Clarity,
Office 17622,
PO Box 6945,
London.
W1A 6US
United Kingdom
Phone/ Voicemail:
+44 (0)20 3287 3053 (UK)
+1 (561) 459-4758 (US).
- Joined
- Dec 10, 2011
- Messages
- 419
- Reaction score
- 114
Q: What's the best next step for me regarding regaining my personal power in full?
Basis of question: Struggling with anxiety and depression and fear of the future (real symptoms manifesting in sometimes uncontrollable ways) in my job and in love, mostly in love. Having difficulty in my closest, most personal (love) relationship. Struggling for ego dominance over trusting in all things unfolding as they should. Impatience in allowing the love relationship to unfold in its own time. Wrestling with surrender, when I know it's most needed. (Obvious answers to my question even in the basis of question. But, alas, here I am, asserting ownership of my inability to let go. My struggle is not new. It's age old.)
Here's the beauty of the Yi. Please bear with the fragmented ideas and thoughts as I try to come full circle:
A: 6.1.3.4.6 > 5, Arguing to Waiting.
Hexagram 6: Keywords (based on my intuitive understanding and in relation to my deeper inner question): Inner conflict, impatience, arguing for different/change v. accepting now, force (v. correct power), ego competition for reasons to abandon, abandonment, a house (mind and heart) divided, inability to cross the great river due to inability to be united in purpose, face off of ego desires v. true self, fear of poverty/lack/not getting what one wants/needs, lack of commitment due to xyz, conflict based on ego's need to dominate or control because of fear of uncertainty, etc.
Hexagram 5: Inner accord with the times, patience, waiting for the rain to nourish and fulfill because the Cosmos provides for all, confidence, trust, faith, crossing the great river united in purpose, power (v. incorrect force), commitment.
When I got this answer, the first thing that stood out is that the two hexagrams (6 and 5) are inverses to the other. This is before I knew what they were. This is reminiscent of the "Hanged Man" tarot card I received the other day, which is about the law of reversal.
"Instead of assertive movement and forceful resistance, salvation is attained through passive surrender. Let go, surrender, give it up. When feeling hung up, encircled, netted and walled in, wait it out. Assume a holding pattern. You are in suspense, a limbo that demands you tread water. Accepting your limitations brings expansion." (From James Wanless, Ph.D. Voyager Tarot, The Hanged Man, XII.)
Stand out ideas in the lines: 6.1: "Ending, good fortune." 6.3: "Ending, good fortune." Recurring theme.
End the inner conflict and the struggle with what IS now. We cannot fight the moment, because we will lose. Think Byron Katie and her idea that fighting "what is" is a losing battle.
6.4: "Returning and taking up the mandate. With a change of heart, peaceful constancy is good fortune." That which I try to run from, moves towards. Again with the law of reversal. Due the opposite of your instinct for flight during the Hex. 6 stress response.
6.6: "Even if you win, you lose, because you're competing, and competing is the ego's work, driven by fear of lack, scarcity, poverty.
When you pray for rain, according to the Hopi Indians, you PRAY RAIN, not for it. You imagine it already exists. Like the Law of Attraction in tarot, according to Doreen Virtue: "...anything we chase will run away from us [like 38.1]. Nothing enjoys the energy of pursuit. That's because there's an underlying fear behind the chase that says: 'Maybe I won't receive what I want.' It's actually that fear that manifests as a self-fulfilling prophecy."
Notes on the above lines taken together: End inner conflict, egoic need for control, to have things when you want them. Abandon force, while taking up the mandate and returning to my path to seeing it through to 'cross the great river'. Stop demanding assurances or to have it now. Whatever gains you feel you make through ego dominance (think contrivance) aren't real. I'll be humiliated though losing what I acquired through force or expectation or "should haves." (This is my first impression of the reading. Notice I switch between impersonal "you" and "I," trying to gain a sense of distance and probably a reflection of the "inner conflict.")
Following, I immediately remembered a passage in Clarissa Pinkola Estes' book "Women Who Run With the Wolves." From her story describing "Skeleton Woman" in the chapter, "Hunting: When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter":
"Fear is a poor excuse for not doing the work. We are all afraid. It is nothing new. If you are alive, you are fearful. Among the Inuit, Raven is the trickster. In his undeveloped side, he is a creature of appetite. He likes pleasure only, attempts to avoid all uncertainty and the fears that uncertainty brings. He is a good deal cautious and a good deal greedy, both. He is fearful if something does not immediately look fulfilling. He pounces when it does.
"He likes bright abalone shell, silver beads, endless vittles, gossip, and warm sleeps over the smoke hole. The lover-to-be may be like Raven who wants "a sure thing." Like Raven, the ego is afraid passion will end, and tries to avoid the end of a meal, the end of the fire, the end of day, and an end to pleasure. Raven, like ego, becomes wily, and always to his detriment, for when he forgets his soul, he loses his power.
"Three things differentiate living from the soul versus living from ego only. They are: the ability to sense and learn new ways, the tenacity to ride a rough road, and the patience to learn deep love over time. The ego, however, has a penchant and a proclivity to avoid learning. Patience is not the ego's strong suit. Enduring in relationship is not Raven's forte. So it is not from the ever-changing ego that we love another, but rather from the wild soul." (157-158)
Estes gives us a perfect description of ego v. "wild soul" (or true self) and engenders the struggle of Hex. 6 "Conflict" and the lasting, patience of Hex. 5 "Waiting." Each are paths we can walk or choices we can make.
