Deepening relationship 18.6>46. Advice please.

[pauseon]

Hi All. First post here, so be patient please.
I asked the question of the I Ching, on how to deepen my relationship with my girlfriend. It seems as if we have reached a plateau. line 6 struck a chord: our spiritual beliefs are not in sync, but more of a one sided tug of war. how does hexagram 46 fit in? Does it imply that it will take small steps to deepen the relationship, spiritually? Your insights please?

 

[Trojina]

I take this as saying serve yourself before you serve this relationship. Attend to your own spiritual development not the spiritual development of the relationship. Alternatively if it is from her perspective it may be she wishes to keep herself seperate to hold her own counsel, - this line does not encourage meshing goals with others but self development, at noones beck and call - not serving kings or princes nor anything but ones higher self. I see the relationship as like the king or prince it is not ones business to serve at this time. IOW maybe don't seek to deepen the relationship right now, accept your seperateness (if that is a word lol)

Because there is only 1 line moving I wouldn't place much emphasis on the relating hex 46

 

[pauseon]

Trojan,
Thank you for the insight; what you are saying is what I have come to understand about the relationship, after two years.
Frustration at wanting to get involved spiritually with someone - to raise the 'physical up'. I feel as if I am hitting my head against a wall,but overall the relationship is great.
Hexagram 18.6 is just pointing out that I should go it alone spiritually, to sum it up in one sentence.

 

[willowfox]

Hex 18.6 concentrate on your own self development and spiritual values before you try to develop them in another, then when you are a master you can then teach others.

Hex 46 is very fortunate for making further progress with your girlfriend, the plateau has not been reached, you both have a long way to go and grow.

 

[laylab]

Frustration at wanting to get involved spiritually with someone - to raise the 'physical up'.

I agree with Trojan and can only add that part of being spiritual is accepting that we can't force anything. Your gf is exactly as she should be at this moment in her life, whether you are able to see that or accept it is another issue and reflects on your spirituality, not hers.

There is one thing you could do though, that she (if she is a warm blooded woman) would most likely respond to:

Tantric sex

it's a great way to raise the spiritual connection and vibration between two people and it will keep you warm in the winter

 

[mudpie]

another way I tend to look at hex18 line 6 is that it is possible to not have to get too involved in the process at all (in this case of strengthening the relationship) ....there is something about 18.6 that implies you can "leapfrog"over the obstacles if you trust your own understanding and status....which I think goes along with what Layla said....with a deeper understanding, you are able to see, and accept, where your GF is, and perhaps find that nothing needs to really change at all.

 

[pauseon]

another way I tend to look at hex18 line 6 is that it is possible to not have to get too involved in the process at all (in this case of strengthening the relationship) ....there is something about 18.6 that implies you can "leapfrog"over the obstacles if you trust your own understanding and status....which I think goes along with what Layla said....with a deeper understanding, you are able to see, and accept, where your GF is, and perhaps find that nothing needs to really change at all.

Do the changing hexagram 46 not mean that "growth" must still occur? My reason for that insight is that there is a 12 year age difference between myself and GF, so there is a patience that must be applied 'a tree in seed'.

 

[dobro p]

Do the changing hexagram 46 not mean that "growth" must still occur? My reason for that insight is that there is a 12 year age difference between myself and GF, so there is a patience that must be applied 'a tree in seed'.

No, the idea of moving to higher ground is contained in 18.6, which talks about concerning yourself with higher matters and leaving the mundane stuff behind. Which, in the context of your question about your girlfriend, might have one of two interpretations:

1 Don't concern yourself with this relationship; you've got other more important things to spend your life, time, and energy on.

2 Don't concern yourself with mundane matters in this relationship; concentrate on the spiritual dimensions it offers.

Which one is it, do you think?