freaked out by students abuse

[goddessliss]

Hi,
Just when I think something is sorted it has come back up to upset me yet again.
I have just started a course at Tafe(adult education) and a student(male) and I became friends for study purposes only.
Unfortunately he wanted to be more than friends and started harrassing me sexually and although I asked him to stop and ignored any further contact from him he continued to abuse me via txt msges and voice mail.
So I did what we were taught to do in class and reported it to our head teacher.
Unfortunately she dealt with it in a manner that said she didn't want to deal with it so as the contact did stop once she talked to him and all I really want to do is study to learn I let it drop rather than turning it into a major harrassment case.
Unfortunately he told other students about it and for a couple of weeks I rec'd the cold shoulder from them which made it a bit uncomfortable but as they don't really matter to me outside of Tafe and we still managed to work together properly in class I thought it best to just let it work itself out.
And so I thought it did and yday he sent me a msge asking if we could be on speaking terms again and I said yes but at Tafe only and breathed a sigh of relief.
However he kept txting and ringing me but I chose to ignore it so consequently he sent to very abusive txts to me.
I just want him to leave me alone and get on with my studying in a comfortable and harmonious environment.
I don't trust the teacher so short of going above her head I have not reported it.
So I asked the IChing -
What is the best way to deal with the latest txt msges from x
I rec'd Hex 51.2.4>19

Please help me as I am near tears and just want to get on with things.
My take on it is to just let it go and it will resolve itself but as I have already done this I am a bit hesitant.

thku
Melissa

 

[em ching]

Hello,

Sounds like an uncomfortable situation - but stay strong and know that it can't last forever! I think 51.2 says that your student - through his insulting actions - is trying to take something from you because you didn't give him what he wanted. He's got a lot of growing up to do (let's hope he does a bit of that soon!) He's probably got psychological issues to behave in this way - could you speak to his parents - or if he's an adult - maybe alert a member of the authorities about his pestering behaviour in case they get worse?
But line 2 also says not to worry - that you'll get back what he is trying to take from you - you just have to weather this storm without allowing him to rock your boat. Stay firm and believe that right is on your side.

I think 51.4 reflects that the situation is now at it's worst and you're not able to do anything for the time being until the mud is eventually washed away.

19 is very positive! The approach of spring - perhaps it means new and good things will enter your life again to ease you out of this situation.
It could also be saying, as in your current position there isn't much you can do because you're in the middle of it - reflected by hex 51 - that you need to approach someone in a higher position whose job it is to deal with these sorts of issues.
It's probably happened to other teachers. Could you do some research and find out where you can get support? The head teacher doesn't sound very sympathetic and rather lazy as he won't get involved or help you. Perhaps though you should see him and tell him you will report the issue to someone higher than him?

Em

 

[justin farrell]

Hi Melissa

What Em says about line 2 in her reply sounds like good advice. I think its always a good idea not to let the another person's negative behaviour (harrassment/bullying) 'get to you'. It's easier said than done of course - I know that from my own experience. In your situation it may be advisable to try and ignore the person as best you can (I would say he has lost the right to communicate with you) and to avoid reading his text messages. If he picks up on the fact that he is not affecting you emotionally, he will hopefully lose his motivation to act as he has been doing.

Hope this helps,

Justin

 

[goddessliss]

Thankyou Em and Justin,
This is exactly what I needed to hear and your insight via the IChing and sharing your similar experience Justin helps a lot.
It makes me feel less isolated and feel better that others understand.

Blessings,
Liss

 

[goddessliss]

Can u believe it today I got a msge from him apologising (and making excuses of course) and when I didn't respond he rang and apologised as well so hopefully......anyway will wait and see but I did what you guys suggested and removed myself emotionally from the issue which helped a lot.

Blessings, x

 

[justin farrell]

Glad to hear that you feel happier about the situation, Melissa . You may want to keep your guard up against this person though. It might be best to just have nothing to do with him. I think that it is proberbly good to accept his apology; but if you get back on speaking terms with him, he may fall back into his wishfull thinking, and mistakenly take this as a sign that you are in some way interested. It does sound a bit like he is the 'victim' of his own uncontrolled emotions. By not responding to his 'emotional games', he will hopefully get the message that you are definately not interested.

Hope this helps.

Justin

ps As well as sorting out the problems that he is causing you, this could might also be the best way to let him get over his own issues.

 

[fkegan]

Hi Melissa,

My daughter is named Melissa, so I feel close to all of that name.The fact is that sexual harassment never stops until punished to the full extent of the law. They will take any pose to get a response and use that response to feed their evil.

As to the advice of the Oracle:

Hex 51.2.4>19 Or Swoops >>Coming Together

Hex 51 is about the Thunderbolt to the Heart that disrupts your life and tests your mettle absolutely.

Line 2 sets out the reality of long term harassment that will be damaging and any effort on your part will be useless. After the entire episode is eventually over you may resume your life if you still have one.

Line 4: The situation is like being in thick mud. This is difficult for those who care about you, off-putting to those who could help you and infinitely exciting to those who would victimize you further.

As it all works itself out, the Yang line 4 expressing and exhausting itself, filling in the Open Space of line 2, this timing becomes hex 19 Coming Together: the powerful swing of the pendulum which never moves in a straight line and always swings only from extreme to extreme.

I would interpret this as expressing your situation.

Far from suggesting putting up with this abuse until it runs its course (which usually is not at all pleasant) I would say you need a new situation to end the timing of this Oracle and get yourself a better reality before it is truly too late for you.

Is there another such teaching position available to you? Do you have a place of refuge?

Frank

 

[goddessliss]

Thks Frank

well we have been on speaking terms again for a week now and he is very Hex 10 and keeps the boundaries in place himself.
So I guess Hex 19 happening too.

blessings,
Melissa

 

[fkegan]

Abusers never get better just more careful and sly...

Thks Frank

well we have been on speaking terms again for a week now and he is very Hex 10 and keeps the boundaries in place himself.
So I guess Hex 19 happening too.

blessings,
Melissa

Hi Melissa,

Blessings Upon All named for the honey bee (Melissa is Greek for honey bee and honey)

I am glad to hear things go well, but as father to a Melissa, I still worry. I have been in classrooms with such students and they watch very intently and do not see things as we would hope they might.

If he isn't being dangerous, it is only that he feels he can't express that. In the Wilhelm hex 19 describes a pendulum and warns if it is going very nicely one way now, it will go equally fast in the other direction within 8 months!!

Abusers NEVER learn better and too often they are next known for their violence.

So, please be vigilant and have other plans, either him in custody or you in safety by the end of this summer. He will never be OK only in remission like a lymphoma.

My apologies, but parents worry and think of what is the worst case scenario all ways and always.

Enjoy the eye of the hurricane, but don't forget it is a Cyclone still.

Frank

 

[goddessliss]

Just letting you all know the ending of this story to date is that I kept my distance from him and in the end he did a similar thing to another student only she called the police in and he is no longer allowed to continue with his education at this particular school.

blessings
Melissa

 

[goddessliss]

Just letting you all know the ending of this story to date is that I kept my distance from him and in the end he did a similar thing to another student only she called the police in and he is no longer allowed to continue with his education at this particular school.

blessings
Melissa