So, where does personal power reside? I think it's a good question we all need to answer. This is just the beginning for me. It's a powerful answer and something I'm going to continue to sift.
Basis of question: Struggling with anxiety and depression and fear of the future (real symptoms manifesting in sometimes uncontrollable ways) in my job and in love, mostly in love. Having difficulty in my closest, most personal (love) relationship. Struggling for ego dominance over trusting in all things unfolding as they should. Impatience in allowing the love relationship to unfold in its own time. Wrestling with surrender, when I know it's most needed. (Obvious answers to my question even in the basis of question. But, alas, here I am, asserting ownership of my inability to let go. My struggle is not new. It's age old.)
Here's the beauty of the Yi. Please bear with the fragmented ideas and thoughts as I try to come full circle:
A: 6.1.3.4.6 > 5, Arguing to Waiting.
Hexagram 6: Keywords (based on my intuitive understanding and in relation to my deeper inner question): Inner conflict, impatience, arguing for different/change v. accepting now, force (v. correct power), ego competition for reasons to abandon, abandonment, a house (mind and heart) divided, inability to cross the great river due to inability to be united in purpose, face off of ego desires v. true self, fear of poverty/lack/not getting what one wants/needs, lack of commitment due to xyz, conflict based on ego's need to dominate or control because of fear of uncertainty, etc.
Hexagram 5: Inner accord with the times, patience, waiting for the rain to nourish and fulfill because the Cosmos provides for all, confidence, trust, faith, crossing the great river united in purpose, power (v. incorrect force), commitment.
When I got this answer, the first thing that stood out is that the two hexagrams (6 and 5) are inverses to the other. This is before I knew what they were. This is reminiscent of the "Hanged Man" tarot card I received the other day, which is about the law of reversal.
"Instead of assertive movement and forceful resistance, salvation is attained through passive surrender. Let go, surrender, give it up. When feeling hung up, encircled, netted and walled in, wait it out. Assume a holding pattern. You are in suspense, a limbo that demands you tread water. Accepting your limitations brings expansion." (From James Wanless, Ph.D. Voyager Tarot, The Hanged Man, XII.)
Stand out ideas in the lines: 6.1: "Ending, good fortune." 6.3: "Ending, good fortune." Recurring theme.
End the inner conflict and the struggle with what IS now. We cannot fight the moment, because we will lose. Think Byron Katie and her idea that fighting "what is" is a losing battle.
6.4: "Returning and taking up the mandate. With a change of heart, peaceful constancy is good fortune." That which I try to run from, moves towards. Again with the law of reversal. Due the opposite of your instinct for flight during the Hex. 6 stress response.
6.6: "Even if you win, you lose, because you're competing, and competing is the ego's work, driven by fear of lack, scarcity, poverty.
When you pray for rain, according to the Hopi Indians, you PRAY RAIN, not for it. You imagine it already exists. Like the Law of Attraction in tarot, according to Doreen Virtue: "...anything we chase will run away from us [like 38.1]. Nothing enjoys the energy of pursuit. That's because there's an underlying fear behind the chase that says: 'Maybe I won't receive what I want.' It's actually that fear that manifests as a self-fulfilling prophecy."
Notes on the above lines taken together: End inner conflict, egoic need for control, to have things when you want them. Abandon force, while taking up the mandate and returning to my path to seeing it through to 'cross the great river'. Stop demanding assurances or to have it now. Whatever gains you feel you make through ego dominance (think contrivance) aren't real. I'll be humiliated though losing what I acquired through force or expectation or "should haves." (This is my first impression of the reading. Notice I switch between impersonal "you" and "I," trying to gain a sense of distance and probably a reflection of the "inner conflict.")
Following, I immediately remembered a passage in Clarissa Pinkola Estes' book "Women Who Run With the Wolves." From her story describing "Skeleton Woman" in the chapter, "Hunting: When the Heart is a Lonely Hunter":
"Fear is a poor excuse for not doing the work. We are all afraid. It is nothing new. If you are alive, you are fearful. Among the Inuit, Raven is the trickster. In his undeveloped side, he is a creature of appetite. He likes pleasure only, attempts to avoid all uncertainty and the fears that uncertainty brings. He is a good deal cautious and a good deal greedy, both. He is fearful if something does not immediately look fulfilling. He pounces when it does.
"He likes bright abalone shell, silver beads, endless vittles, gossip, and warm sleeps over the smoke hole. The lover-to-be may be like Raven who wants "a sure thing." Like Raven, the ego is afraid passion will end, and tries to avoid the end of a meal, the end of the fire, the end of day, and an end to pleasure. Raven, like ego, becomes wily, and always to his detriment, for when he forgets his soul, he loses his power.
"Three things differentiate living from the soul versus living from ego only. They are: the ability to sense and learn new ways, the tenacity to ride a rough road, and the patience to learn deep love over time. The ego, however, has a penchant and a proclivity to avoid learning. Patience is not the ego's strong suit. Enduring in relationship is not Raven's forte. So it is not from the ever-changing ego that we love another, but rather from the wild soul." (157-158)
Estes gives us a perfect description of ego v. "wild soul" (or true self) and engenders the struggle of Hex. 6 "Conflict" and the lasting, patience of Hex. 5 "Waiting." Each are paths we can walk or choices we can make.
So, where does personal power reside? I think it's a good question we all need to answer. This is just the beginning for me. It's a powerful answer and something I'm going to continue to sift.