Hex 1 unchanging - What is X's biggest fear with regard to pursuing me?

[Trojina]

Jazzy no i don't think I'm sexist, I am a woman, but i have noticed since reading these forums how tiresomely narcissistic women are in their questions to the Yi on relationships. Its usually "what does he think of me" "is he in love with me" etc etc in other words its all about them. And when anyone suggests another interpretation than the one they like they go nuts, like you did...a long diatribe about a simple sentence that your question may be a false assumption...



still it was your suggestion that one person should show 'humility' and that we were 'privileged' to respond to you that really sort of tipped me over the edge into repsonding where normally I have learned its best to stay quiet...

 

[jazzy]

Okay Trojan, so with no (dreamy subjective) input from me, how would you interpret this one...

"Is X thinking about me?"

I got 3.5 changing to 24

Wilhelm says: Nine in the fifth place means:
Difficulties in blessing.
A little perseverance brings good fortune.
Great perseverance brings misfortune.

"An individual is in a position in which he cannot so express his good intentions that they will actually take shape and be understood. Other people interpose and distort everything he does. He should then be cautious and proceed step by step. He must not try to force the consummation of a great undertaking, because success is possible only when general confidence already prevails. It is only through faithful and conscientious work, unobtrusively carried on, that the situation gradually clears up and the hindrance disappears."

 

[jazzy]

And "Is X thinking about pursuing me?"

I got 46 unchanging

PUSHING UPWARD has supreme success.
One must see the great man.
Fear not.
Departure toward the south
Brings good fortune.

No assumptions on either of these last 2 questions - just straightforward questions...

 

[Trojina]

such a narrow view of what females actually go through when they go through this process Trojan. Perhaps it's time to update your manual


Trojan rather than throw all my questions into one bucket and again assume they are based on assumptions, wouldn't it be better to address each one and evaluate them accordingly??

As I said i am a woman so don't need a manual. Your anger only shows how desperate you are to defend your reality. if you want defend your reality fine, but don't get angry when in response to your public posting people see your reading objectively. As a woman I can more clearly see how one great weakness of women is narcissism, hence no real love for men. Its been said men don't have real love for women when they see them as objects but i now see the inverse is also true, men can't be loved when women only see themselves as objects to be admired and pursued.

Jazzy since you said we were 'priviledged' to offer you an interpretation and must show 'humility' I will not ever address any one of your questions ever again..I sincerely do not regard it as a priviledge so will leave you in the capable hands of those who do regard it as such.

 

[jazzy]

still it was your suggestion that one person should show 'humility' and that we were 'privileged' to respond to you that really sort of tipped me over the edge into repsonding where normally I have learned its best to stay quiet...

You focused on 2 words that in the end weren't as strongly placed as you believe

With humility I was implying some sensitivity. Perhaps I used the wrong word And "privilege" was in the context of the posts being about very personal sensitive issues. Neither word was suggesting a hoity toity-ness on my part about people desiring to read my posts and participate.

I do believe it's a privilege to interpret someone else's reading. Just because the forum is public doesn't mean there shouldn't be some sensitivity in approaches to situations and therefore responses.

 

[jazzy]

Its been said men don't have real love for women when they see them as objects but i now see the inverse is also true, men can't be loved when women only see themselves as objects to be admired and pursued.

Where on earth did that come from???

Who ever said anything about being an object to be admired and pursued?? I couldn't be further from that philosophy! The reason I asked about being pursued is because X is a very macho and traditional kind of guy when it comes to women i.e. doesn't at all like to be pursued unless he is leading (and by the way that's not an assumption - he actually told me that!). Furthermore, given the history of the relationship I am not at all in a position to pursue SO i do NOT see this as an asymmetric situation where I'm to be admired and chased, but rather the realistic situation that it is.

Stop bashing women Trojan. You seem to have some major issues there about women's behaviour. Speak for yourself or not at all. Even from the postings on this site it would be extremely difficult to make an assumption or evaluate a woman without actually knowing what they're really all on about.

 

[Trojina]

Most of time, there are exceptions of course, when someone gets hex 1 unchanging it is a sign that the assumptions behind the question are wrong.
Blessings

This is all in your thoughts at the moment. Your question assumes that he first wants to pursue you and then secondly that he is frightened to do this for some reason. This is all your creation, maybe he hasn't even created the idea of pursuing you yet for himself.

Mike

I'm at a loss to see how these comments were insensitive.

 

[willowfox]

still countless females seem to go through this very same process here every day of the week...we never know what happens to them, I just don't see that many coming back to say "reader i married him".

Ah! Perhaps you don't see or wish to see them coming back, but some indeed do, you just ignore those. But if you went over to another site where I read, then you will see quite many replies. Even today I received a reply about a reading I did for a woman 12 months ago, spot on as they say. Okay, i am not always right but I do the best that I can to give a correct answer, and you have seen that some of my answers have been very negative, so your assumption of my feeding peoples dreams to just nasty vindictiveness.

 

[Trojina]

Where on earth did that come from???

Who ever said anything about being an object to be admired and pursued?? I couldn't be further from that philosophy! The reason I asked about being pursued is because X is a very macho and traditional kind of guy when it comes to women i.e. doesn't at all like to be pursued unless he is leading (and by the way that's not an assumption - he actually told me that!). Furthermore, given the history of the relationship I am not at all in a position to pursue SO i do NOT see this as an asymmetric situation where I'm to be admired and chased, but rather the realistic situation that it is.

Stop bashing women Trojan. You seem to have some major issues there about women's behaviour. Speak for yourself or not at all. Even from the postings on this site it would be extremely difficult to make an assumption or evaluate a woman without actually knowing what they're really all on about.

how many times do i need to say I am a woman a woman making a pretty general observation about male/female relations. In the light of what I've seen on this shared readings forum the narcissism of women is way more than I ever thought as is the capacity for self delusion. Thats not bashing women, theres an equal/opposite kind of dynamic happening in men..and many would say female narcissism is directly due to male objectification of them..but i think it may be more fundamental than that, who knows, if you are a psychology student you should be learning about these ideas not just unthinkingingly calling them 'bashing'

 

[rosada]

What is X's biggest fear in regards to pursuing me?

Hex.1 is about creating and continuing. Perhaps he is comfortable with the way things are between you and doesn't want to initiate any changes. Doesn't want to start anything he wouldn't be sure he'd want to continue.

 

[my_key]

Hi Jazzy

To take the closing line from your original post

thank you once again if anyone can shed some light....

There does appear to be quite a bit of a commotion created by a whole bunch of honest people who were all trying to shed some light.
Reading the thread here it does look like quite a lot of light has been shed on the question you asked.
Funny how the IC works at times

Take Care
MIke

 

[jazzy]

What is X's biggest fear in regards to pursuing me?

Hex.1 is about creating and continuing. Perhaps he is comfortable with the way things are between you and doesn't want to initiate any changes. Doesn't want to start anything he wouldn't be sure he'd want to continue.

Thanks Rosada. That makes a lot of sense too as a possible read. He was a self-confessed commitment phobe when I met him, but also claimed to want to be responsible towards women by not just picking up or having flings. Whether the latter is/was true or not I don't know. But the first claim about being a commitment-phobe rang true with his relationship history i.e. a few 1 to 2 year relationships and a lot of travelling.

So in response to my question it would likely be a big "fear". Plus there's the issue of our history and the fact he would definitely be doubting us as a couple given the damage that already took place.

I guess what I've learnt about the IC is that when you aren't 100% sure about a situation it can only give you a range of meanings. Until you really know the exact truth, you'll never really know the exact truth....

cheers
J

 

[jazzy]

There does appear to be quite a bit of a commotion created by a whole bunch of honest people who were all trying to shed some light.
Reading the thread here it does look like quite a lot of light has been shed on the question you asked. Funny how the IC works at times

Yes there has been Mike. To the point that we've come full circle on the situation! A bit like a multiple choice question where the answer is "all of the above".

