Clear message - 63

[plupp]

Hello again...
I asked: what does n feel for me? I got 63 without moving lines.
To me this means that he has no particular feelings at all for me, for him what was between us is completely over. This answer is quite a relief for me as I will see him again next week and we haven't seen each other for years. I can go to the meeting without any expectations what so ever, relaxed, not worrying about how I am looking, etc. Just thinking "the past is finally OVER", and when I leave this meeting I hope my mind will be as blank as an unwritten page.

 

[Frankelmick]

Plupp,

Sounds good to me

Best wishes,

Mick

p.s
If you want a laugh, have a listen to this Swedish band:

http://www.myspace.com/bloosblasters

 

[plupp]

Plupp,

Sounds good to me

Best wishes,

Mick

p.s
If you want a laugh, have a listen to this Swedish band:

http://www.myspace.com/bloosblasters

Thanks Mike
Bloosblasters I even don't understand their Swedish accent, but it's fun!
Thank you, I didnt' know them.

 

[rosada]

I hope you'll give us a follow up after the meeting to add to the archives.
I see 63 as certainly meaning a good place of balance and harmony and would assume in your situation that this is reassuring you the episode you experienced together is complete. However, I don't see this as meaning people are neutral or insensitive to each other so you might need to be careful how you speak to him - or avoid him! - so as to maintain this peaceful feeling.

 

[dobro p]

Hello again...
I asked: what does n feel for me? I got 63 without moving lines.
To me this means that he has no particular feelings at all for me, for him what was between us is completely over. This answer is quite a relief for me as I will see him again next week and we haven't seen each other for years. I can go to the meeting without any expectations what so ever, relaxed, not worrying about how I am looking, etc. Just thinking "the past is finally OVER", and when I leave this meeting I hope my mind will be as blank as an unwritten page.

It just means that everything is in its proper place right now. Which means his feelings for you are in their proper place. Whatever that is. Cuz the Yi didn't actually tell you how he feels, right? And you don't actually know, right? Maybe he loves you. Maybe he loves you like a friend. Maybe he feels warm toward you. Maybe no feelings at all much. But whatever he feels, that's the way it's supposed to be for him right now.

But if you're meeting him next week, then it's obvious that the past is NOT over, no matter how desperate you are to reduce the anxiety about the meeting. And if you want your mind to be as blank as an unwritten page, then why are getting together with him again? - that's just going to feed your mind with new impressions which will inevitably turn over and kick up feelings (maybe weak feelings, maybe turbulent feelings) which you will have to deal with until time calms things down again.

You're asking the Yi what he feels for you, but you'd do better to familiarize yourself with what you're feeling for him right now. If you know yourself and how you feel, you're in a position to handle the meeting well. If you don't know yourself and you have no idea about how you feel, you're going to that meeting blind.

Finally, you're asking the Yi for insider information about how he feels for you (even if you knew the answer to that question, would you be any better off? The assumption is that if he loves you, you'd give yourself to him. If he doesn't love you, you wouldn't. That assumption just gives your power away.) You'd be better off asking the Yi how to handle the meeting. 'What do I need to know about meeting him next week?"

Good luck with it. And yeah, report back.

 

[ben_s]

Plupp,

I agree with the people who say you are taking a more negative view than you need to take.

63 says that as of right now, things are balanced and harmonious. This is a temporarily stable and positive situation.

In order for things to stay stable and positive, there has to be some maintenance work.

If the situation is taken for granted, and people are careless, then things will fall apart.

What concerns me is that your going with a blank mind might just the kind of taking the situation for granted that will make it fall apart.

Are you clear on what you would really like to have happen after all these years? Do you hope to feel loved? Do you hope to express a loving heart? Do you have blank curiosity? Do you want to make new boundaries in your life? To me, 63 says that you are better to have a plan than to just assume the good answer will pop into place without any help from you.

 

[plupp]

Rosada, Dobro, Ben, thanks for your precious input on this, it's really something important for me so I am more than grateful for your help. I will think about what you wrote and I am coming back very shortly with feedback. Just wanted to say thank you immediately after reading your posts. I am touched.

 

[plupp]

I hope you'll give us a follow up after the meeting to add to the archives.
I see 63 as certainly meaning a good place of balance and harmony and would assume in your situation that this is reassuring you the episode you experienced together is complete. However, I don't see this as meaning people are neutral or insensitive to each other so you might need to be careful how you speak to him - or avoid him! - so as to maintain this peaceful feeling.

Thanks Rosada. It"s a useful "warning" because I was already on my way to fall into our usual power struggle in my respons to his email on where we should have lunch thinking that "what the heck, nothing matters". How difficult isn't it for me to maintain a peaceful feeling with this guy and at the same time when I spend some time with him I have a strong sense of belonging. It's a real challenge! I promise to give a follow up...

