Developing The Physical Aspect Of A Relationship...

[peace66]

Hello Again...
My question is: How do we further develop the physical aspect of our relationship?
I received: 28, 9/5, 32
We've been together 16 years.
9/5 seems contradictory to hexagram 32...
Much Appreciation For Any Thoughts and Comments On This One!!
Peace

 

[laylab]

You mean "light his or her fire"? *big grin*
I am still learning so the best I can do is point out some other comments about the hexagrams that you got

about 28 line 5
http://www.onlineclarity.co.uk/friends/showpost.php?p=6167&postcount=3

someone else pointed out about 28.4 (which they said should be considered when viewing 28.5

"If the ridgepole curves upward,
Good fortune.
If there is something else,
Humiliation."

so, upward ridgepoles are good (just kidding)

I couldn't find anything about 28.9

32 is Duration...Ok, *trying very hard not to take a light-hearted, literal approach* but I am in a happy mood. Seriously though, sexuality is something that is best examined in a graceful but good humoured manner. Where are Bruce, Topal and Willowfox? They will most likely give you some excellent insights.

Bon Chance!

 

[willowfox]

"My question is: How do we further develop the physical aspect of our relationship?
I received: 28.5, 32"

Hex 28.5 suggests that the time has come when certain things in life just plain deteriorate, you can never get your youth back no matter how hard you try. So, as one gets older different priorities emerge, so basically don't exhaust yourself trying for the physical aspect anymore.

Hex 32 says the marriage will endure come what may, so don't fret about the physical concentrate on the mental, and the warmth and friendship that you share together.

 

[laylab]

On a practical level I don't agree. People in loving marriages have re-ignited passion over and over again by allowing the flow of emotional intimacy again, without constraints. If anything, after 16 years together, you have an amazing foundation on which to build a new intimacy and a new, evolved physical relationship.

Maybe instead of re-inventing you should re-discover. Invention may exhaust but discovery happens sometimes "seemingly" by "accident". Synchronicity

 

[rosada]

While the line is not encouraging for an older woman becoming pregnant, it actually gives good advice for revivng romance, which is that there is no blame, as laylab says, no constraints, and the woman here need not wait for the man to court her, but can take the lead.

As having live flowers in one's home is a feng shui technique for attracting love, I would take this advice literally and "put out flowers", especially in the South and Southwest areas.

Duration cautions that romance (fantasy) doesn't last forever in married life (reality), so look to activities that can hold your interest even when the mystery is over and the body starts to fail. An example might be taking up dancing. Then later, even when one no longer feels they have it to get up and boogie, listening to music together wil be an enduring pleasure.

 

[rosada]

As an after thought it occurs to me that the I Ching is commenting that an older woman doing all the things a younger woman would think to do, will get the same results a younger woman will get - except there will be no children. Thus the advice seems to be that inorder to revive romance one ought do the same things that create romance.

 

[peace66]

Thanks to all of you...

Thanks so much for all the great comments and suggestions. It really helps me alot to
know all of you are here for me and for each other at these critical times.
Peace

 

[willowfox]

The line further suggests that she is faced with a difficult problem and that she must get to the very heart of the matter to find a permanent solution. If she only finds a temporary solution then it will not last long. So, how can she get to the heart of the problem when she does not know what is causing it, and therefore has no idea on how to find a solution. The text says that if a solution is not found very quickly then the problem will go beyond the point of no return. Therefore, I concluded that she will not find a solid solution and the problem has gone beyond the point of no return. Hence my suggestion to give up worrying about it as there are more pressing priorities to take care of, and anyway the relationship has weathered many storms in the past 16 years, this problem is nothing more than a hiccup in the greater game of life. We should all learn to grow old gracefully and with dignity.

 

[cejudesc]

Hi

One would dare to ask: what is the REAL concern behind your question?

 

[Tohpol]

Thanks so much for all the great comments and suggestions. It really helps me alot to know all of you are here for me and for each other at these critical times.Peace

Hi peace,

I think if this is a "critical time" for you then it suggests that perhaps there is something behind the physical that is causing problems? Maybe not - more info needed.