While I feel the situation is just as hopeless as I when I started asking, I appreciate everyone who has offered any interpretation of the readings - without "spoonfeeding" me I can at least try to piece the story together based on those options and learn how X might be viewing the situation (if he is at all). But I do like Willowfox's approach in staying in there and following the story/trail of readings. It puts the interpretations into better context.

From Rosada's last reading of Hex 1 (to my original question) along with all my other following readings I get a clear sense that X is not comfortable in approaching me and not desiring to, even though the thought may have crossed his mind. But that there is always potential for him to get to that point, but that a lot of inner work needs to be done.

This rings true with his history as I know it....X was abandoned by his mother at age 4 (not a street type abandonment but nevertheless she left him with his grandmother and stopped caring for him). Any Psych book (or common intuition) will tell you this would have caused a great deal of damage and issues with women in general. He admitted this very briefly himself. In addition he fell in love with a high profile actress when they were in their late 20s. It was a mutual love match but things went awry when she to and fro-ed too much about their future together (possibly an immature ego thing on her part) so he did a dramatic thing and just walked - pretty much did what he did with me - just cut her off. But he was just paying her back because he really loved her and believed they'd end up back together. Instead within 2 years of them splitting she found great love with one of our country's most respected veteran musician/actors, a much older guy too so X had not only lost his great love but was publicly humiliated and his own budding acting career went downhill because the doors closed on him. So when I met him at age 37 he had a half-baked Law degree, a failed acting career, a still bruised ego (after 10 yrs) and was doing fringe theatre and working in a cinema. He also had issues about growing up in a "very poor" working class family. Yeah, loads there

I know he had issues about attracting women who "had it together" i.e. in his eyes success, a profession, money, good looks etc. because he told me so. He told me in a very brief bitter retort how those women haven't gone for him in the past (whereas they went for his lawyer friends etc) and it was in the context of him not really having a profession....He was surrounded by a lot of flitty 20-something actors with not a lot of substance (I act myself so I have nothing against actors - these were just very flitty) and while he seemed somewhat ego-stricken he didn't seem at all interested in pursuing them so there was another sign of where his ambition lay in terms of women........So there I was (a women who had it together in every sense but the emotional I guess) and he was just overwhelmed and because of the sensitivity between us and the mess that ensued (my harsh retaliation), he ran. I think he convinced himself I was a catalyst. He told me I was a catalyst for him finally disentangling himself from this liaison at the time that was all a bit iffy (it hurt being called a catalyst). But I think he saw me as a catalyst for other things too because he promptly went off and completed the last bit of the Law degree then got a job teaching ESL at uni and who knows, possibly also worked on his finances and seemed to be trying to rebuild his acting career. I saw that as good - being a catalyst doesn't mean you don't get first prize too but as it turns out he never did return....

But that doesn't mean I can't hope that he will, or that he never will. The compatibility and chemistry we had, not to mention the dramatic peak that many love stories thrive on, all lead to the possibility of an incredible love affair and enduring relationship. While my heart holds out for that, it also stays open for someone new.

So I guess I'm none the wiser on where to go from here and yes the IC works in funny ways. At least thrashing it out has been good therapy and I feel the IC has confirmed what I already knew about how he saw me and that will hopefully allow me to heal more.

If he has such a narrow view of me so as not to even talk to me as a friend then that's his problem. I have made enough attempts to explain my part in the whole debacle (the family suicide, the relationship before him etc) but if he's not open to listening then that's entirely his choice and I have to just respect that. If he's not comfortable with speaking to me then I can't change that. I just wish he would leave my heart after all this time. It really is getting beyond a joke

thanks again

J

 

[my_key]

So I guess I'm none the wiser on where to go from here and yes the IC works in funny ways. At least thrashing it out has been good therapy and I feel the IC has confirmed what I already knew about how he saw me and that will hopefully allow me to heal more.

Hi Jazzy
I wouldn't agree with you being none the wiser after reading the posts here. The healing process takes some wonderful twists and turns at times.
Be Well
Mike