 

[plupp]

It just means that everything is in its proper place right now. Which means his feelings for you are in their proper place. Whatever that is. Cuz the Yi didn't actually tell you how he feels, right? And you don't actually know, right? Maybe he loves you. Maybe he loves you like a friend. Maybe he feels warm toward you. Maybe no feelings at all much. But whatever he feels, that's the way it's supposed to be for him right now.

But if you're meeting him next week, then it's obvious that the past is NOT over, no matter how desperate you are to reduce the anxiety about the meeting. And if you want your mind to be as blank as an unwritten page, then why are getting together with him again? - that's just going to feed your mind with new impressions which will inevitably turn over and kick up feelings (maybe weak feelings, maybe turbulent feelings) which you will have to deal with until time calms things down again.

You're asking the Yi what he feels for you, but you'd do better to familiarize yourself with what you're feeling for him right now. If you know yourself and how you feel, you're in a position to handle the meeting well. If you don't know yourself and you have no idea about how you feel, you're going to that meeting blind.

Finally, you're asking the Yi for insider information about how he feels for you (even if you knew the answer to that question, would you be any better off? The assumption is that if he loves you, you'd give yourself to him. If he doesn't love you, you wouldn't. That assumption just gives your power away.) You'd be better off asking the Yi how to handle the meeting. 'What do I need to know about meeting him next week?"

Good luck with it. And yeah, report back.

Thanks a lot Dobro. I guess the Yi didn't answer me how he feels for me. I was taking the most negative interpretation I could in order to avoid disappointment, I mean after all "bad luck" I have had in my relationships so far, I can not imagine a good outcome for me whatever a good outcome is. I accepted his lunch invitation because I just felt that this is what I have to do. I have been preparing myself for this during all these years, let's hope that I can maintain the peace of mind when having him in front of me.I asked the question as suggested by you: 'What do I need to know about meeting him next week?"
and got 19 with moving line 5. To me it seems that the Yi is telling me that it's a "good" approach but I am afraid to put too much hope in that answer because yes, I would like to have a relationship with him again, a second chance to do things better than what I was able to do the first time. But as I said before, I can't imagine this to become true because I have never had my dreams come true when it comes to relationships and I am getting used to it, I have kind of accepted that it is like this for me. And who knows, I will maybe feel nothing for him, after all it's 9 years since we had a relationship and 4 years since I saw him (we have always had mail contact as we work for the same organisation).
I will report back. Thanks again for the help, I really appreciate it (and need it).

 

[plupp]

Plupp,

I agree with the people who say you are taking a more negative view than you need to take.

63 says that as of right now, things are balanced and harmonious. This is a temporarily stable and positive situation.

In order for things to stay stable and positive, there has to be some maintenance work.

If the situation is taken for granted, and people are careless, then things will fall apart.

What concerns me is that your going with a blank mind might just the kind of taking the situation for granted that will make it fall apart.

Are you clear on what you would really like to have happen after all these years? Do you hope to feel loved? Do you hope to express a loving heart? Do you have blank curiosity? Do you want to make new boundaries in your life? To me, 63 says that you are better to have a plan than to just assume the good answer will pop into place without any help from you.

Many thanks Ben. No I am not really clear, but I think I would like to get a second chance with him but as I just wrote to Dobro, it's probably not realistic and if it doesn't happen it's probably for my own good. I have come to understand that most things that doesn't come to me is for my own good however painful it is as long as I keep on wanting them. I would like to express a loving heart and I would like to make new boundaries in my life. I will try to go to the meeting well prepared by finding out as much I can about what I want (something my psychologist always asks me). I do hope that I can maintain a peaceful mind when I see him. Thanks again for your valuable input, it is really important for me to maintain peace between us and in my mind whatever happens. I've been working so hard on myself to be at peace and accept, I would like to keep on living my life the best I can with or without a partner.

 

[ben_s]

I would like to express a loving heart and I would like to make new boundaries in my life... well prepared by finding out as much I can about what I want ... I do hope that I can maintain a peaceful mind

That sounds to me like someone on the path to wisdom. :bows:

 

[plupp]

That sounds to me like someone on the path to wisdom. :bows:

Yes, I must say it feels like I am on the way to be some kind of buddha, however I never asprired to reach spiritual enlightment. Isn't funny, the only thing I always really wanted is a good relationship but so far no relationship. I have never wanted money but I had always had enough and more than that, I never wanted an important work position but I have one and I have never had problems in my proffessional life, it's just kind of flowing like it should. Life is a complete mystery
:bows: