Guidance for crossroads (Hex 26 with lines twice and Hex 40>14)

[lightafterdarkness]

Hello everyone,

First of all what a beautiful forum. I've been reading for many years now, but never registered. A first, long and detailed post. Next time I'll keep it shorter

Today I've done some I-Ching on a cross road where I'm not sure what path to take. Also, apologies for the long description. But I want anyone who responds to really understand what my internal state is.

I've lost my father last week, he's died of terminal cancer as well as other heavy situations that have made my life for the past year hard.

I've had a relationship with someone which also ended last week and we both went through a lot in our external life, which resulted in lots of conflict and each of us also struggled with personal demons. We've been able to work through a lot, but my ex realized this is a time where they need to focus on their own journey and the relationship struggle was draining them to the point where they stopped seeing a future with me as they lost motivation to work for it.
I would've wanted to work things out with them, but I respect their decision and do acknowledge that at this point of my life it might bring me more peace than working through a lot of blocks.

My ex and I both do love each other, there's always been a strong friendship between us and are still in love with each other and right now we're both working to accept the break up. Our contact is good and the conversation that concluded our ending went smooth. We've discussed friendship and meeting up soon and although we still both experience attraction and love, they don't want to act on any feelings although it might be tempting and I do not want to put myself in a situation where I'm tricking myself into being friends but hoping for more.

Instead it would be a "I love this person so much, this is what brings them happiness right now so I let them go and if we tend to grow back together, beautiful. If we remain friends, beautiful. If we move apart, then so it will be." Mentality and just take it as it all comes while holding boundaries.

I understand this time for me is very transformational and it's about non resistance, letting go and allowing things to die (and perhaps rebirth in whatever form that may take, with no attachment towards it). Right now my ego wants to resist a lot of things, I had a deep realization that allowed me to realize that resisting the way life moves right now would be resisting myself as I'm being lead by life to accept that as my dad passed, I will be changed forever and in a way I died too. My ex partner also being a fundamental part of my life, this relationship died and a part of me did too. I've been grieving myself as well as my father for a long time and now the relationship adds to it. I feel like next to grieving all this, it's become time to accept that death has come. I cannot hide away from it anymore. If I'll resist, it'll end up in misery as I can't change fate right now. This time is about allowing endings and new beginnings to unfold.

I do still feel the need for some guidance on how to approach this situation with my ex as I'm vulnerable right now.

So as follows;

What will this friendship bring me 26.1.2.6>15

I think the lines and the hexagram might or might not represent the future of the connection, maybe represent the stages of the stages of becoming my ex's friend?
1. Part of the issue that made us break up
2. Understanding and acceptance that this outcome is out of my control
6. Choosing to let go and become friends or to let go forever, the crossroad (making a decision)

> 15 this process will return me back to my center and put me in a state of acceptance and allowing that whatever will happen, will unfold if I am to remain friends (or if I end up realizing I'm unable to) Just a thought.

What would be best for me right now (in relation to this connection but that was more of a feeling than something I added to the question) 40.1.3.6>14
40. Liberating myself from guilt and regrets. I've been blaming myself for the situation but at a mental level I know that it was timing, my problems and their problem altogether. Not just my mistakes. I have to forgive myself and liberate myself from guilt and from holding on to them.
1. We both agreed that none of us is at fault, we both had error.
3. To accept that my ex and I are not meant to be together at this time
6. Do not hold up a guard, be open and do not let fear disconnect you from intimacy
>14. I stop fighting against what can not be, I achieve an internal breakthrough

What might the result be if I let go 26.3.6.>19 (let go without expectations and become their friend based on loving them as a person) It's hard to interpret this one for me, but I think it's saying that things are hard now but if I am able to let go of inhibition and the need to control things something fruitful could come out of it?


26 seems to describe that I should remain open to the flow of life, keep myself together and be accepting in my approach instead of wanting to control things from a state of fear. Part of this fear also was a issue in the relationship.

I guess a common theme in every hexagram reflects the stage of my life right now, do not resist what is happening? But it also does not seem to advice me against being friends, to me it seems to say do as you please but let go and stay true to yourself.

Thoughts? I'd really appreciate other perspectives and thoughts as mine could perhaps be limited as the issue is close to my heart.

 

[Tistla]

Dear Lightafterdarkness,
(And hello everyone!)
I stumbled over your thread today, because I casted 26.1.2 Great Taming =>52 Stilling.

This is my first post ever in the forum, but I am a faithful and hopefully learning reader since last fall (2022)

LightAfterDarkness, I am really impressed over how adequate and well you are expressing yourself in your reasoning with the different aspects of your mind.
I resonate in some of the circumstances in your situation, (about my relationship too).
But mostly and even more so I really like how smooth and compassionate you are describing your feelings.
The core values you are formulating, that also are leading you, are as you said, in total center and accepting letting the flow flow.
I understand your sorrow, in my relationship I am in your position too, where the other part don’t have the resources willpower or clarity to clear everything out or make the needed decision/move.
But we haven’t parted yet.
We live I different city’s, and meet weekends.
We are facing almost this same problems as you two did
And right now I have withdrawn and are sort of contemplating the situation by myself.
I need some reasoning and clarity too, before I know what to do.
Your text, description was beautifully written and has contributed a lot to a sort of calmness I feel inside, not much yet, but it’s there.
I hope your life already started to blossom and flow.
Respect from me

Alexandra