Exchange of glances, nothing happened, contact him? 57.3 > 59, 23 to 61, and some other questions...

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Hello,
I'm pretty sure I already understood this readings but I'd like to share them because they look so fitting and also because I'd like to make sure that maybe I'm not seeing some other aspects.

Well, I kept eye contact with a really fascinating guy during an entire event, I was so sure we liked each other... but every time we had a chance to get closer, something made me or him turn the head and lose the opportunity. Maybe someone talking to me or him, and so on... So, so frustrating! I think we both tried to overcome shyness but have been unable to.
I know that he doesn't live near me, he could just come back in the future for work, but I don't know how, when.
I guess that I definitely lost the chance... I'm a little bit sad. Maybe more than a little bit. I've found is profile on FB but really wouldn't look like desperate or a stalker, contacting him.

So, first of all I asked to Iching "How to evaluate this situation (that has created between me and The Beautiful Guy)?" And got 57.3 leading to 59.
Line 3 speaks about someone who isn't able to act and is stuck in their thoughts!... Yeah, pretty accurate! We dispersed the chance to get closer.

"What if I try to contact him trough social?" 23.1.2.5 to 61. This answer looks like a big NO, but not if I look at the fifth line...
Line 1, The leg of the bed is split, = those who persevere are destroyed. A "disempowering situation" (quoting Cafeausoul).
Line 2, The bed is split at the edge = those who persevere are destroyed. "Something is being removed because of separation. Don’t attempt to force the status quo because you are no match for the forces of change. To succeed, admit that your need for protection or boundaries may have sacrificed union. (Fits too well!). Take a non prejudiced outlook willing to see what must change within. Normal avenues of advice can be misleading however, a sensitive and innocent outlook allows for a rebirth in your thinking. Allow a child to be your teacher.
The foundations are missing, so maybe I misunderstood everything.

But line 5 says: A string of fishes = favor comes as a gift. How to deal with this contradiction?


"Is there a possibility to see him again?" 43 uc. Maybe only if I'm ready to be really resolute, and take a decision (maybe being ready for a change?)

"What is the potential between us?" 4.6 leading to 7. Too much discipline? But Wilhelm says to "prevent transgressions". This is what we did in the end... Maybe it was the right thing to do.

Is there a possibility to connect with him in some way? 2.6 leading to 23. The conflict between the dragons. The conflict between mind and heart? Ending in 23, it couldn't look worse, right?

But I'd really appreciate any thoughts on this!

 

[Trojina]

So, first of all I asked to Iching "How to evaluate this situation (that has created between me and The Beautiful Guy)?" And got 57.3 leading to 59.
Line 3 speaks about someone who isn't able to act and is stuck in their thoughts!... Yeah, pretty accurate! We dispersed the chance to get closer

This line shows someone who keeps on pressing for more information/clarity/confirmation and Yi says that brings shame

'Pressing penetration, shame.'

So it's not that someone can't act it's just they aren't satisfied their action is enough or they think there is more to uncover or understand. So in answer to your question it looks like a classic case of over thinking/over penetrating, trying to uncover what the meaning of those looks were and Yi is advising you to stop. The reason for the shame is fairly often that you already have your answer so why press more. Maybe those times he turned away were your answer and maybe you already know that?

"What if I try to contact him trough social?" 23.1.2.5 to 61.

Well generally it looks to be a situation of loss, it's not very promising. It's apparent from 57.3 you might be reading too much into it in the first place hence in pursuing it you set yourself up for a painful experience. Line 5 often has to do with social connections/networks being of benefit so I could say you could try to get his attention through other people. I don't know how that works on social media but in the old days that would be talking to the friends of the guy you were interested in to find out if he's free and also to make sure he gets the message you are interested. Things like that - posting on a thread or platform he is likely to be reading, maybe connected with the event you both attended? Making yourself quite prominent on any thread connected with that?

However Yi aside here the quickest easiest way to find out if he is interested is to contact him through social media if possible isn't it? That way at least you won't be thinking about him you'll know if he is interested or not. One can hold back too much because of what one thinks Yi is saying but in this case what's the worse that can happen? He could ignore you or reply.

Is there a possibility to connect with him in some way? 2.6 leading to 23. The conflict between the dragons. The conflict between mind and heart? Ending in 23, it couldn't look worse, right?

The relating hexagram really is not how anything ends. That is the biggest misunderstanding, the most misleading idea ever propagated about understanding Yi answers. The relating hexagram is the context/where you are in relation to the issue which can include past present and future. Also you have one line changing making that line pretty important here.

If things are left open (hex 2) endlessly (at line 6) with no directions chosen then you can end up in that horrible frame of mind of 'what if's' which is torture and leads to losing both possibilities.