Anyhow, 28 does seem to be saying ease up a bit and 32 to keep on course - persist with what you have - physical pleasure isn't the issue here perhaps. BUT...in a long term loving relationship (about which I am certainly no expert) I think the sexual expression between two people for whom love is the deciding factor (rather than dependance) is a vital part of that relationship. I think it vitalizes the connection.

It could be said that two bodies are merely expressing a love union at this level and is a natural consequence of "higher" integrated emotion between the two. It's a tricky thing though, as most relationships are based first on the opiate of sexual attraction. This is then put to the test when the chemicals wear off. It's then that we see if the more important emotional connection is present and which can be further refined. In this body-centric culture of ours sex as a spectator sport firmly lodged in the mind's eye is an ever-present problem to real intimacy.

Certainly, if there are problems in a relationship making love can turn into just sex pretty quickly with a whole lot of tension being released. This can slowly degrade the quality of the connection and send the sexual energy scattering until there's nothing much to work with in terms of finding solutions. Its all been used up! I guess this is why no amount of bed gymnastics is gonna cover up what is lacking.

Anyhow, if everything is ok between you and you're just looking for some new ways to express your intimacy together then I think the market is overflowing with all kinds of possibilities there! But I think the IC is saying attend to what is important and the rest will follow.

Well, that's my take anyhow. Always an interesting subject though whether you are 16 or 66.

Topal

 

[miakoda]

Perhaps the Yi Jing is referring to the other relationship with the younger man that she was wondering about and talked of in a previous thread? 28.5>32 is a pretty accurate description of what she was considering. In my experience the Yi Jing can override your question, pulling the agenda back to your deepest feelings, especially if concentration wanders or when a subject hasn't been fully explored and it wants you to return to the subject.

Miakoda

 

[peace66]

Another Take On This Issue...

Once again, thanks to all!!
Now, I'll put a different spin on this issue.
What Do I Need To Understand To Become Happy and Fulfilled In My Marriage??
25, 9/1, 9/5, 35
Let's see if this sheds any light on this subject?
Peace

 

[rosada]

Dear Peace,
Just wanting to mention that I've been chewing your first question. I got to thinking how you asked about enhancing the physical after 16 years and you got all these answers on growing old gracefully. When I focused on that it occured to me that 16 years really isn't the time for sitting on the front porch swing. I will be celebrating my 40 year anniversary next month and as they say, "I have not yet begun to fight!" Sixteen years sounds like it's right around the time the youngest is finally out of the house on Friday night and it might be Mom and Dad's turn to shake out the moth balls. Anyway, as I mentioned before, I think 28.5 is encouraging you you can revive the physical by doing the same things that brought the physical to life to begin with. This doesn't have to be just perfume and lace. Anything that wakes up the sences is recommended here. Horseradish on burgers is one way to start. Seriously, spice up the food, put on the music, move the furniture, dye your hair, wear fur, and spray Evening in Paris all over the house! Furthermore, turn off all the distractions that numb the sences, the t.v., the radio, the banal phone calls, make the physical something you WANT to pay attention to, not something you're trying to tune out.

Now, about how to be happpy though married.

25.1 You married the right person.
25.5 If you are questioning this now, don't worry, this too shall pass.

35.The superior man HIMSELF brightens his bright virtue. Instead of asking how can I be happy in my marrage, ask "How can I be happy?" period. As you are happy and fulfilled, you will become strong enough to see how your mood is influenced by the passing issues, and will be strong enough to maintain your good humor no matter what the outer world throws at you. ...well, in an ideal world maybe. Meanwhile here are some..

Easy ways to become happy and fulfilled right now: Jump up and down, go for a walk, take a shower, eat something with protein in it, listen to cheerful music, complete a nagging chore, and of course that old standby, "When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping!"

 

[willowfox]

What Do I Need To Understand To Become Happy and Fulfilled In My Marriage??
25, 9/1, 9/5, 35"

Hex 25.1 says to be young at heart again, to have those same loving feelings like when you first met.

Hex 25.5 this says don't try to force the issue let nature take its course in your relationship, also do not rely on external "things" to boost your marriage let your inner feelings of love do that.

Hex 35 says to be pure in mind and spirit so that your true love for your partner can shine.

 

[peace66]

Thanks Rosada & Willowfox!!

Although we still have our 5 year-old daughter home with us, we can still take up some
of these Ideas and Run with them!!
Thanks Loads!!
Peace