Does iching say I will regret the breakup?

[bluelight]

What is iching trying to say here?

So I've been in the relationship that I wanted to break off for a long time because of cultural differences and some habits. I posted about this relationship before. It was all difficult, but eventually, it felt like we grew (or he did) in this relationship. So in January he left for home country, soon the borders were shut down, we kept communicating. So lately he told me that he doesn't have the means to return to the US, and the long distance would pain him, and in general I/the relationship hurt him a lot, and so forth. And that we should lessen communication and effectively break up and to lose attachment. At this point, I felt like this relationship might not have been perfect but it has value and I'm ready to accept the responsibility and accept him now if we continue. I know I could push for the relationship and maybe give him reassurance and keep the relationship going. So I casted the options

If I try to continue the relationship 36.2.3>19

If I don't 24.1.5.6>20

It is not clear to me? Does the 24.6 tell me that I will regret the break up?
36.2.3 sounds like it will be difficult if/to continue but 19 is a good result? And if I don't, it will good for me, but then I'd regret it?!

Thank you

 

[mandarin_23]

Hello bluelight,

basically as far as you write he seems to be the one who wants to break up anyway. So there might be not so much of a choice for you, especially as circumstances are separating you? In 36.2.3|19 you are hurt, and you are deeply involved, which might be said by relating hexagram 19. And this is all right. In 36.2 it might be said, that you are still helping him somehow, and in 36.3. - well there are lots of interpretations, but I think that there isn't that much you can do.

24.1.5.6|20 might be the next step. There is 20 as a related hexagram - gaining view of the whole picture. Returning of light, of better times, of what your most importanat values are. In 20.6 I'd just see a hint - take your chances and opportunities
.
All the best,
Mandarine

 

[bluelight]

So there might be not so much of a choice for you, especially as circumstances are separating you? In 36.2.3|19 you are hurt, and you are deeply involved, which might be said by relating hexagram 19.

Thanks Mandarine. Yes he wants but there is also an option that if I give him enough reassurance, it might be worked out and is something he is asking of me. That happened before. The distance, yes it's another issue I don't have much control over. Here I believe it can be resolved in a few months, however.

In 20.6 I'd just see a hint - take your chances and opportunities

Do you mean 24.6?

24.1Wilhelm/Baynes: Return from a short distance. No need for remorse. Great good fortune.
24.5 Wilhelm/Baynes: Noble hearted return. No remorse.
24.6
Legge: The sixth line, magnetic, shows its subject all astray on the subject of returning. There will be evil. There will be calamity and errors. If with her views she puts the hosts in motion, the end will be a great defeat, whose issues will extend to the ruler of the state. Even in ten years she will not be able to repair the disaster.

Wilhelm/Baynes: Missing the return. Misfortune. Misfortune from within and without. If armies are set marching in this way, one will in the end suffer a great defeat, disastrous for the ruler of the country. For ten years it will not be possible to attack again.

Commentary. Confucius/Legge: Evil consequences result because the course pursued is contrary to the proper course for a ruler.

So, all is well in 24.1 24.5 but what kind of chance does 24.6 mean? Sounds pretty bad, what could go wrong after lines 1 and 5, sounds like it could be interpreted as a return to the "right path"

 

[mandarin_23]

Well I meant 24.6., of course. If I was you, I'd take the first reading to think it over. You really will do what your heart tells you, there is not much to say! And this is the best thing. You need to find the courage to go for your truth, we all need that. No oracle on earth can do that for you!

And this is why I wouldn't be that sure if the 24.6 is really a menace like "oh if I allow myself to split up, then I'll have regrets". I wouldn't think so.

These two readings might be related to each other, such as the relating hexagrams 19 and 20 really are. The second reading 24|20 expresses return. What will return? Maybe distance and overview and clearminded-ness will return and should return?

Take your time, there is no hurry - this is also what a 24.1.5.6|20 reading might say. The only thing to respect with 24.6 is that there is a good right time for everything, and not good to miss it wanting too much or pushing too hard.

 

[bluelight]

Ok an update. So I went with route 1, tried to communicate my feelings and thoughts and see what's salvageable. It was productive, we talked out a lot of issues and I was able to clear some misunderstandings. Then, instead of some dramatic and passive-aggressive communication, we agreed to certain boundaries and it's all friendly and positive now. So we stay friends. So far I' happy with the outcome.