Personally in your shoes I'd decide (43) whether he was giving me enough indication on that day he didn't want to pursue it. You looked back at him enough and that likely was enough signal to him but he didn't take it for whatever reason. Are you going on pressing and pressing even though really you have your answer ? If so that would be the 57.3 and the shame for you is you can embarrass yourself. Mind you I don't think embarrassing oneself is huge on the scale of things, I don't think we can live in real life connection with others and the world without embarrassing ourselves most days ...but here it's not that you are doing something wrong, but that you have decided to miss the signals and keep pressing OR it could even be you have your answer that he is interested and you are looking into it too much rather than acting. However the 23 answer wasn't great and also mostly I think it's better that he approach you (which may be old fashioned but still) after all he was there looking at you so why isn't he pursuing you? Is that your answer?


So going back to what I'd do in your shoes with these answers. I'd try to feel out what the over penetration was that I was doing in 57.3. If I still felt confident there was a good vibe going on I'd decide (43) I would contact him on social media - whilst fully aware this could be pretty painful and could be quite a loss for me (23) nonetheless I'd be acting according to the truth of my perceptions(61).
However intense our perceptions can mislead us and that could be what's happening here - but maybe it's worth exploring anyway? Potential between you? Well 4 has to learn through actual experience and moreover one cannot be too harsh on oneself for not knowing ahead of time if things will work out (4.6)

2.6 sounds a bit also like missing one another, wrong timing on the day but it could also be fighting within yourself over what to do. So why not just try and connect with him and see where it goes but be prepared you might get hurt.

 

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This line shows someone who keeps on pressing for more information/clarity/confirmation and Yi says that brings shame

'Pressing penetration, shame.'

So it's not that someone can't act it's just they aren't satisfied their action is enough or they think there is more to uncover or understand. So in answer to your question it looks like a classic case of over thinking/over penetrating, trying to uncover what the meaning of those looks were and Yi is advising you to stop. The reason for the shame is fairly often that you already have your answer so why press more. Maybe those times he turned away were your answer and maybe you already know that?


Well generally it looks to be a situation of loss, it's not very promising. It's apparent from 57.3 you might be reading too much into it in the first place hence in pursuing it you set yourself up for a painful experience. Line 5 often has to do with social connections/networks being of benefit so I could say you could try to get his attention through other people. I don't know how that works on social media but in the old days that would be talking to the friends of the guy you were interested in to find out if he's free and also to make sure he gets the message you are interested. Things like that - posting on a thread or platform he is likely to be reading, maybe connected with the event you both attended? Making yourself quite prominent on any thread connected with that?

However Yi aside here the quickest easiest way to find out if he is interested is to contact him through social media if possible isn't it? That way at least you won't be thinking about him you'll know if he is interested or not. One can hold back too much because of what one thinks Yi is saying but in this case what's the worse that can happen? He could ignore you or reply.


The relating hexagram really is not how anything ends. That is the biggest misunderstanding, the most misleading idea ever propagated about understanding Yi answers. The relating hexagram is the context/where you are in relation to the issue which can include past present and future. Also you have one line changing making that line pretty important here.

If things are left open (hex 2) endlessly (at line 6) with no directions chosen then you can end up in that horrible frame of mind of 'what if's' which is torture and leads to losing both possibilities.

Personally in your shoes I'd decide (43) whether he was giving me enough indication on that day he didn't want to pursue it. You looked back at him enough and that likely was enough signal to him but he didn't take it for whatever reason. Are you going on pressing and pressing even though really you have your answer ? If so that would be the 57.3 and the shame for you is you can embarrass yourself. Mind you I don't think embarrassing oneself is huge on the scale of things, I don't think we can live in real life connection with others and the world without embarrassing ourselves most days ...but here it's not that you are doing something wrong, but that you have decided to miss the signals and keep pressing OR it could even be you have your answer that he is interested and you are looking into it too much rather than acting. However the 23 answer wasn't great and also mostly I think it's better that he approach you (which may be old fashioned but still) after all he was there looking at you so why isn't he pursuing you? Is that your answer?


So going back to what I'd do in your shoes with these answers. I'd try to feel out what the over penetration was that I was doing in 57.3. If I still felt confident there was a good vibe going on I'd decide (43) I would contact him on social media - whilst fully aware this could be pretty painful and could be quite a loss for me (23) nonetheless I'd be acting according to the truth of my perceptions(61).
However intense our perceptions can mislead us and that could be what's happening here - but maybe it's worth exploring anyway? Potential between you? Well 4 has to learn through actual experience and moreover one cannot be too harsh on oneself for not knowing ahead of time if things will work out (4.6)

2.6 sounds a bit also like missing one another, wrong timing on the day but it could also be fighting within yourself over what to do. So why not just try and connect with him and see where it goes but be prepared you might get hurt.

