H28.1.3.4.5 to H19 Legal Situation

[poised]

My friend J is a therapist who has worked with alcoholics and addicts for 20 years. He recently moved into my apartment complex. His upstairs neighbor keeps him awake night and day dropping things on the floor, using exercise equipment, having friends over who go bump in the night for hours. Plus, he is addicted to meth. My opinion that he is an addict were confirmed when we took him to the emergency room last summer, and he admitted to the lab tech that he was on meth. Plus, J knows an addict when he sees one.

J wrote a strong letter to management with a copy to local police about Upstairs Guy’s violating terms of lease by making noise at restricted hours, possibly dealing drugs, and having very unsavory sorts come to the property.

J also put some notes on UG’s door, and on two occasions, when they ran into each other outside, told him to cut it out.

Unbelievably, J just received threatening letters from management of this complex and their attorneys, to the extent that they issued a notice to “comply or vacate.” Reason: he shouldn’t have talked to the UG “in a threatening manner.” As far as I know, they left the addict alone. I did some online research about comply or vacate, and think it’s just management’s way to frighten friend so he won’t go to police anymore. J’s stepson is an attorney who will look into it.

Beyond the legalities, the injustice is impossible to comprehend.

Since I’m very involved with J, I wonder whether 28..1.3.4.5 is more about my own involvement and reactions.I am truly exhausted.

28. Preponderance of the Great. Extraordinary times. The water rises over the trees.

28.1 spreading white rushes suggest caution Or could even suggest spreading rugs or mats on UpstairsGuy’s floor to dull the noise?

28.3 Ridgepole sags to the breaking point. Sounds like J should just move to another place. Or that I should stop trying to prop up whatever I can prop.. .which is basically nothing.

28.4 The ridgepole is braced, good fortune. If there are ulterior motives it’s humiliating. ???

28.5 That darned older woman line. Ya, ya, ya, withered poplar that flowers only exhausts its energies. Both J and I are physically and emotionally burned out but what does that, have to do with the legal stuff? Will it all just settle down? Blow over?

CHANGING to Hexagram 19 Approach. Good fortune until the 8th month.

I always considered the second hexagram the real answer to the query and the changing lines what you have to go through to get there. But at online clarity, I find a much more sophisticated way of looking at this. I bought Hillary’s book at Amazon but don’t expect it until next week. Any help you can give with this mess will be appreciated indeed. Thanks.

 

[poised]

The exact question

Forgot to specify that I asked, how will the apartment situation work out?

 

[Trojina]

28.5 That darned older woman line. Ya, ya, ya, withered poplar that flowers only exhausts its energies. Both J and I are physically and emotionally burned out but what does that, have to do with the legal stuff? Will it all just settle down? Blow over?

Mmm re 28.5 it's more about doing something for the sake of doing it not for results...but here with this question I suppose it may signify a kind of burnout....perhaps even a gesture that lets off pressure but doesn't really get anywhere.

Given that he knew their issues it doesn't sound a great idea to be putting letters under their door and confronting them whilst formally complaining at the same time.....does it ? I mean I think it might have been better to complain formally without confronting them because now they will know who complained, be more belligerant ...and did he ever think they were going to be reasonable and comply ? Well maybe ...but I think the best way might be for all residents to put forward a joint complaint to management which might save aggro but who knows


Anyway that doesn't answer you question....of how it will work out ? I find the answer hard to apply. "Its all too much" in 28 of course...but you have many lines. 28.3 can't cope with the pressure 28.4 can. 28.1 is very careful in handling things and i don't think he has been....28.5 might suggest the issue resolves itself but I am not sure about that.

when I'm stuck I look to the change pattern. Well the yang change pattern is 49 so the whole situation has come about through some fundamental change, possibly the move itself of course. The yin change pattern , the way through and beyond the situation is hexagram 4, not knowing....and actually my impression of the answer is that this cannot be known just yet. It's like he has to live it as it happens....and its happening somewhat 'on the edge'...it looks complicated to me and I wouldn't expect immediate or easy resolution here.

Because 28ing is oft by it's nature something you fundamentally do alone my sense is this really is his problem and he is going to have to deal with it as that. It's not yours.

I am sympathetic to noise issues....but I wonder if he really has handled this intelligently ? Being a therapist for 20 years gives him no authority over these people does it nor really inform how he's treating them. I feel he may have just helped to create more of a problem for himself. There's the 19 of course...could read that excess nearing...or nearing excess noneof which sounds especially peaceful !


I expect others may have a different way to view the answer and I think many different takes are possible with this

 

[Trojina]

I always considered the second hexagram the real answer to the query and the changing lines what you have to go through to get there. But at online clarity, I find a much more sophisticated way of looking at this. I bought Hillary’s book at Amazon but don’t expect it until next week. Any help you can give with this mess will be appreciated indeed. Thanks.

No I don't think the second hexagram is simply the result....but for a happier interpretation one might say the authority in hexagram 19 does view the situation and nears it to help with it all.

The thing is at this stage even if they try to intervene now the people know he has complained it's not going to be alot of fun living there is it. Did he want them evicted or just told to be quiet ? I guess he wants them to be quiet and if they won't to be evicted but if he came after them it kind of weighs things against him doesn't it...


