come on man - we have a bet on it!

 

[cirka09]

right now things are on hold for me. She's having second thoughts about this other guy. That's good for me, but until she makes up her mind I'm not really sure what I can do.