I'm very grateful for the wisdom and the advices you shared, dear Trojina. You analyzed the situation very well through the lines...
Anyway, I could be wrong about my sensations but I don't think so. It's not just him who lost his chance but me too, have ignored him when he got closer, because I got really shy in those moments, except for a little sweet smile we shared. I trust my perceptions but another feeling I have is that (maybe) when something doesn't work out, even if it looked like the most beautiful thing that could have been, this is enough to say it wasn't meant to be and let it go, especially if it's about someone who lives in another country.
About line 3 of 57 I keep seeing my struggle for being so shy: right when I see someone who looks so beautiful, sweet, fascinating, who looks at me in return (or it looks like so), I turn my head when he comes near? And the questions is also why do I have to be so shy to people in general? These questions I keep asking myself seem to fit really well with what you have written about that line.

Also in line 6 of hex 2 I have red about the fact that some of the two dragons is in a humble position. I can see me, who lately have been feeling not sho happy about what I have reached so far, in contrast with him, an artist, a passionate and dedicate person, who looks more in peace with theirself. Maybe I'm not the kind of woman he should even be interested into. Or maybe I just have some self-esteem issues, which also seems enough for not engaging such a nice person in a whatever-relationship with me.

Btw, I also asked what I know that one should never ask: what did he feel for me? I take into account that Yi could be addressing me in its answer, 58.1.4.6.

Line 1 Contented joyousness, Legge mentions "inward armony", it could be of course an advice for me, or what he has seen in me. Or all this could say something about feeling content with what you have.
Line 4 quoting Legge "That might have an injurious effect, but he reflects and deliberates before he will yield to the seduction of pleasure, and there is cause for joy." -> this could speak about both me or him. It's like we knew that maybe it would have been just an instant of pleasure, then saying goodbye. We neither look like people who would do things just for fun (I'm not and he didn't look like so).
Line 6: "If we are irresolute, the pressures that vanity exerts in the form of self-pity, impatience, restlessness or desire, may cause us to stray from our path. Such impulses, if not firmly resisted, will take over, at least temporarily. Of all evils, vanity is the most seductive, therefore the most dangerous."

Again it could be an insight of what restrained him, but also what restrained me from approaching.

All this leading again to 59, dispersion...Now I'll impose to myself not to ask any question further, I will think about taking action or letting it go (as I don't want to get hurt, maybe it's what I will do)

Thank you again <3

 

[Trojina]

I will think about taking action or letting it go (as I don't want to get hurt, maybe it's what I will do)

But at this stage it won't hurt too much will it as you don't know him. It won't feel great if he ignores you but surely it's better than not knowing. You could just send him something connected to the event - no idea what the event was - but maybe something light hearted, a joke or video and ask him how he enjoyed it and so on. He isn't someone you know is he so you don't have to face him. And if you are shy and feel 57.3 is about your shyness then maybe that is encouragement to reach out rather than spend much time agonising and repeatedly probing.

58.1.4.6>59 I don't know how he feels of course - I get from this an impression of him quickly scanning the room, looking for pleasure and connection and equally quickly letting it go. But that's what most people do perhaps on a night out when they are single? I also get the idea, like you he was weighing things up....maybe many considerations going through his mind. The 59 sort of blew it all away. Also you don't know this man at all right? So how can he have actual feelings for you if he doesn't know you. He clearly liked the look of you but apart from that what other feelings could he have yet?

Actually you know that reading sounds exactly like this you described

Well, I kept eye contact with a really fascinating guy during an entire event, I was so sure we liked each other... but every time we had a chance to get closer, something made me or him turn the head and lose the opportunity.

The eye contact, 58.1.....the turning away 58.4 and 59...it describes the situation.

I think you should reach out. If it doesn't work out it won't be long term hurt just a bit of, well, just a little sting. Also you may feel empowered and proud of yourself for breaking your pattern of shyness.

 

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But at this stage it won't hurt too much will it as you don't know him. It won't feel great if he ignores you but surely it's better than not knowing. You could just send him something connected to the event - no idea what the event was - but maybe something light hearted, a joke or video and ask him how he enjoyed it and so on. He isn't someone you know is he so you don't have to face him. And if you are shy and feel 57.3 is about your shyness then maybe that is encouragement to reach out rather than spend much time agonising and repeatedly probing.

