Friendship question (31.2 changing to 28)

[frenchtaoist]

Hello Online Clarity I Ching community!

This is my first post in about 6 years!
My question was: What kind of interactions my friend would like to have with me at this point in time?
Here is some background information: I happen to have a crush on my friend and don't know if it is reciprocal. She is currently going through difficult times in her life.

This is the answer I got from the I Ching : 31.2 changing to 28. The answer left me a little confused.

My guess was that she might be attracted to me but right now she's holding off in her interactions with me as she's going through rough times.
I don't know how far off I am and if my interpretation is not just wishful-thinking.

Thank you in advance for any help you might provide!

 

[naserian]

6 at 2: Affect one's calf.Pitfall. To settle is auspicious.
For a good contact one needs to keep one's composure. Impulsive and rash reactions disturb relations. People want to feel at ease and to know were they stand, these two things are the base of being together.

Hexagram 31 is about mutual love and attraction so I would expect that she has feelings for you. However, Line 2 leading to hexagram 28 is telling you to back off a little for now or you might create an uncomfortable situation for both of you. Too much pressure... which might have the opposite effect from what you want... This is not the right time to reveal your feelings to her. Wait until she has dealt with her other issues. I hope this helps.

 

[gene]

Hello frenchtaoist

One thing that comes clear here is that any premature actions would be counterproductive. I would not consider that there is anything to be there until you see a sign from her that she is available to you. I suspect this has not happened yet. I would not take any action toward her until you see a clear sign of interest.

Gene

 

[ginnie]

I agree with Gene.

 

[frenchtaoist]

Naserian, Gene, and Ginnie: thank you all so much for your help interpreting my reading!
I think it should help me sort through my feelings/thoughts about the whole situation and have a more balanced attitude about it.

From your comments, can I conclude that regular friend interactions would be fine at this time but any courting or anything like it would be counterproductive or may create an uncomfortable situation?

I came to have mixed feelings about the way she feels about me because she welcomes flirtatious comments that I make to her sometimes. They usually make her laugh.

I asked the I Ching the following questions a little while ago:

(Oct. 8th) How does she respond emotionally when I make this type of comments (straightforward compliments about her physical appearance)?
I got 16.4>2.
(Oct. 10th) How would she respond if I flirted with her?
I received 2 only.
(Oct. 12th) How does she see our relationship at this time?
19.5>60.
And I asked the question I posted above on Oct.15.

I'm trying to see the big picture here, so I can adjust my expectations and interactions with her accordingly.

If you have a few moments, I would definitely appreciate your input.

All the best,

 

[ginnie]

From your comments, can I conclude that regular friend interactions would be fine at this time but any courting or anything like it would be counterproductive or may create an uncomfortable situation?

That's a good conclusion.

I came to have mixed feelings about the way she feels about me because she welcomes flirtatious comments that I make to her sometimes. They usually make her laugh.

She laughs, but that doesn't mean she isn't feeling uncomfortable at the same time ... Most women laugh and smile when someone pays attention to them -- even when their grandmother pays attention to them ...

Please consider that she might not have realized yet that she is in an actual relationship with you, French Taoist!!!

 

[frenchtaoist]

Thank you for your input, Ginnie!

I guess I was putting the car before the horse here, right?! ;-)
Reality-testing is not always pleasant to deal with, but it is necessary.

Can kua 19 also mean in this situation that we don't know each other well enough?

I am asking because on Oct. 16, I asked this question to the Yi: "how should I respond to the fact that she doesn't reply to my e-mails (anymore) ?"
I got 19.2.4.6 > 21.
My interpretation was that right now we may not be close enough for me to be too demanding about her not getting back to me. I should be patient and have modest expectations at this time. Only later when/if we're closer should I confront her about this if it still happens.
What do you think of my interpretation?

I have also a hard time to figure out this one.
On Oct. 2, I asked the I Ching : "What are her feelings towards me?"
I received: 14.2.4.5 > 37.
Any comments on this one would be very helpful.

I always appreciate anybody's help. I'm impressed with how many people are willing to help other people, who are mostly strangers to them, with their personal "problems" on this website.
Hopefully one day I will be able to return all this positive energy that was directed towards me!

 

[ginnie]

on Oct. 16, I asked this question to the Yi: "how should I respond to the fact that she doesn't reply to my e-mails (anymore) ?"
I got 19.2.4.6 > 21.

MMMmmm. You should be cautious. Something about helping her, French Taoist. You may be called upon to help her in some way that doesn't have to do with your romantic feelings at all ...

On Oct. 2, I asked the I Ching : "What are her feelings towards me?"
I received: 14.2.4.5 > 37.

Do you come from a family with a lot of money? Alternatively, do you come from a poor family? There could be a big difference in social status indicated here -- a difference that gets in the way of the blossoming forth of outright romantic expressions.

A hexagram 14 relationship is not one of the fulfillment of youthful yearnings regarding romance anyway. It is a rather cool, calm, and collected state of being and it has to do with generous and selfless sharing of some kind of higher knowledge. The heat of passion and the flares of ego only destroy the hex 14 relationship, which invariably does much better when the people involved are more mature.