Capricorn days of horns and charges 38.2.4 > 27

[chingching]

I have been feeling a little unable to mitigate conflict, seem to be attracting a lot of it, with Saturn transiting my 12th and squaring my mars in libra, I've sometimes regressed to passive aggressiveness, oh dear, but ultimately feeling a bit put out and foggy about it all. I seem to arouse fears in others unwittingly and am finding myself hurt by those who just think about money and from my perspective suck the fun out of life. Also a lot of conflict stemming from being charged fees, everyone charging me extra fees, oh Capricorn!!! Everyone butting their goat horns against me, me butting right back too. ok enough of my woeful words..., on to the reading, who knows, maybe it'll start a conflict

38.2.4 > 27

I'm right and everyone else is wrong -- especially that guy in the lane. Tired of endlessly waiting for an inspiring man, need to stop talking, where is my food?

Seriously, I really love Hilary's questions from her reading page:
38:
What if the difference were not a threat?
How could this tension be creative?
If you can't see eye to eye, what can you see?

27:
What would nourish you?
How is your hunger motivating you?
If you accept this as nourishment, who will you become?

I think those questions for hex 27 really outline the internal conflict for me, never before have I been so unclear as to what will nourish me. A month ago I decide I would embark on a career change and got accepted into university, today I started looking at applying for the police force and might chuck the uni enrolment. Last week I was about to travel a big distance to go live with a man I met on tinder in his half built tiny home in an eco village, cancelled last minute out of sheer fear, for so many reasons, and then took myself into the middle of a suburban nowhere where there isn't anything to do.

I can see that by not knowing what would nourish me, I'm getting into situations that don't deliver anything satisfying and the conflict arises, my own hidden frustration travelling in an echo from the mouth's of others.

line 2, i guess it's not a mistake to 'meet' these people whose opinions and world views greatly differ from mine, perhaps the counterpoint created is actually just a necessity for balance.

line 4, it will cause me to meet an inspiring man! yes? . Maybe I should just go out one night on my own to a restaurant that serves nourishing food? And get a different kind of 38 dynamic, those 'across the room eyes'

What does anyone out there think, I gotta say its a beautiful reading to appear after I've had so many arguments - where I really could have just shut my mouth. My body trying to do it for me, I've had mild lockjaw for the last four days (not tetanus though, phew).

 

[rosada]

What was your question?

 

[chingching]

The first paragraph describes it. I tend to quieten down and check in emotionally and enter the feeling state I'm currently in and then cast. I shifted from asking formal questions to that, kind of like how Hilary puts it:
"Only understand where you are now, and you rediscover your power to make changes."

So I get fully present, and sit with where I am and cast.

 

[my_key]

38.2.4 > 27

Hex 38: A situation of creative tension embroiled in a mish-mash of old ways and new possibilities. A place for agile discernment.

line 2 - you are faced with pathways that are not those you tread normally. Venture forth.
line 4 - stay detached, see beyond the unrest that you experience

Hex 27: Soak it all up and let it feed the new you that is emerging.

Good Luck

 

[chingching]

My_key, I'm toooooo old for creative tension... lol. But, yes, here it is and agile discernment sounds wise.

I really love the clarity and optimism of your reading of the reading.

I do fear that the new me is merely an old me, gone are the days of growing into myself and now come the days of limp skin, growing towards the earth.

There is a quality of hopeful and brave abandon in the perspective of 27 being a state of allowing all to be soaked in, and then prudent to have first discerned. I can be prudent, and I can be reckless but rarely have I been able to master blending the two to a state of discerning openness. A challenge for me!!! And creative tension describes the feeling of that state so well, like a good long rally in tennis, together and opposed.

 

[chingching]

an update already, because I just felt the change. Although it came to cumulation after having sat further with My_Key's words and gleaning inspiration for 38 and 27 from the yijing 'advice in a few words' thread.

I must have started resonating with the thought of the mish mash, as well as the idea of owning you're own difference with 38, and food because without much thought I made my way down to the local store-lined concrete and bitumen rill for some lunch. Halfway through my meal in that moment of quiet satisfaction from hunger sated, I noticed myself. Small blonde white women in her late 30's wearing lululemon pilates gear, ugg boots and a dressing gown, one leg cocked up on the chair, leaning back with 100% grass fed beef burger in a gluten free bun in one hand, bottle of juice in the other, looking out across the mall to the long monolithic hardware chainstore, listening to the wall of beats booming the room, chewing on just one side of my mouth -- like a suburban bass ass. TAKE THAT SOCIETY. I will only half way conform, to a few things, at the same time. And without any care for grammar or punctuation!!!!!!!



Good to be out of my anger thinly disguised as dreary mood.

:bows: