Confused about contradiction in reading

[foxx777]

I have had some reservations about a person who is part friend, part colleague, with some slight romantic overtones (not acted on). I have to work on a project with this person, but have wondered if I should do this while keeping other contact to a bare minimum. I asked the I Ching, "Should I withdraw from X as much as possible?" and received this hexagram, 8.1.6 > 42. It seems self-contradicting. Line 1, and changing H42, seem positive (sort of how I was feeling about X a few months ago) but line 6 seems more like how I feel now, as if it has gotten messy and lost its potential. I am confused about what the I Ching is advising, if anything. Any thoughts would be appreciated.

8. Associate

Line 1:

Having a trusting association with someone.
Without fault.
Have confidence,
a full well-bucket will eventually arrive.
There will be other good fortune.

Associating with someone who one can trust to be willing to really help. It is not a mistake. This person will not leave until things are finished. One can expect other good things from this relationship as well.
(Here a well is being dug, and the comrade is helping until it is possible to use it for getting water.)

Line 6:

Associating with someone without head.
Misfortune.

Associating with someone out of confusion. This doesn't go well.

Hexagram is changing to:

42. Benefiting

Benefiting.
It is beneficial to have a goal to move to.
It is beneficial to cross the big river.

Benefiting from the situation. It's a good idea to have a plan for undertaking something, to make good use of the opportunity.

ugh, to make matters worse, I asked the I Ching about the contradiction, and got the dreaded 32.4 ("no game in the field"). ugh, am distancing myself in any case.

 

[precision grace]

hm I think the message is to not completely withdraw as you will lose something valuable you'd have had in the association; maybe as a work colleague this person is useful to you but maybe you need to have a goal and a plan (what exactly you want from the relation and what you don't want) otherwise the confused association will lead to misfortune.
Know thy own mind, as they say (easier said than done)

G'luck

 

[foxx777]

Thanks for your input, and I think you put that quite aptly!

 

[ginnie]

Could be that the top line moving is saying you shouldn't spend a lot of time over-analyzing your feelings when there's work to be done. Also, "Whoever comes too late meets with misfortune."

 

[foxx777]

Could be that the top line moving is saying you shouldn't spend a lot of time over-analyzing your feelings when there's work to be done. Also, "Whoever comes too late meets with misfortune."

Ginnie: That is an excellent point, and one I had not thought on, but it does make sense, as I tend to over analyze in any case. Thanks.

 

[dragona]

But you are making an assumption in the question itself....shouldn`t you have asked
how should I approach this pending cooperation with X?

 

[foxx777]

But you are making an assumption in the question itself....shouldn`t you have asked
how should I approach this pending cooperation with X?

I think you make a good point here, about the framing of the question. I think I will try phrasing it as you do, when I am in the proper frame of mind. Thanks!

 

[foxx777]

How should I approach this pending cooperation with X?

Received 60.2 > 3

60. Limitation

Line 2:

Not going beyond the gate of the yard.
Misfortune.

Limiting oneself too much, and by that missing opportunities.

Okie, will see if I can go beyond the gate of the yard! I must say, though, he is not exactly making it easy these days....Come to think of it, this line may be applying to X himself. Because as he seems both distant and presumptuous lately - almost arrogantly opportunistic - I find myself doing far less to advance this project, which is advantageous to him , and doing the minimum only. Perhaps he is the one who should go beyond the gate???

 

[ginnie]

You seem to be focused too much on what's wrong or deficient in his personality. What's wrong with other people is something we have almost no control over. As I read it, the advice of 60.2 was to be applied to yourself.

 

[foxx777]

You seem to be focused too much on what's wrong or deficient in his personality. What's wrong with other people is something we have almost no control over. As I read it, the advice of 60.2 was to be applied to yourself.

OK, then I shall try my very best, to be more forthcoming and involved.

 

[dragona]

May I just add that for me Limitation hex came to be about more different things, limited ways of communication, lost phone numbers, limitations due to misunderstanding or personal bounderies...
Since you asked about how you should approach, it is telling you to post some limitations but in a timely manner...from the difficulties at the beginning...could be that Yi is simply reminding you that there is a place and time for everything....if you are involved in work project together, perhaps flirting and too much romancing is not suitable in those moments? Kinda sensible, no?

 

[foxx777]

May I just add that for me Limitation hex came to be about more different things, limited ways of communication, lost phone numbers, limitations due to misunderstanding or personal bounderies...
Since you asked about how you should approach, it is telling you to post some limitations but in a timely manner...from the difficulties at the beginning...could be that Yi is simply reminding you that there is a place and time for everything....if you are involved in work project together, perhaps flirting and too much romancing is not suitable in those moments? Kinda sensible, no?

Yes, it does make sense. I think the whole situation evolved in a most unusual manner, and perhaps was not the brightest idea, but now that it is set in motion, YES, there should be a sober approach, and reasonable limitations. Agreed.

 

[hopex]

fox - I see no contradiction here - its an exact confirmation of
what your instinct told you - work on the project - then hold back
beyond work. Then the relationship increases.

Many people have this problem with work romance - by all means do your
work and get stuck in - but at breaks stand by water cooler demure - get
straight off when your days work is done.

In other words collaborate well - but switch in strictly your time to being
a mysterious romantic prospect to be pursued. Being with him all day is
enough - let him fight for your time after work - regards H x (Bruce is
visiting today to see how he gets on I have got to cook sausages for him
so he thinks its good )

 

[hopex]

Yes - just looking at line 6 which is a warning to not go into
this without a plan. Woman can blow a good thing at work by
being unsure of what they want. To be safe assume that this
could be a long term romantic relationship for you. If you are
ambivalent or have a lets see what happens attitude can be a
problem later on. You may be friends then fall in love. Men become
intrigued instantly and need to be nurtured along.
Best to behave as if there is a romantic possibility here. Dress well
be happy and work well. But break off when the specific collaborative
work is done. DO NOT make excuses to talk work with him that are
bogus - he will work out you like him and the game is up.

In short be professional and then elusive - observe whether he makes
a romantic move - namely makes excuses to come to you.

example - a guy came to work in our labs in one job - it was my job to
help him settle in - i did and was super smiley friendly - he found any
excuse to come out of the labs to talk to me in the office - he moved
near me and turned up after work at my flat (he was described as my
'beautiful boyfriend' - so thats how you do it - let him chase if its to be
romantic

 

[foxx777]

fox - I see no contradiction here - its an exact confirmation of
what your instinct told you - work on the project - then hold back
beyond work. Then the relationship increases.

Many people have this problem with work romance - by all means do your
work and get stuck in - but at breaks stand by water cooler demure - get
straight off when your days work is done.

In other words collaborate well - but switch in strictly your time to being
a mysterious romantic prospect to be pursued. Being with him all day is
enough - let him fight for your time after work - regards H x (Bruce is
visiting today to see how he gets on I have got to cook sausages for him
so he thinks its good )

Thanks, hopex for these apt and shrewd words. I have the message and meaning down pat. - OMG---does this mean you ARE getting Bruce????

 

[hopex]

Thanks to your reply Foxx I had hope and went to see about him
- they love him as much as i do and an MRI scan could be 2000 GBP
- they like me believe the dogs home is getting to him and his behavioural
change is due to that. I think they are anxious to give him the option to
be homed - otherwise they would put him down rather than see him languish
unhappily - fingers crossed. X i will read all the replies hope you can see your
way on his one hugs

 

[foxx777]

Thanks to your reply Foxx I had hope and went to see about him
- they love him as much as i do and an MRI scan could be 2000 GBP
- they like me believe the dogs home is getting to him and his behavioural
change is due to that. I think they are anxious to give him the option to
be homed - otherwise they would put him down rather than see him languish
unhappily - fingers crossed. X i will read all the replies hope you can see your
way on his one hugs

Oh, *fingers crossed*---I really want to see this work out for you and Bruce. Please keep us posted on your Bruce thread. xx:bows:

 

[hopex]

also 60.2 is just stay within the proscribed lines - adhere to
the set guidelines in work in life.

Sorry you do not want to work because it is advancing him - but
do a good job and you will be noticed in your own right. Blessings

 

[foxx777]

also 60.2 is just stay within the proscribed lines - adhere to
the set guidelines in work in life.

Sorry you do not want to work because it is advancing him - but
do a good job and you will be noticed in your own right. Blessings

I have taken all your great replies and your own story very much to heart. Thanks so much!!!