Going on: 28.2.3.4.5>2; Looking for another Job 55.4>36

[marybluesky]

I need to go out. My job doesn't offer it. I've talked about it, however the few opportunities to teach in place instead of online end soon or are cancelled etc. Nothing happens.

I went to a short trip some days ago, where I was responsible for arranging almost everything and of course, did some hiking, and guess what? My depression, fear and other negative feelings faded away. I felt powerful, like years ago, the days before getting clinically depressed (Covid time destroyed ALL aspects of my life). After coming back, I felt good the first days, then some in place courses and meeting with coworkers were offered, which improved my mood again.

But today I learned that the course has been cancelled by the student. I'm feeling bad again. Like before my trip. I feel like being condemned to live here all my life, never getting rid of my parents' influence, never putting the roots of my own life. I absolutely need to change my place, but it's not enough. Isolation is toxic. I need positive, lively human contacts out of family with people of my age... and I need to be out, to be physically active, to breath lots of oxygen and get tired and not overthink my situation.

I have tested solutions such as going to the pool and mountain alone beside working at home. It doesn't work for me. I strongly need to BE somewhere else systematically if it makes sense.

Should I keep on my job, hoping that in place courses are soon offered? 28.2.3.4.5>2. Something is too much. And what remains is an empty land. So, no.

Should I look for another job which allows my to work out of home? 55.4>36
Not a good relating hexagram, but a good line:

'Feng is screened off
At midday, seeing the Dipper.
Meeting your hidden lord – good fortune.'

 

[Hartloper]

Hi @marybluesky,

The "good fortune" of 55.4. might not be so easy to digest as it entails meeting the dark lord, a hidden truth you might rather not know, or really facing what's driving your depression. That's tuff, but it's the only way to get out of the pit.

So getting another job and spending more time outside your home, might provide an opening, but you will probably still need to "meet your hidden lord" and deal with your depression or find treatment / healing.

I also lost everything during Covid, so I know the drill.

And I still rebel against it at times, but I know if I have gotten into this situation, I probably unconsciously "desire" it on some level, so I can face something I'm secretly afraid of. The good fortune in this is that it's the way to find release, even though its gonna hurt (36).

Thats just how I understand 55.4. For you it might be different.

Wish you all the best,

J.

 

[my_key]

Hi Mary
You are experiencing some pretty tough challenges at the moment.

Should I keep on my job, hoping that in place courses are soon offered? 28.2.3.4.5>2. Something is too much. And what remains is an empty land. So, no.

28 <> 2
'Great Traverses' through 'Responding'

28 speaks of the crisis you are facing and the hexagram focuses on how to gather strength to face the crisis. Yi advocates in the image that at these times, for best outcomes, 'The superior person stands alone without fear and withdraws from the world without sadness or depression'.
2 holds your whole situation within an open heart and and an approach that allows powerful responses rather than disempowering reactions. Look for ways to nurture and nourish.

You could perhaps best answer your own question by considering whether leaving your job is an empowering response or a knee-jerk reaction.

Should I look for another job which allows my to work out of home? 55.4>36
Not a good relating hexagram, but a good line:

'Feng is screened off
At midday, seeing the Dipper.
Meeting your hidden lord – good fortune.'

55 <> 36
'Receiving the Mandate' through 'Brightness Hiding'

36 holds this time as one where you need to bide your time as the best way for survival and keeping yourself protected. Nothing rash just ride out the storm.
There is a richness for you in this situation and recognising that the sorrows of before do not have to rule this situation too will allow you to see more clearly how to differentiate. A time for brutal truth and honesty about what is and what is not responsible behaviour and actions in this situation. Old patterns need to be addressed, for the good fortune to unfold: if not now, when? (55)

... or you may find other interpretations that have more meaning for you.

Good Luck

 

[marybluesky]

@Hartloper and @my_key ,

thanks for your answers.

So getting another job and spending more time outside your home, might provide an opening, but you will probably still need to "meet your hidden lord" and deal with your depression or find treatment / healing.

I'm genetically predisposed to depression and take (low-dose) antidepressants.
That being said, I've noticed that a balanced lifestyle is the key factor to handle this vulnerability. For example, if not going out is a risk factor, over-working is another one. I worked too much for some months in 2016-2017 and I got depressed. That time I healed soon after lessening my work and arrival of spring. The current major depression can be a case of long Covid, as both important depressive attacks (as I call them) that led to visiting a psychiatrist and taking medications happened some weeks after catching a Covid strain.

2 holds your whole situation within an open heart and and an approach that allows powerful responses rather than disempowering reactions. Look for ways to nurture and nourish...

I had similar thoughts today: I have done whatever I could to change the situation. Maybe it's meant to be like that now and I can find good ways to spend this time, maybe it's an opportunity?

There is a richness for you in this situation and recognising that the sorrows of before do not have to rule this situation too will allow you to see more clearly how to differentiate.

Yes, that's reasonable. We have a proverb in Persian that says: "the one who has been bitten by the serpent is afraid of black and white ropes"
...

 

[my_key]

Yes, that's reasonable. We have a proverb in Persian that says: "the one who has been bitten by the serpent is afraid of black and white ropes"
...

UK proverb " Once bitten, twice shy"