I'd be interested to hear others views on the cast as i find it a difficult cast to interpret....but as no one had answered I thought I'd have a go

 

[poised]

Creating problems?

Given that he knew their issues it doesn't sound a great idea to be putting letters under their door and confronting them whilst formally complaining at the same time.....does it ? I mean I think it might have been better to complain formally without confronting them because now they will know who complained, be more belligerant ...and did he ever think they were going to be reasonable and comply ?
.............

I am sympathetic to noise issues....but I wonder if he really has handled this intelligently ? Being a therapist for 20 years gives him no authority over these people does it nor really inform how he's treating them. I feel he may have just helped to create more of a problem for himself.

Creating problems may be core question, trojan. I think that initially J thought that UG didn't realize that his activities could be heard downstairs. As matters escalated, J even told UG that he could assist him in getting help for his problem. Eventually the antlers-on-the-hilltop behavior began. Probably a thousand people within ten miles love J for saving them and/or their children from addiction. Whenever we go out, we run into his ex-patients, who want to stop and talk. As tired as he is, he still spent five hours last weekend --without pay--teaching CPS volunteers how to work with alcohol addiction in domestic violence situations. A really dedicated guy. But physically, he looks like an ex-football player, has a gravelly voice and a brusque Down East manner. So it's pretty easy to misinterpret him. (We live in the Pacific NW.)

But on a deeper level, J may be creating problems so he can have a reason to leave this apartment complex and go "home." He was divorced three years ago from a woman I think is right for him. They still talk. They have a lot in common. He helped raise her son. This weekend, he's helping that son, now an attorney, cleaning out the kid's house two states away so kid can move across the country to a fabulous job. Wifey is driving over too.

I'm totally at peace with the whole situation. In fact, I cast another hexagram last night, "What does J really want?"
Hex 37.
Touched my heart and brought tears to my eyes...He should have his family....and I want him to be happy. At least I think that's the family he wants.

that doesn't answer you question....of how it will work out ? I find the answer hard to apply. "Its all too much" in 28 of course...but you have many lines. 28.3 can't cope with the pressure 28.4 can. 28.1 is very careful in handling things and i don't think he has been....28.5 might suggest the issue resolves itself but I am not sure about that.

Which pretty well convinces me that the answer is about how the situation will work out for me, rather than for him. It has been all too much, I'm seriously tired from and of the pressure, I can cope, I'm very careful handling the situation, and the issue is resolving itself in my dreams, in my heart, in my life. Whatever happens in J's world, my world is literally melting away from his. This brings me great sadness and great relief.

I'm stuck I look to the change pattern. Well the yang change pattern is 49 so the whole situation has come about through some fundamental change, possibly the move itself of course.

An uncannily perceptive view, trojan. The move J made into this apartment complex, and perhaps the move he made away from wifey more than three years ago. We shall see.

AND I moved to this town and this apartment complex just a few months before he arrived. I don't love this town, tho I've made a few dear friends here and of course have become very close to J. We are a sort of pretend family of two --know each others' children, do holidays together, spend weekends doing stuff together, keep trying to fit the pieces together, but the pieces are not a great fit. My adult daughter saw it immediately. "He's a lovely man, but not for you, Mom."

yin change pattern , the way through and beyond the situation is hexagram 4, not knowing....and actually my impression of the answer is that this cannot be known just yet. It's like he has to live it as it happens....and its happening somewhat 'on the edge'...it looks complicated to me and I wouldn't expect immediate or easy resolution here.

Because 28ing is oft by it's nature something you fundamentally do alone my sense is this really is his problem and he is going to have to deal with it as that. It's not yours.

And he's not mine, either, trojan. In some ways I've very happy that he's not. Imagine that!

Cannot thank you enough for all of your time and attention. You really helped me get it sorted out.

 

[poised]

Nine month followup

Amazing. I'd forgotten about this thread until today when I cast 28.1.3.5 > 54 about the aftermath of this now defunct relationship.

Anyway that doesn't answer you question....of how it will work out ? I find the answer hard to apply. "Its all too much" in 28 of course...but you have many lines. 28.3 can't cope with the pressure 28.4 can. 28.1 is very careful in handling things and i don't think he has been....28.5 might suggest the issue resolves itself but I am not sure about that.

"How it wi ll work out" was about our relationship, it seems.The "misfortune" in the 8th month in the original cast last March: We totally split up at the end of August. Since then, four months of no contact whatsoever, I was careful to avoid him for the first 60 days, now he's never here, obviously has another woman, perhaps his ex-wife, or another well-to-do Indian. (AmerInds get a lot of free money here.) He works for a tribe now, i's involved in tribal affairs -- probably in both senses of the word, LOL.

So our difficult relationship resolved itself, as we both wanted it to do. Without the nastiness of exit speeches.

I am relieved, and sometimes still a little sad. And sometimes very angry.

You hit the nail on the head, I think, about his causing problems for himself so he could "get back to where he once belonged."

Thanks again, Trojan, for guiding me through this complex and admittedly heart-wrenching situation. Indeed, nothing furthered.