58.1.4.6>59 I don't know how he feels of course - I get from this an impression of him quickly scanning the room, looking for pleasure and connection and equally quickly letting it go. But that's what most people do perhaps on a night out when they are single? I also get the idea, like you he was weighing things up....maybe many considerations going through his mind. The 59 sort of blew it all away. Also you don't know this man at all right? So how can he have actual feelings for you if he doesn't know you. He clearly liked the look of you but apart from that what other feelings could he have yet?

Actually you know that reading sounds exactly like this you described

The eye contact, 58.1.....the turning away 58.4 and 59...it describes the situation.

I think you should reach out. If it doesn't work out it won't be long term hurt just a bit of, well, just a little sting. Also you may feel empowered and proud of yourself for breaking your pattern of shyness.

I decided to send a simple short friendly message, but without a friendship request, I realized then, that maybe my PM ended in the very useful message requests folder that nobody ever checks!
I asked: Did my message go in the request folder or will it arrive to destination? I got 5.1.2.4 : Waiting, leading to 31, attraction (uh!).

Line 1: Waiting in the meadow. It furthers one to abide in what endures. No blame.
Line 2: Waiting on the sand. There is some gossip. The end brings good fortune.
Line 4: Waiting in blood. Get out of the pit.

Line 4 doesn't sound good, but it also speaks about letting things take their course... In my opinion, this could refer to the message, it is waiting to get out of the pit, and hopefully it will. Or it's an advice for me, stop worrying so much about it. Or get out of this pit of dreaming about an unknown man who lives abroad.
I wondered if in some way the action to be taken is sending a friendship request, so this would definitely bring the message out of the pit.

Asked for advice about sending the request and got 24.3.5 to 63. Line 3 seems to show my indecision. Line 5, return and avoid a mistake? Confusing how LiSe, about both lines, suggests returning to one's essence and truth whatever the risk, the shame and the common sense! But yes, my path could also mean my life, my duties, no space for daydreaming, etc. I know I'm trying to escape from many things and relationships that aren't working, so this could also point out that it's all a mistake... and maybe also all the 23s, the pit and so on, are telling me that I'm doing wrong and should just return to a more righteouspath. I'm confused. I consider 63 an invite to cautiousness, so I don't know, I'll just sleep on it!

If you or anyone have any idea, feel free to share Thank you a lot again

 

[Trojina]

The 5 answer is most likely advice to you in this time of waiting. It shows you feeling vulnerable and unsure in lines 1 and 2 and totally freaking yourself out in line 4. Line 4 says 'get out of the pit' which is here that horrible place of mental torment, don't stay in that mental place. Yi is saying to you quite strongly to relax now and try to enjoy this interim time whilst the message reaches him. I think you should assume the message is where it needs to be but you must stop worrying now. 5 is an instruction on how to wait for things and it says to eat and drink and listen to music as if you didn't have a care.

Asked for an advice about sending it and got 24.3.5 to 63. The comments left me confused. About both lines, LiSe suggests returning to one's essence and truth whatever the risk, the shame and the common sense!

Well 63 is an act already done - already decided really. There's no real problem with the communication other than the back and forth hesitation in line 3 which you already went through.

 

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The 5 answer is most likely advice to you in this time of waiting. It shows you feeling vulnerable and unsure in lines 1 and 2 and totally freaking yourself out in line 4. Line 4 says 'get out of the pit' which is here that horrible place of mental torment, don't stay in that mental place. Yi is saying to you quite strongly to relax now and try to enjoy this interim time whilst the message reaches him. I think you should assume the message is where it needs to be but you must stop worrying now. 5 is an instruction on how to wait for things and it says to eat and drink and listen to music as if you didn't have a care.



Well 63 is an act already done - already decided really. There's no real problem with the communication other than the back and forth hesitation in line 3 which you already went through.

Dear Trojina, again thank you for your insight and your time!
I know it looks like I'm freaking out, I must admit that every time I consult theYi I freak out a little bit, because of the many possible interpretations that I always find. It could be literal, metaphorical, it could speak about me, them, or the object of my enquiry. My indecisiveness is the biggest issue that comes out from all of this, and I'm grateful to the Yi, it always points out where I should work on myself, whatever the subject of the question is.
I'm more light hearted than it seems about all this, I felt something very nice and so on, but the truth is that this kind of questions for me, are the easiest way to learn interpreting the Iching and the easiest to share, not asking about a serious matter. So I "use" them to explorate and study, and I really appreciate your help in all this!
But I get what you say, I'm in that mental place and should come back to my center.

About the message, he hasn't visualized it yet. I really think it could have been sent in that folder, I forgot how stupid FB is in its mechanisms! But maybe, as you say, the message is just where it should be... OR, he just didn't open it. I'll wait and see...